Tajdin had adapted disturbingly well to waking up as Hitler — a logistical nightmare nobody in history textbooks ever prepared him for. He brushed the cursed moustache, sipped mediocre coffee, and pretended he understood government jargon.
Today's emergency topic: paint.
A bureaucrat burst into his office brandishing color charts.
"Mein Führ— err— Mister Leader Sir, our grand modernization plan is behind schedule!"
The chart was 95% beige. Seventeen shades of beige, to be exact.
"Why does a nation need seventeen beiges?" Tajdin asked.
"To avoid supply chain risks," the bureaucrat explained sincerely, as if the fate of civilization depended on Taupe Strategy Readiness.
Tajdin suggested literally any other color, and the entire Cabinet gasped like he'd insulted their grandmothers.
The beige vote passed 14–1.
Meanwhile, Destiny™ was conducting damage control.
The universe had a scheduling department.
History, unfortunately, had deadlines.
Removing Original Hitler from the timeline was not on the schedule — a cosmic clerical error caused by incompetent Fate interns. Now Destiny's mission was to quietly steer events back on track using Tajdin as a puppet stand-in so nobody noticed the original file was missing.
Phase One: Subtle Corrections
Little timeline nudges appeared:
A newspaper typo changed "Public Works" to "Public Reich-Works"
A survey discovered citizens mysteriously approved "grand infrastructure with intimidating vibes"
A shoemaker invented boots that marched too efficiently
Tajdin pushed peace, infrastructure, and knitting.
Destiny pushed vibes.
UNIVERSE HQ – Timeline Correction Office
Historian A: "Status report on Puppet Replacement Hitler?"
Historian B: "He keeps proposing trade deals and sanitation upgrades."
Historian A: "Disastrous. History needs mild confrontational energy by mid-year."
They checked the whiteboard:
Q1: Beige (Ahead of schedule)
Q2: Mild Authoritarian Bureaucracy (On track)
Q3: Political Consolidation (Behind)
They issued new cosmic memos, then broke for lunch.
Phase Two: Charisma Amplification
Destiny quietly amplified Tajdin's crowd control stats.
Not much — just enough that:
pointing at maps looked strategic
sighing looked determined
tripping over briefcases looked purposeful and terrifying
Tajdin thought he looked tired.
Germany thought he looked focused.
Foreign diplomats thought the pipes metaphor in his speech hinted at rearmament.
Destiny high-fived itself invisibly.
Tajdin vs Timeline
Tajdin fought chaos with dullness.
"We must improve sewage systems," he declared.
Crowds chanted slogans about national glory, because nothing says glory like efficiently filtered wastewater.
The beige paint orders tripled. Several political rivals retired suspiciously early. Beige posters appeared on walls nationwide, unrequested but perfectly formatted.
Tajdin whispered, "I only wanted bridges and plumbing."
Destiny whispered, "Buddy, you killed the main character, I'm patching the plot."
TIMELINE CORRECTION PROGRESS: 42%
Tajdin remained blissfully unaware of his role as history's most reluctant puppet.