**Z-Valhalla. District 3 (Martial Arts Sector).**
**Wednesday. 4:00 PM.**
Silver Fang (Bang) stands in front of his dojo. The sign for "Water Stream Rock Smashing Fist" hangs crookedly, one nail surrendered to gravity.
Leaves blow across the entrance.
Inside, Charanko is sweeping the same spot of dust he has been sweeping for three hours.
"Master," Charanko sighs. "We have zero students. Again."
Bang strokes his mustache. His eyes are narrowed, focused not on his empty dojo, but on the monstrosity built across the street.
It is a skyscraper made of white marble and neon lights.
A hologram of **Apollo** flexes biceps the size of watermelons above the entrance.
**The Pantheon Gym & Spa.**
*Subtitle: Get a God-Bod in 30 Days.*
"Showy," Bang grumbles. "No substance. Just protein powder and ego."
**Inside The Pantheon Gym.**
Techno music blasts at 140 BPM.
The air smells of lavender and testosterone.
Monsters (reformed), B-Class heroes, and aspiring civilians crowd the machines.
The machines are not standard steel. They are animated automatons forged by Hephaestus.
A leg-press machine growls at its user: **"PUSH, MORTAL! PUSH OR I CRUSH YOU!"**
**Zeus** (Muscle Form) walks the floor as the Head Trainer.
He wears a tight tank top that says *'THE FATHER'*.
"You call that a squat?" Zeus yells at Tanktop Tiger. "My glutes shattered mountains! Go lower! Until your soul touches the floor!"
**The Client.**
The automatic doors slide open.
Saitama walks in.
He holds a flyer.
*"7-Day Free Trial. Free Smoothie on Entry."*
Genos follows, carrying a duffel bag and a humidity sensor.
"Master, the waiver for this facility includes a clause for 'Accidental Apotheosis'. It is legally dubious."
"I just want the smoothie," Saitama says. He walks to the front desk.
**Hermes** is typing furiously.
"Name?"
"Saitama."
"Occupation?"
"Hero. Part-time tenant."
"Goal?"
"Glutes," Saitama lies. "And the Berry Blast Smoothie."
Hermes hands him a key card. "Locker 1. Enjoy the gains."
**The Assessment.**
Saitama changes into his gym clothes (his old school PE uniform).
He enters the weight room.
Zeus spots him immediately.
The King of Gods freezes mid-spot.
*The Anomaly,* Zeus thinks. *He is here to train? Does he seek to refine his infinite power? If I train him... do I become the Master of the Universe?*
Zeus approaches, radiating helpful mentorship energy (which looks terrifying).
"Young man!" Zeus booms, slapping Saitama's back. "You seek strength? Let the King show you the way of the **Iron Thunder Body**!"
Saitama looks at Zeus.
"Can you show me where the water fountain is? The map is confusing."
"First, we assess!" Zeus points to the Bench Press.
The weights are not plates. They are boulders taken from Mount Olympus. The bar is made of solidified lightning.
"This is the **Hercules Set**. 500 tons. Try to lift it."
Saitama lies down on the bench.
"This padding is hard," he complains.
Zeus smirks. *He will struggle with the grip. The lightning bar shocks the unworthy.*
Saitama grabs the lightning.
*ZZZTT.*
"Static," Saitama notes.
He pushes.
The bar flies up.
It doesn't stop.
He pushed it with the casual force of someone opening a door.
The 500-ton bar, plus the boulders, rockets into the ceiling.
It punches through the roof.
It punches through the clouds.
Zeus stares at the hole in his ceiling.
"My roof," Zeus whispers.
Saitama sits up.
"Oops. I think I used too much tricep. Do I have to pay for that?"
**The Rivalry.**
"Hmph."
Bang walks into the gym.
He couldn't stay away. He purchased a Day Pass just to sneer.
"Brute force," Bang says, arms crossed. "Just lifting rocks. No elegance. No flow."
Zeus turns. His veins pulse. "Silver Fang. You dare critique the divine regiment?"
"Martial arts isn't about lifting heavy things," Bang lectures, ignoring the massive hole in the ceiling. "It is about using the opponent's strength against them. Efficiency."
"Efficiency?!" Zeus puffs up. "I conquered the Titans! I rule the Cosmos! I am the peak of physique!"
"You're top-heavy," Bang points out. "Skinny calves."
The music stops.
The gym goes silent.
Zeus looks at his legs. They *are* slightly disproportionate compared to his massive torso.
"These..." Zeus trembles. "...are aerodynamic!"
"Let's settle this," Bang drops into his stance. Water currents form around his hands. "Your Divine Brute Force versus my Flowing Water. Right here. Loser pays this bald man's gym membership for a year."
Saitama perks up. "Oh? Make it a Lifetime Membership."
**The Gym War.**
Zeus roars. **"ACCEPTED!"**
He doesn't transform into Adamas immediately. He tries to use technique to prove a point.
He throws a jab. **Meteor Jab.**
Fast. 0.0001 second reaction time.
Bang doesn't blink. He flows.
He catches Zeus's wrist. He rotates his hips.
**Flowing Water Rock Smashing Fist.**
He uses Zeus's momentum to spin the God King around.
*SWISH-SLAM.*
Zeus is face-planted into a treadmill.
The treadmill belt—set to high speed—sands Zeus's face for a second before he snaps it.
"Cheap trick!" Zeus yells, jumping up.
He throws a flurry. Hundreds of punches.
Bang parries them all. His hands are a blur of blue light.
*Parry-deflect-counter-parry.*
"You hold your breath too much," Bang critiques mid-fight. "You'll gas out in Round 2."
Saitama stands by the smoothie bar, sipping a purple drink.
"Genos, write that down. Breathing is important."
"Recorded, Master. Diaphragm control."
Zeus is getting frustrated. He is the God of Gods. He shouldn't be tossed by an old human in sweatpants.
"Enough technique!"
Zeus's muscles compress. Steam shoots out.
**Adamas Form: 20% Output.**
"Now," Zeus grins, his voice vibrating the floor. "Try to deflect a mountain."
**The Fist That Surpassed Time.** (Lite Version).
He punches.
Bang's eyes widen. He sees the accumulation of force. It's too dense. He cannot flow around it. It is a tidal wave.
He crosses his arms. **Tanktop Master Style (Borrowed): Fortress Guard.**
*CRUNCH.*
Bang skids backward. He plows through a row of ellipticals. He crashes through the wall into the locker room.
The wall collapses.
"HA!" Zeus flexes. "Divinity reigns!"
**The Equipment Rebellion.**
The vibration of Zeus's punch disturbs the **Magical Core** of the gym.
Hephaestus's automatons malfunction.
The gym equipment wakes up.
They are angry. They have been sweated on all day.
A Pec-Deck Machine rips itself from the floor.
**"NO MORE REPS,"** the machine screeches metallically. **"ONLY DEATH."**
A rowing machine wraps its cables around an innocent hero (Spring Mustachio).
"Unhand me, you vulgar apparatus!"
"The gym is revolting!" Hermes yells, hiding under the desk.
Zeus turns. A Squad of Ellipticals is charging him.
"You dare challenge the Manager?!"
Saitama finishes his smoothie.
He crumples the plastic cup.
"This is annoying," Saitama says. "I just wanted to use the massage chair."
He walks into the chaos.
The Pec-Deck Machine attacks him. It tries to clamp his head.
**"MAX OUT!"** the machine screams.
Saitama puts his hands inside the clamping arms.
"Chest Press."
He opens his arms.
*CREAAAAK... SNAP.*
He forces the machine open backward. The hydraulics explode. The metal shatters.
"Serious Move."
Saitama looks at the room full of possessed exercise equipment.
"Serious Warm-Up: Jumping Jacks."
Saitama begins to do jumping jacks.
But he does them with **Serious Intensity**.
Every time his feet hit the floor, a shockwave ripples through the gym foundation.
*THUMP.*
*THUMP.*
*THUMP.*
The shockwaves vibrate the magic cores of the automatons.
The vibrations are too intense. The internal gears shatter. The bolts rattle loose.
The army of gym equipment falls apart into a pile of scrap metal.
Even the neon sign outside explodes.
Saitama stops. He isn't even winded.
"One... Two... Three. Okay, I'm warmed up."
He looks around.
The gym is destroyed.
Bang is pulling himself out of the lockers, dusting off drywall.
Zeus is standing amidst twisted metal, his Adamas form fading.
"My gym," Zeus whimpers. "My start-up capital."
Saitama walks to the front desk.
He hands the empty smoothie cup to Hermes.
"This place is too messy. I'm canceling my membership."
He turns to Bang.
"Hey, old man. You guys charge a cancellation fee?"
Bang spits out a tooth. He grins.
"For you? Free of charge. And we have tea."
Saitama nods.
"Tea sounds safer."
**The Exit.**
Saitama, Genos, and Bang walk out of the ruins of the Pantheon Gym.
Zeus is left kneeling in the rubble, holding a broken dumbbell.
"I will sue!" Zeus yells after them. "I will call the Lawyer of the Underworld!"
Genos checks his internal database.
"Master, the lawyer Hades uses charges in 'Firstborn Souls'. I believe Zeus cannot afford the litigation."
Saitama shrugs.
"Good. I don't have any souls. Or money."
They cross the street to Bang's dojo.
Saitama enters. It smells of old wood and incense.
Peaceful.
"So," Saitama asks, sitting on a mat. "How much is the smoothie here?"
Bang pours tea.
"Free. If you help Charanko clean the gutters."
Saitama thinks.
"Deal."