**Z-Valhalla Stadium (The Crater Pitch).**
**Friday. 6:30 PM.**
Since the "Serious Swing" incident (where the baseball left the solar system), the game of baseball has been banned.
Officially.
Unofficially, the Underground God-Hero Derby League thrives in the shadowy corners of District 3.
**The Venue.**
An abandoned coliseum used for Giant Gladiator fights.
The lights are dimmed. The crowd is masked. The snacks are bootleg.
**The Batter.**
Metal Bat stands at the plate. He is cracking his neck. His pompadour is freshly styled, defying physics and wind resistance.
His bat—"Indestructible"—is gripped tightly.
"Just hit the ball, right?" Metal Bat mutters. "Simple enough."
**The Machine.**
Opposite him stands the Pitcher.
It isn't a person. It isn't a god.
It is a **Jotunn Siege Engine**, repurposed by Loki for sport.
A 30-foot tall frost-cannon named "The Blizzard Launcher."
It is loaded with ice boulders the size of smart cars.
**"Target Locked,"** the machine growls in icy Norse.
The announcer (Heimdall, moonlighting in disguise with a fake mustache) screams into the mic.
"Step right up to the Home Run Derby of Death! Can the S-Class Delinquent handle the artillery of Jotunheim?!"
**Round 1.**
The machine fires.
*BOOM.*
An ice boulder screams toward the plate at 300 MPH.
Metal Bat doesn't flinch. His "Fighting Spirit" flares.
"Batter up!"
He swings.
*CRACK.*
The aluminum bat hits the ice boulder.
The ice shatters into a million diamonds.
The core of the boulder ricochets back, punching a hole in the siege engine's shielding.
"Strike One!" Metal Bat yells. "For the machine!"
The crowd roars. Valkyries cheer (they love bad boys).
"He hit the Ice Comet!" Göll squeals. "With a metal stick!"
**Round 2.**
Loki is in the control booth, grinning.
"Too easy," the Trickster God whispers. "Let's spice it up. Multi-ball."
He pulls a lever.
The Siege Engine glows blue.
It fires **Three** boulders at once.
Top, Middle, Low.
Metal Bat's eyes widen. "Cheap trick!"
He spins.
**Dragon Thrashing Swing.**
He becomes a tornado.
*Bam-Bam-Bam.*
He hits all three boulders.
They fly into the stands (luckily caught by Heracles, who is snacking on nachos).
**The Challenger.**
"Impressive swing."
A shadow steps out of the dugout.
He is tall. Skin made of granite. A club made of fossilized World Tree root rests on his shoulder.
**Thrym.** King of the Frost Giants.
"But can you hit... a Living Pitch?"
Thrym walks to the mound.
He shoves the siege machine aside.
"I will throw," Thrym declares. "The ball is me."
Thrym grabs a massive rock. He breathes ice onto it, freezing it to absolute zero.
"The Frozen World Pitch."
Metal Bat grins. The fighting spirit rises. Blood pumps. The sheer audacity of challenging a giant excites him.
"Throw it, big guy! I'll knock it into next week!"
Thrym winds up.
The air temperature drops 20 degrees.
He throws.
The rock doesn't just fly; it creates a blizzard in its wake. A tunnel of ice freezing the air around it.
Metal Bat steps in.
"FIGHTING SPIRIT... MAX!"
He swings with everything he has.
**Savage Tornado!**
*IMPACT.*
Bat meets Frozen World.
The collision creates a sonic boom that deafens the first three rows.
The bat bends.
The rock cracks.
"GRRRRAAAAAH!" Metal Bat screams, pushing back against the giant's force. "I promised my sister I'd be home for piano practice!"
The mention of his sister activates his **Sister-Con Boost**.
Power surges.
*PING.*
The rock explodes backward.
It hits Thrym in the chest. The giant flies backward, crashing through the back wall of the stadium.
"HOME RUN!" Heimdall screams, his mustache falling off.
Metal Bat drops to one knee, panting. His hands are numb. His bat is smoking.
"Safe," he wheezes. "Made it home."
**Saitama's Apartment.**
Saitama watches the illegal broadcast on King's tablet.
"He broke the wall," Saitama notes. "That's coming out of the prize pool."
Genos takes notes. "Metal Bat's kinetic transfer efficiency increases with emotional stress. Interesting mechanism."
Satan (Mr. Red) enters with a tray of cookies.
"Dessert is served. I used Hellfire to bake them perfectly crisp."
Saitama takes a cookie.
"So, who's cleaning up the stadium?"
On screen, Thrym is pulling himself out of the rubble, apologising to the cleaning crew.
"Giants have surprisingly good manners," Genos observes.
"Only when they lose," Saitama says.
He bites the cookie.
It's burnt on the bottom.
Saitama sighs.
"Next time, turn down the hellfire, Red."