The next morning, Tajdin woke up with a hangover, a headache, and a new problem:
His face was on a pamphlet.
Karl waved it proudly. "Look! The beer hall made you their official guest speaker!"
Tajdin snatched it. "Remove this immediately! I am not a speaker, I am a peace-loving time traveler!"
Karl squinted. "A what?"
"Never mind!"
The pamphlet read:
'ADOLF HITLER — MAN OF THE PEOPLE!'
Also, pretzels.
Tajdin groaned. Destiny wasn't just pushing him toward politics — it was catapulting him.
Operation: Become Extremely Boring
If history had taught Tajdin anything, it was that charismatic leaders thrive.
Therefore, he concluded:
If I become the most boring man in Vienna, nobody will follow me.
It was a great plan in theory.
Phase 1: Bad Conversations
At the beer hall, Karl introduced him to a small crowd.
"Speak to them, Adolf!"
Tajdin stepped forward.
He used his most soul-crushing voice.
"Let us discuss… tax forms."
The crowd actually leaned in.
He continued droning:
"Page one asks your income. Page two asks the same thing. Page three asks for ink color preference—"
Karl whispered, "Amazing! You're making bureaucracy sound heroic!"
"What?! No! That was supposed to be BORING!"
But instead, Karl yelled to the crowd:
"Adolf understands the struggles of paperwork! A true man of the people!"
The crowd cheered.
Phase 2: No Eye Contact
Eye contact was powerful. Leaders used it.
So Tajdin decided on the opposite:
Extreme Avoidance.
He stared at his own shoes during the entire speech.
The crowd murmured with admiration.
"Look how humble he is!"
"He refuses to look down on us!"
One man cried, "True humility!"
Tajdin wanted to scream. He accidentally invented inspirational humility.
Phase 3: Destroy the Mustache
The final step.
The most logical step.
While Karl was distracted, Tajdin snuck into the bathroom with scissors.
"I remove the mustache," he whispered. "And with it — the timeline."
He snipped.
Snip!
The mustache fell into the sink.
He looked up, triumphant.
Then Karl burst in, horrified.
"ADOLF! What have you done?!"
"Ended destiny," Tajdin said.
Karl shook his head. "No! Now you look weird! We need to fix that!"
Before Tajdin could escape, Karl took him to a barber.
The barber studied his face like he was examining a museum artifact.
"Hm. His face requires… balance."
With the confidence of a man who ruined many faces before, the barber trimmed and reshaped the hair.
When he stepped away…
The mustache was back.
Smaller. Neater.
Even more iconic.
Karl gasped. "Perfect!"
Tajdin stared in silent horror.
He whispered to himself:
"Destiny is bullying me."
The Unexpected Rally
Later that week, Tajdin attempted to hide in a quiet café, hoping to reconsider his life choices.
Unfortunately, people recognized him.
Not for his speeches.
Not for his pretzel policy.
But for the mustache.
"Excuse me," said a stranger. "Are you the tax form man?"
"No," Tajdin lied instantly.
"Yes you are!" another shouted. "Say something inspirational!"
Tajdin panicked. He accidentally stood on a chair.
"Uh… people… should… drink water."
The crowd burst into applause.
"YES! Hydration for all!"
Someone added, "This man wants us to live longer! What a revolutionary!"
And just like that…
A hydration movement was born.
Posters appeared overnight:
"ADOLF SAYS: WATER FOR THE WORKING MAN!"
Newspapers printed headlines:
A NEW VOICE EMERGES
Tajdin read them in shock.
"No. No no no no. I was trying to STOP him."
Karl slapped him on the back.
"You're unstoppable! Soon we'll form a proper party!"
"A WHAT?!"
Karl nodded enthusiastically.
"The people demand it!"
Tajdin collapsed onto the table.
He whispered:
"This is not leadership. This is a hydration accident."
But destiny didn't care.
Destiny had a checklist.
And Tajdin was helping destiny tick boxes faster than history originally managed.