The Royal Guard looked like he had been polished with the same wax used on the floors. He held a golden halberd in one hand and a magical tablet in the other.
"Name and Business," he droned, not looking up from his screen.
Pyra straightened her back. She smoothed out her frilly dress, flipped her twin-tails, and channeled every ounce of royal dignity she possessed.
"I am Princess Pyroetta Von Serylda," she announced, her voice ringing clear. "Fourth daughter of King Serylda. I have come to fulfill my destiny and join the Hero Party of Sir Nick and Saintess Lucy!"
Her voice echoed in Mordecai's ears like a mosquito noise that you hear during the night when you're trying to sleep.
The guard paused. He slowly looked up and then raised a monocle made of blue crystal to his eye.
Zip. Zoom.
He scanned her.
"Serylda..." the guard muttered, scrolling through his tablet. "Ah. Here it is." He chuckled.
It wasn't a nice chuckle. It was the sound of a bureaucrat finding a clerical error.
"You mean the 'Asset' sold by King Serylda to pay off the kingdom's grain debt?" the guard sneered. "Status: 'Pending Concubine'. Delivery delayed by... three months."
Pyra froze. The color drained from her face. "W-What?" she whispered. "Sold? Debt? No... my father sent me to save the world! It is a noble quest!"
"It's a transaction, honey," the guard said, chewing on a toothpick. "Your dad traded you for a trade route and 500 crates of mana potions. You aren't a VIP. You're a late package."
Pyra didn't scream or argue.
She just looked down at her boots while her hands clenched into fists at her sides, shaking violently. She bit her lower lip so hard a tiny drop of blood appeared. She wasn't even looking at the guard. She was staring at the lie that had just shattered.
Mordecai watched her and the familiar screen appeared again.
[SYSTEM DEBUFF: CLICHÉ NAUSEA]
[Trigger: 'The Strong Female Character with a secret tragic backstory involving abusive parents.' Effect: Severe rolling of eyes and sense of raging against low budget animes.]
'Great,' Mordecai thought, feeling the bile rise. 'She's not just a Tsundere. She's a Tragically Sold Princess. Can we skip the flashback arc? I haven't had lunch yet.'
[System Notification: Flashback blocked, you have to level up your bond.]
'Thanks for the clarification. I'm not gonna do it.' Kaito Thought.
"Let me in!" Pyra suddenly yelled, her voice cracking but fierce. She looked up, eyes wet but burning. "I need to speak to Sir Nick! He will understand! He is a Hero! He values justice, not politics!"
The guard ignored her completely. She was invisible to him now.
To his eyes, she was nothing more than low value asset.
He then turned his monocle toward Mordecai.
Zip. Zoom.
"And you?" the guard asked, looking at the man in the flat cap. "You don't look like a trade good. You look like dirt."
The monocle flashed. [SCAN RESULT] [Name: Kaitoyama] [Class: Magic Electrician (Commoner)] [Level: 1]
The guard burst out laughing. It was a loud, barking laugh that made the other guards turn around. "Level 1? A Level 1 Magic Electrician?!" The guard wiped a tear from his eye. "By the Gods, I haven't seen a single-digit level since... well, since the rats in the sewer! What are you doing here, peasant? Did you get lost looking for the tutorial zone?" He said, clearly mocking him.
Mordecai stood perfectly still. His expression didn't change.
'Level 1,' he thought calmly. 'Good. The disguise is working perfectly. Everyone here is a complete idiot.'
"He..." Pyra stammered, stepping in front of Mordecai defensively, desperate to regain some control. "He is with me! He is my... my bag carrier! My slave! He carries my luggage!"
The guard stopped laughing. He looked cold. "Listen to me, Princess," he spat. "This is the Royal Palace of Oakhaven. The Hero Nick and Saintess Lucy are inside right now, broadcasting to millions of fans. Their Auras alone would vaporize a Level 1 insect like him."
He pointed his halberd at the road. "You are too low level to even breathe the same air as them." He said, his voice becoming more aggressive. "Go away. Before I grind you for 5 XP."
The gate remained shut. Pyra looked defeated. She turned to Mordecai, her eyes pleading. "Kaitoyama... I..."
Mordecai ignored her. He wasn't looking at the guard. He wasn't looking at the gate. He was looking at the wall next to the gate.
His [Reveal Magic] eyes saw what the guard couldn't.
The palace was a TOTAL mess.
To make it look "shiny" and "magical" for the cameras, they had overloaded the circuits. Massive mana cables were duct-taped together behind the marble facade. The voltage on the security lighting was running at 200% capacity.
The entire "Hero HQ" was a fire hazard waiting to happen.
"Inefficient," Mordecai whispered.
He stepped forward, past Pyra. He adjusted his cap. "Hey. Guard." His voice dropped by an octave.
The guard looked down, annoyed. "Still here, Level 1? Do you want to die?"
"No," Mordecai said, his voice flat and bored. He pointed a gloved finger at a faintly glowing rune cluster on the top of the gate tower. "But you might want to check your employment insurance."
"What?"
"That lighting rig up there," Mordecai said, switching to his 'Tech Support' voice. "It's running on a loop, right? To make Nick's hair look shiny for the stream?"
"Yeah, so?" the guard frowned. "It's the Holy Spotlight."
"It's wired into the same circuit as the Gate Security," Mordecai lied (partially). "I can see the mana leakage from here. The frequency is vibrating. In about... three minutes, when Nick powers up for his intro..."
Mordecai made an exploding gesture with his hand. "Pop. The spotlight blows. The gate shorts out. And the entire 'Holy Stream' goes dark in front of millions of viewers."
He looked the guard dead in the eye. "Imagine Nick's face when the lights go out because you didn't let the maintenance guy fix the fuse."
The guard paled. He looked up at the light. It was flickering slightly. "B-But the Royal Mage said it was fine..."
"The Royal Mage is probably a mere Level 50 Wizard," Mordecai scoffed. "Does he know the difference between AC and DC Mana currents? Or does he just cast 'Fireball' at the fuse box?"
Mordecai took a step closer, radiating pure, unadulterated confidence.
"I'm a Level 1 Electrician because I don't waste XP fighting goblins. I spend it fixing the mess you 'Heroes' make. Now, do you want to let me in to ground that wire, or do you want to be the guy who ruined the Livestream?" He said, souding menacing.
The guard sweated. The logic was sound. And the fear of angering Nick (the Influencer) was greater than the fear of breaking protocol.
"I..." The guard looked at the light, then at Mordecai. "You can fix it without turning it off, right?"
"I can bypass the load," Mordecai said, pulling a screwdriver from his pocket (probably passed by Larry). "But I need access to the inner courtyard panel."
The guard gritted his teeth. He tapped his tablet. Buzz. The small service door next to the main gate clicked open.
"Five minutes," the guard hissed. "You go in, you fix the light, you get out. And take the crying girl with you, she's depressing the tourists."
Mordecai tipped his cap. "Pleasure doing business."
He grabbed Pyra by the back of her collar—she was still staring blankly at the ground—and dragged her through the service door.
As soon as they were inside the palace grounds, Mordecai let her go. He looked around. The courtyard was filled with props, cameras, and assistants running around with coffee.
"Level 1," Mordecai muttered to himself, a terrifying smirk forming on his face. "They think it's a weakness. In this city... it's the ultimate camouflage."
[SYSTEM NOTIFICATION: FEEDBACKS FROM THE HIGHER REALMS! READER RETENTION INCREASED BY 10%]
Simp4Pyra: "NOOOO! 😭 My poor Princess! Sold like a bag of potatoes? King Serylda is trash! Mordecai, if you don't burn that kingdom down later, I'm dropping the novel!"
xX_LogicLord_Xx: "LMAO 'Does the Royal Mage know the difference between AC and DC Mana?' 💀 This is gold. The guard got cooked by basic electrical engineering. Who needs Fireball when you have Ohm's Law?"
TrashTaste_Enjoyer: "Wait, did anyone catch the 'Cliche Nausea' debuff? Even the System is tired of tragic backstories. 😂 Mordecai rolling his eyes while she's having a breakdown is peak character consistency."
NTR_Lover69: "Nick is gonna freak out when the lights flicker. Can't wait for the face-to-face meeting. I bet he tries to hire Pyra as an unpaid intern too. 🍿"
Rhia_Reader: "Larry is a good minion with a useful skill set. 👍"
OoDarkNinjaoO: "lil bro is gonna defeat them with bureaucracy, lmfao."
'Larry, I've got a new plan."