Berlin smelled like ambition, cigarette smoke, and paperwork.
The officials didn't waste time. They sat Tajdin at a long table in a government building that looked like it was built specifically to intimidate introverts.
A serious man with round glasses flipped open a dossier.
"Adolf, your movements have gained attention."
"They're not movements," Tajdin corrected. "They're misunderstandings."
Round Glasses nodded, taking notes.
"Humility. Excellent. The masses respond well to that."
Karl whispered, "You're killing it."
"I'm trying to kill nothing," Tajdin hissed.
Accidental Policy Meeting
The officials slid a paper across the table.
"Tell us your positions."
"My what?"
"Your policy positions."
"I don't have positions. I have snacks," Tajdin said, holding a pretzel.
Round Glasses pushed the form closer.
"Fine. Start with the economy."
Tajdin panicked.
He had no plan for any economy—past, present, or future.
So he said the safest thing he could think of:
"People should have jobs… preferably paid ones."
The officials nodded intensely.
"Interesting… pro-employment stance."
Karl whispered, "Strong start. Economists hate unemployment."
Another official leaned in.
"And wages?"
"What about wages?"
"How high should they be?"
Tajdin shrugged.
"High enough that people don't starve and low enough that businesses don't faint."
Silence.
Then furious note-taking.
"Balanced," someone nodded. "Moderate. Practical."
Karl whispered,
"You might actually fix the economy."
Foreign Policy Disaster
Next page.
"Foreign relations?"
"I have no relations," Tajdin said. "I barely have friendships."
Round Glasses nodded.
"Isolationism with flexibility. Clever."
Karl choked on a pretzel.
"This is madness."
The Lunch Break Problem
A junior clerk brought sandwiches for everyone.
Bread, cheese, mustard.
Tajdin stared at his sandwich critically.
"This bread is dry."
The room froze.
Bread was serious business in Germany.
Round Glasses whispered, "Is this commentary on grain policy?"
"No—"
"Supply chains?"
"No—"
"Government subsidies?"
"No! It's just dry! Someone needs more butter!"
The officials scribbled frantically.
"Reform food distribution," one wrote.
"National butter standards," wrote another.
Karl stared at Tajdin like he was Moses descending a mountain with dairy commandments.
The Press Leak
After hours of over-analyzed lunch opinions, the meeting ended.
"Expect an official summary of positions," an official said politely.
"What positions? I said nothing!"
"Yes," Round Glasses replied. "And yet you said everything."
The next morning newspapers summarized the meeting:
ADOLF HITLER: A BALANCED ECONOMIST
NEW MOVEMENT CALLS FOR NATIONAL FOOD REFORM
IS THIS THE FUTURE OF GERMAN POLICY?
Karl whistled.
"You're trending again."
Tajdin massaged his forehead.
"I'm trending by accident."
Networking Gone Wrong
Later that week, politicians began inviting him to private gatherings.
Not rallies—dinners.
Not speeches—conversations.
Networking.
Dangerous networking.
At one such dinner, a heavy-set industrialist leaned in.
"What do you want, Adolf? Influence? Money?"
"I want silence," Tajdin replied honestly.
The industrialist smiled approvingly.
"Ah! A man who cannot be bought!"
He turned to the table.
"This is leadership!"
Another industrialist raised his glass.
"To Adolf — the incorruptible!"
Tajdin stared at Karl.
"Did you hear what just happened?"
Karl shrugged.
"You told the truth. Very uncommon in politics."
Destiny Uses Logistics
Somewhere between the third dinner and fifth misinterpreted remark, the invitations changed tone.
Less "come eat"
More "come plan"
Meetings acquired agendas.
Night schedules.
Guest lists.
Minutes.
Tajdin noticed something chilling:
People weren't following him because he was charismatic.
They were following him because they were tired, broke, hungry, and angry.
They wanted someone — anyone — to blame or believe in.
Even a confused reincarnated art school dropout time traveler.
Karl finally said what nobody else dared:
"Adolf… you're not being pushed into power because you're good.
You're being pushed into power because nobody else has ideas."
Tajdin stared at the table.
For the first time, it wasn't funny.
It was still absurd.
But practically absurd.
He whispered:
"This is how history happens… by accident and paperwork."
Destiny smiled coldly.
It had discovered bureaucracy.
And nothing stops bureaucracy.