Tajdin woke up the next morning to the sound of chanting outside the apartment window.
He peeked out.
A small but energetic crowd waved pretzels and water bottles like sacred relics.
Karl burst into the room.
"Adolf! Great news! The clubs unified!"
"Unified?! Into WHAT?"
Karl puffed his chest proudly.
"A party!"
Tajdin stared at him.
"I literally left you unsupervised for TWELVE HOURS."
Karl nodded.
"A lot can happen in twelve hours. Movements. Revolutions. Mild baking."
The Party's Name Problem
Downstairs, the crowd asked Tajdin to bless the new organization.
"What is our official name, Leader?" someone yelled.
"Leader? No. Absolutely not. I am not—"
"Leader!" they repeated, louder, trying it out like a new hat.
Tajdin looked at Karl for help.
Karl gave two thumbs up.
"Tajdin," he muttered to himself, "never trust a man with two thumbs up."
The crowd chanted, "Name! Name! Name!"
Tajdin grabbed the nearest object:
a pretzel.
"Fine! We are… uh… The Pretzel Club."
The crowd gasped.
Karl whispered, "But the hydration people will revolt!"
Tajdin grabbed a water bottle.
"And also the Hydration Society!"
More gasps.
Someone yelled, "And the light movement?!"
He grabbed a random lamp.
"YES. AND LAMPS. HAPPY NOW?"
In total panic, he combined all three:
THE UNITED PRETZEL HYDRATION LAMP UNION.
Silence.
Tension thick enough to spread on toast.
Then— euphoria.
"What a visionary name!"
"So symbolic!"
"He unites carbohydrates, cleanliness, and illumination!"
"Brilliant!"
Karl whispered, "This is a terrible name. I love it."
The First Meeting
Inside the beer hall, people sat with notebooks, waiting for Tajdin to speak.
He whispered to Karl,
"I don't have an agenda!"
Karl handed him a napkin.
"Use this."
Written on it:
AGENDA
Say things
Look serious
Leave
"Perfect," Tajdin said. "I will stick to the script."
He stood before the crowd.
"Friends… of pretzels… lamps… and hydration."
The crowd hummed approval.
"I believe in…" Tajdin scanned the room in desperation. "Clean drinking water."
"YES!"
"I believe in… bread products."
"MORE!"
"And…" Tajdin grabbed the lamp again. "Indoor lighting."
The crowd erupted into applause.
Karl slapped him on the back.
"You've got slogans now! Every party needs slogans."
"SLOGANS?!"
Karl began writing:
WATER FOR THE MANY!
BREAD FOR THE HUNGRY!
LIGHT FOR THE DIMLY LIT!
Tajdin stared at the slogans.
"These sound like IKEA instructions."
But destiny didn't care. Destiny was busy knitting a new chapter of history out of nonsense.
The Press Disaster
By the next morning, newspapers printed headlines:
WHO IS THIS ADOLF?
A BRIGHT NEW VOICE!
UNITED PRETZEL HYDRATION LAMP UNION SURGES IN POPULARITY
SLOGANS THAT SHINE!
And worst of all:
COULD THIS MAN SAVE GERMANY?
Tajdin screamed into a pillow.
Karl leaned into the doorway.
"You should do radio interviews."
"No."
"You should hold speeches."
"No."
"You should consider government."
Tajdin threw the pillow at him.
"KARL. I AM TRYING TO PREVENT GOVERNMENT!"
Karl shrugged.
"Then stop being so good at it."
Destiny Plays Its Final Card
A messenger arrived that afternoon.
He handed Tajdin an envelope with a wax seal.
He opened it slowly.
Inside:
INVITATION TO SPEAK IN MUNICH
Karl gasped.
"This is big. Munich! You're becoming national!"
Tajdin shook his head.
"No. No national anything. No country. No borders. No influence. No accidental coups!"
The messenger cleared his throat.
"The people are expecting you. They already rented the hall."
Tajdin's eyes widened.
"What hall?"
Messenger smiled politely.
"The big one."
Karl slapped him on the back.
"Congratulations, Adolf. You're going to Munich!"
Tajdin whispered two words as his soul evaporated:
"Oh no."
Destiny checked another box.