International relations in 1930s Europe had evolved into something resembling a group project where everyone assumed everyone else was cheating.
Tajdin decided the only solution was treaties.
Treaties meant stability. Treaties meant peace. Treaties meant paperwork, and paperwork meant nobody shot at anybody while signatures were pending.
He invited the big powers again for what he titled:
"Conference for Harmonized Stability & Railway Timetables."
Destiny high-lighted the word stability in cosmic red ink and muttered, "We'll see."
Britain Arrives Armed With Suspicion
The British delegation brought:
three analysts
five translators
two historians
and one man whose only job was to speculate
They sat in a corner scribbling notes like:
"Why railways?""Why now?""Is the tea symbolic?""Is the lack of symbolism symbolic?"
France Escalates Sighing to a Weapon
The French delegation entered, sighed dramatically, and declared:
"We are here. Do not make us regret this."
Every clause of every draft treaty triggered a new sigh category:
tariff sigh
border sigh
quota sigh
existential sigh
Diplomacy is war by paragraph, after all.
Italy Unleashes Biscuit Diplomacy
Italy arrived with trays of biscotti and an official policy proposal labeled:
"Friendship Through Confectionery"
Article 3 was entirely about dunking technique.
Historians would later describe Italy's foreign policy this decade as:
"Aggressively flavorful."
Soviet Union Observes Like a Security Camera
The Soviets sat still, notebooks ready, faces blank. No smiles. No nods. No human behavior detected.
Their interpreter occasionally whispered:
"We understand everything."
This terrified everyone in the room.
The Treaty Negotiations Begin
Tajdin suggested small, harmless agreements first:
shared railway standards
mutual pipe-fitting specifications
universal teacup measurements
These were met with suspicion levels normally reserved for espionage.
Britain: "Pipes? For what purpose?"France: "Teacups? Why unity? Why now?"Italy: "This means war of biscotti!"USSR: (stares like owls)Destiny: (nudges pens to write clauses ambiguously)
By hour five, the treaty said:
"All parties agree to support mutual stabilization of unspecified logistical undertakings."
Which honestly could mean anything.
International Spies Make It Worse
Spy agencies read the draft faster than diplomats.
British Intelligence report:
"Logistics" = troop movement capabilities.
French Intelligence report:
"Stabilization" = territorial ambition.
Soviet Intelligence report:
"Unspecified undertakings" = capitalist plot.
Italian Intelligence report:
"Undertakings" = construction of enormous biscuits.
Destiny updated the cosmic board:
TIMELINE CORRECTION: 96%
Tajdin's Internal Strategy Meeting
Tajdin gathered his Cabinet.
"We need to be clear and peaceful," he insisted.
His ministers nodded for the wrong reasons.
Minister of Railways: "We will clarify by building faster trains!"Minister of Economy: "Peace needs bigger factories!"Minister of Public Works: "And more beige!"
Tajdin buried his face in his hands.
"I just want international plumbing harmony," he whispered into the void.
Destiny whispered back, "You should've thought of that before deleting Original Hitler."
The Final Twist: Treaties Become Alliances
Before anyone noticed, the treaty drafts evolved into:
cooperation agreements
then mutual guarantees
then "temporary defensive compacts"
then "non-binding binding alliances"
A British diplomat blinked and asked, "Are we in an alliance now?"
A French diplomat sighed and replied, "Technically, we are in three."
Italy happily dunked biscotti into victory espresso.
The Soviets continued to owl.
Destiny stamped:
TIMELINE CORRECTION: 98%
Just two percent away from restoring the messy historical arc the universe demanded.
End Scene
Tajdin stared at the treaty table — a battlefield of pens, biscuits, maps, and misunderstandings — and realized something terrible:
The harder he pushed for peace, the more history rearranged itself into conflict-shaped furniture.