The inner courtyard of the Royal Palace was less "Military HQ" and more "Movie Set."
Squires were running around with reflectors to catch the sunlight and mages were practicing Wind Blasts not for combat, but to make banners flutter dramatically.
Our beloved (fake) Necromancer kept looking around and noticed that everything was disgusting.
'I hate this.' He thought.
Pyroetta, on the other hand, was really enthusiastic.
She looked like a child in a toy store, looking everywhere and commenting every single thing she saw.
In Mordecai's ear, she was still being as noisy as a mosquito.
"Look, Kaitoyama!! That sword is the weapon Sir Nick used to defeat the great Dragon one month ago! WOW!" She exclaimed in pure joy, jumping from happiness.
Mordecai was completely ignoring her.
They then walked towards a big "stage" in front of him.
It was a massive, raised platform of white marble, polished to a mirror sheen. Behind it hung a colossal violet tapestry that shimmered with dormant mana.
To an innocent eye like Pyra's, it looked like a sacred altar where legends addressed their people.
To Mordecai, it was obvious what it really was: a Magical Green Screen. The tapestry was woven with high-level Illusion Runes designed to project fake backgrounds—'Fiery Dungeon', 'Stormy Battlefield', or 'Heavenly Light'—so the Heroes could look like they were fighting in dangerous locations without ever leaving the safety of the palace.
Surrounding the stage were floating crystals—the very ones Mordecai was here to fix—rigged not for visibility, but to cast a permanent 'Beauty Filter' aura on anyone standing in the center.
Mordecai knelt by a mana junction box near the main stage. "Passing the wrench," he muttered to himself. A skeletal hand emerged from his shadow, placing a mana-driver in the form of a wrench in his palm.
To the naked eye, Mordecai was tightening a loose bolt. In reality, he was installing a [Mana Breaker] Born from his skill [Short Circuit].
It was nothing more than a small, magical "Kill Switch." If he ever snapped his fingers, this entire courtyard would plunge into darkness, the cameras would fry, and the defensive barriers would implode.
'Insurance policy installed,' Mordecai thought, closing the panel. 'If I have to burn this place down, I'll start with the lighting rig.'
Behind him, Pyra was pacing back and forth. She was hyperventilating.
"Do I look presentable?" she asked, smoothing her dress for the tenth time. "My hair... is it symmetrical? Oh gods, I am about to meet Him again! My heart is racing!"
"That's probably tachycardia from the stress," Mordecai said without looking up. "Deep breaths. Oxygen is free."
Suddenly, the massive double doors of the palace swung open. [SYSTEM ALERT: CLICHÉ NAUSEA DETECTED.] [Source: Narcissistic Entrance. Brace yourself.] [Effect: High level Cringe]
Music started playing from nowhere. Golden petals fell from the sky (summoned by exhausted mages on the roof). And there he was. Hero Nick.
'He's the same copy of Prince Charming.' Mordecai repeated in his mind.
He looked exactly like he did on the billboards. Blonde hair perfectly gelled. Armor so shiny it was impractical for actual combat. He walked with the swagger of a man who knew he had 10 million followers.
"What's up, Oakhaven!" Nick shouted to the empty courtyard (practicing his intro). "Are we ready to save the world? Or are we ready to... look good doing it?!"
Pyra let out a strangled squeak. She stepped forward, trembling. "Sir... Sir Nick!"
Nick stopped. He lowered his sunglasses (which were enchanted items, obviously). He looked at Pyra and didn't even smile. He looked confused. "And you are?"
"It is Me!" Pyra cried, bowing deeply. "Princess Pyroetta Von Serylda! I have finally arrived from the Kingdom of Serylda to join your party! I am ready to serve!"
Nick blinked. Then he pulled out a magic tablet. "Serylda... Serylda..." He scrolled. "Ah. The 'Grain Deal' girl." He looked at her, scanning her up and down. His expression shifted from confusion to disappointment.
"Level 35?" Nick scoffed. "And a Fire-Swordsman Mage with almost no point in Intelligence? Babe, the meta right now is Ice Magic. Fire causes too much smoke on camera."
Pyra froze. "B-But... my father said..."
"Yeah, yeah," Nick waved his hand dismissively. "Listen, honey. The contract says you're here as a 'Morale Booster'. You know..." He gave her a sleazy wink, making a crude gesture with his hips. "A Mana Receptacle for when the Hero needs to... unload some stress."
Pyra stood there, paralyzed. She understood. He didn't want a warrior. He didn't want a princess. He wanted a ball-drainer with a crown.
She looked at Mordecai. Her eyes were wide, wet, and desperate. She was silently begging him: 'Say something. Do something. Tell him I'm more than this.'
Mordecai tightened his grip on the wrench. He felt a mix of pure hatred and second-hand embarrassment. [QUEST STARTED: KNOW YOUR ENEMY] [Objective: Analyze the Heroes without vomiting.]
Nick laughed, turning his attention to Mordecai. "And who's the gloomy guy? Level 1?" Nick cackled. "Wow. We really are scraping the bottom of the barrel. Don't worry, little NPC. Alwayus stay behind me and I'll protect you!"
Nick struck a pose. His armor glowed. [SYSTEM ALERT] [SKILL ACTIVATED: HERO SPEECH] [Effect: Emits a pheromone-like charm that forces lower-level entities to adore the user.]
Mordecai braced himself for the mental attack. But then... he looked at Pyra.
She should have been swooning. She should have been blushing. Instead, Pyra covered her mouth. Her face turned green. She looked... disgusted.
'Did he break her heart enough to break the system? Or... was Mordecai's influence stronger?'
[SYSTEM ERROR: TARGET 'PYROETTA' RESISTING SCRIPT.] [Affection Status: REPULSED.]
'Interesting,' Mordecai thought. 'The programming is breaking. She's waking up.'
The hero had probably noticed that his charm didn't work, judging from the confused look on his face.
"Anyway," Nick said, changing the topic and checking his reflection in his sword. "If you want to be in the main party, Princess, go grind some dungeons. Come back when you're Level 60. Otherwise... you're just bedroom furniture."
Pyroetta's fists clenched automatically as she looked down on the floor.
[CLICHÉ TRIGGER: DEFEND THE MAIDEN!]
The System urged Mordecai to step in. To punch the Hero or to make a dramatic speech you usually see in those animes.
Mordecai did nothing. He turned back to the fuse box. 'Not my problem. And definitely not the time.'
"ALRIGHT PEOPLE!" A shrill voice cut through the air.
Mordecai immediately stopped whatever he was doing and moved his eyes to the source of the sound and... he saw her.
Saintess Lucy walked out. She was flanked by two makeup artists. "Are we recording or not?! My 'Blessing' buff wears off in ten minutes and I refuse to cast it again!"
Mordecai's stomach churned. It was her. The woman who had once told him he was "too boring" right before she started sleeping with Nick. The woman whose face was now plastered on "Holy Bath Water" bottles.
He narrowed his eyes and took advantage of the "distraction".
[SKILL: REVEAL MAGIC (Telepathic/Stealth Mode)]
A window appeared over their heads.
[NAME: NICK (The Chosen One)] [LEVEL: 100 (MAX)] [STR: 999 | INT: 999 | LUCK: ∞] [PASSIVE: PLOT ARMOR (Cannot die unless the plot demands it) - - - - - - BLOCKED VIEW, SKILL LEVEL TOO LOW.]
[NAME: LUCY (The Saintess)] [LEVEL: 100 (MAX)] [PASSIVE: SIMP HARVEST (Gains mana from donations)- - - - - - - - ACCESS DENIED, SKILL LEVEL TOO LOW]
'Level 100,' Mordecai realized, feeling a cold sweat. 'And Plot Armor. If I attack them now, the universe itself will intervene to save them. I'm an ant fighting gods.'
Lucy stopped. She looked at Mordecai's back. "Nick," she said, her voice sharp. "Who is the peasant? He smells like... poverty."
"Just the electrician," Nick laughed. "Hey! Wind guy! Give me a breeze!"
Then, she moved her gaze to Pyroetta, who had a look of complete sadness on her face.
"Oh, you poor thing... Who are you? what's wrong?" She asked to the Tsundere, probably noticing her pain.
Just when Pyroetta was about to speak, something "strange" happened.
A mage in the corner shouted and casted a magic named [Wind Blast]. But he missed. The gust of wind didn't hit Nick. It hit Mordecai.
WHOOSH. The flat cap flew off Mordecai's head. His dark, messy hair fell over his eyes. He turned around instinctively, his face exposed to the sunlight. His eyes—one blue, one violet—were sharp, cold, and filled with a dangerous, edgy brooding energy.
'Shit.' He mumbled.
He didn't look like a Level 1 NPC. He looked like the tragic, handsome villain of a dark romance novel.
Lucy gasped. She stopped complaining. Her eyes widened. She licked her lips, a predatory hunger washing over her face. It was the look of a cat seeing a new, interesting mouse.
"Oh..." Lucy purred. "Well, hello there. You look... damaged. I like damaged people..." She added, while her eyes started to shine.
Mordecai felt a big sense of uneasiness lingering in him, like someone was reading his deepest secrets.
[SYSTEM ALERT!] [DANGER: YOU ARE BEING ANALYZED BY THE SAINTESS.] [WARNING: 'TOTAL HIDE STATUS' IS UNDER STRESS. TIP: RUN!]
Mordecai felt her gaze dissecting him. She was recognizing something. Surely not Kaito, but the "type" of person she liked to toy with.
"I need to check the circuit breakers in the basement," Mordecai said abruptly, grabbing his cap from the ground. "Excuse me."
He turned and walked away fast. He didn't run, but his pace was urgent.
[QUEST COMPLETED: MEET THE HEROES] [REWARD: 10,000 XP] [NEW SKILL UNLOCKED: TELEPATHY (Commander Rank)]
Effect: You can use your mind to communicate with your minions.
Bonus Effect: You can give them orders while they're being stored in the void.
Pyra stood there for a second. Nick was ignoring her. Lucy was staring lewdly at Mordecai's retreating back. She felt sick.
The Hero was a pig. The Saintess was a predator.
She turned and ran after Mordecai. "Wait! Kaitoyama!"
As he walked into the shadows of the palace corridor, Mordecai activated his new skill.
'Luketto,' he projected his voice into his pocket. 'Master?' the Golem's sad voice echoed in his mind. 'Wake up,' Mordecai ordered, his eyes glowing in the dark. 'We're leaving. We need to grind. I need to reach Level 50 before I have a chance to humiliate these clowns.'
During his "run" , the familiar golden screen appeared in front of Mordecai. And he couldn't help but read.
[FEEDBACK FROM THE HIGHER REALMS]
NTR_Lover69: "DID YOU SEE LUCY LICK HER LIPS?! 💀 She dumped him when he was boring Kaito, but now that he's 'Broken Edgelord Mordecai', she wants him? The toxicity is off the charts. I love it."
Meta_Slave: "Nick rejecting a Fire Mage because 'smoke looks bad on camera' is the most realistic influencer thing I've ever read. Also, 'Level 100 - Plot Armor'? Devs, please nerf."
Pyra_Protection_Squad: "SHE WAS DISGUSTED! Did you guys see the notification? 'Affection Status: REPULSED'. The ship is sailing! Pyra finally realized the 'Hero' is just a glorified TikToker."
Grindset_Go: "Smart move leaving. Level 1 vs Level 100 is suicide. Time for the training arc. Mordecai needs to turn that Golem into a raid boss."