The road to the Capital was paved with good intentions and bad game design.
"Kaitoyama-sama!" Pyra squealed, clapping her hands. "Look! A fierce Horned Rabbit (Lvl 4) approaches! Shall I unleash the flames of purgatory upon its soul?"
She raised her staff she took out of nowhere, beginning a chant that would likely take three paragraphs to finish. The rabbit hissed, preparing to lunge.
*Eh? Wasn't she using a sword?*
Mordecai didn't slow down. He didn't draw a weapon. He didn't summon anything.
He simply calculated the vector of the rabbit's jump.
As the beast leaped, Mordecai extended his leg in a bored, fluid motion. THUD. He kicked the rabbit mid-air, sending it crashing skull-first into a tree trunk. The critter twitched once and vanished into pixels.
[EXP +15] [Style Points: 0 (Too efficient)]
"Stop chanting," Mordecai sighed, stepping over the loot without looking. "Magic costs Mana. Mana costs recovery time. Gravity? Gravity is free."
Pyra lowered her staff, her face flushing a deep crimson. "O-Oh!" she gasped, writing in a small notebook that also appeared out of nowhere. "Uses gravity to save money... He is so economically responsible!"
Mordecai ignored her. He was busy staring at a window only he could see.
[LEVEL UP! (Lv. 10 -> Lv. 13)] [Larry has reached Lv. 5! EVOLUTION AVAILABLE!] [Select Evolution Path:]
A) Bone Warrior: Big sword. Hard to hide.
B) Bone Mage: Flashy lights. Hard to hide.
C) Skeleton Apprentice (Inventory Specialist): Can organize loot inside the Void and hand items to Master instantly.
"Option C," Mordecai selected mentally. "Larry, listen to me. Do not come out. You are now my backend inventory manager. Organize the loot by market value. If a single bone pops out of my shadow where she can see it, I will grind you into calcium powder."
He wondered how Larry leveled up without doing anything.
He was into some kind of void dimension and yet, he leveled up?!
In his mind, he felt a skeletal thumbs up from the void. [EVOLUTION COMPLETE: Larry is now 'Head of Logistics (Hidden)'.]
After that, he kept walking along the path with Lady Pyra, with random monsters occasionally coming out only to die from Mordecai.
'Aww... he's... he's protecting me...! Nobody has ever done that!" Lady Pyra screamed inside, like a fangirl.
Suddenly, Mordecai stopped. Another notification blocked his vision.
[SYSTEM ALERT: UNSPENT SKILL POINTS DETECTED!] [You have reached LEVEL 18.]
"Level 18? Okay." Mordecai muttered, staring at empty space. He started moving his fingers in the air, allocating points into Strength and Vitality to stop being so squishy.
After that, another window appeared in front of him.
[NEW SKILL UNLOCKED: DARK HEALING (Passive)]
Effect: When an enemy dies within 10 meters, you absorb their residual entropy to heal minor wounds. Works on ANY living being.
Mordecai's Interpretation: "Wireless charging using corpses. Efficient. Saves on potions."
[NEW SKILL UNLOCKED: DARK ABSORB (Active)]
Effect: Drain 10% of a defeated enemy's stats and transfer them to your Minions.
Mordecai's Interpretation: "Corporate Asset Seizure. I can steal their productivity and give it to the intern as a performance bonus."
"Excellent," Mordecai grinned at the empty air. It was a terrifying, capitalist grin. "Larry, prepare to receive a salary raise."
Pyra watched him, entranced. 'Look at him,' she thought, the hearts in her eyes pulsating. 'He is debating with destiny itself! He is smiling at the void! He is so... complex! So cool!'
"Kaitoyama-sama?" she whispered. "Are you... speaking to the gods?"
Mordecai blinked, the menu vanishing. "I was just checking my emails. Let's go. The Capital is ahead."
An hour later, the forest cleared. The Royal Capital of Oakhaven loomed before them. And with it, the Billboards.
"BE LIKE NICK. FIGHT FOR JUSTICE." "SAINTESS LUCY'S HOLY BATH WATER - 50% OFF FOR SUBSCRIBERS!"
Mordecai gagged. "It's a tourist trap."
They reached the massive golden gates. Two lines.
VIP Lane: Red carpet. Empty.
Peasant Lane: Mud, sweat, and a sign reading "Wait Time: 3-5 Business Days."
"Fear not!" Pyra declared. "Follow me! As the Fourth Princess, we take the VIP lane!"
She marched to the guards. "Open the gate! It is me, Princess Pyroetta!"
The guard checked a tablet. BEEP. "Access Denied. King blocked your accounts, honey. You're a 'Broke Civilian' until you join the Hero Party."
Pyra turned pale. "W-What? But... I'm royalty!"
"Back of the line, Princess." The guard replied
She looked devastated. She was about to cry in front of the commoners. Mordecai sighed. Inefficient. Waiting in line would take days.
He stepped forward, adjusting his cap to hide his eyes. He put a hand on Pyra's shoulder, moving her aside like a piece of furniture.
"Excuse me, officer," Mordecai said, adopting his best 'Tired Tech Support' voice. He pointed at the glowing barrier. "I'm not with the crying girl. I'm here for Ticket #404. Barrier fluctuation."
"Fluctuation?" the guard blinked.
"Yeah," Mordecai lied, pointing at a random rune. "Hear that hum? That's a memory leak in the mana circuit. If I don't patch it, this gate will lock down and traps the VIPs inside. How are you gonna explain that to Saintess Lucy?"
The guard sweated. "Uh... nobody told me..."
"That's because I'm the emergency contractor," Mordecai said. "I need to check the valve."
He reached into his empty satchel bag. To the guard, it looked like he was rummaging for tools.
Inside the bag (which was connected to the Void), Larry was waiting. The skeleton instantly placed a heavy mana-wrench into Mordecai's hand.
Mordecai pulled the wrench out smoothly. No fumbling. Just instant, professional readiness.
"See?" Mordecai waved the wrench. "Now, stand back. Assistant!" He snapped his fingers at Pyra.
Pyra blinked, tears still in her eyes. "M-Me?"
"Yes, you. Hold the flashlight," Mordecai ordered, handing her a glowing crystal he had also just pulled from the bag (probbably courtesy of Larry). "And try to look professional. We're on the clock."
Pyra, confused but desperate for direction, grabbed the crystal and stood at attention. "Y-Yes, Daddy---! I mean... Kaitoyama!"
"Go right in," the guard stammered, opening the VIP gate. "Fix it fast."
Mordecai walked through, tipping his cap. "Pleasure doing business."
As they entered the city, Pyra ran up to him, clutching the crystal like a treasure. "You... you hacked the Royal Gate with words? And you made me your assistant?" Her face turned beet red. "I suppose... for a commoner... you take charge quite well! You should thank me for letting you be my new Master!!"
Mordecai ignored her, looking up at the giant statue of Nick. "Don't get used to it," he mumbled, putting the wrench back in the bag. Inside the void, Larry gave him a silent thumbs up.