**Z-Valhalla. Central Station (The Bifrost Line).**
**Monday. 8:15 AM.**
The commute is hell.
It used to be simple: salarymen squeezing into metal tubes.
Now, it is a logistical nightmare.
Platform 1 is crowded.
A Valkyrie is arguing with a ticket machine that won't accept ancient hacksilver coins.
A Centaur is trying to fit into a priority seat clearly marked *"Elderly & Disabled Only (No Hooves)"*.
A mid-level river spirit is dripping water on a businessman's suit. The businessman doesn't even look up from his phone; he just opens an umbrella.
Saitama stands on the yellow line.
He wears his casual outfit: hoodie and jeans. He clutches a plastic bag containing a single, empty bento box. He is on a mission: *The All-You-Can-Stuff Lunch Buffet* (District 4). It opens at 9:00.
"Genos," Saitama mutters, staring at the digital display. "It says 'Delayed'. Why is it always delayed?"
Genos stands behind him, acting as a human(cyborg) shield against the crowd.
"Analysis, Master: A Frost Giant got his foot stuck in the tracks at Station 7. The extraction team is using flamethrowers. Delay estimated at 4 minutes."
"Four minutes?" Saitama grips the plastic bag. "I'll miss the first batch of fried shrimp."
**The Passenger.**
A massive figure pushes through the crowd.
**Hercules.**
He wears a business suit (size: XXXXXL). It is ripping at the shoulders. He carries a briefcase the size of a treasure chest.
"Excuse me! Pardon!" Hercules booms, smiling. "Worker coming through! Heading to the Hero Association Branch Office!"
He stands next to Saitama.
"Greeting, Friend Saitama! Off to work?"
"Off to lunch," Saitama corrects. "Why are you wearing a suit?"
"I have an interview!" Hercules beams. "For the 'Security Guard' position. I must prove I can integrate into society without smashing things."
*Whoosh.*
The train arrives.
It isn't a normal train. It is the **Sleipnir-Class Maglev**. Eight carriages, run on magnets and runic levitation.
The doors open.
**The Squeeze.**
War.
The crowd pushes. Humans and Demigods unite in the struggle for space.
"Push!" Hercules yells politely. He uses his Nemean Lion strength to gently shove fifty people inside.
Saitama gets squished against the glass door.
His face is pressed against a goblin's backpack.
"Tight," Saitama wheezes.
The doors slide shut.
*ding-dong.*
*"Next stop: Yggdrasil Root / Business District. Please mind the inter-dimensional gap."*
**The Tunnel.**
The train speeds up.
It enters the **Dimensional Tunnel** connecting District Z to District Valhalla.
Outside the windows, reality blurs. Colors swirl. Cosmic horrors wave as the train passes.
Suddenly.
*SCREEECH.*
The emergency brakes slam on.
Commuters go flying.
Hercules catches a falling old lady. "Steady, grandmother!"
Saitama doesn't move (inertia doesn't apply to him). He just bumps into the goblin.
"We stopped," Saitama says. The dead-fish eyes narrow. "Is this the Giant again?"
Genos connects to the train's wifi.
"Negative, Master. Sensors indicate a biological obstruction wrapped around the track. Threat Level: Demon."
**The Intruder.**
The train shakes. The metal roof buckles.
A claw tears through the ceiling of Car 4.
Commuters scream.
A head descends. It looks like a giant, subway-tunnel worm made of rust and graffiti.
**The Delay Wyrm.** (Born from the collective rage of late passengers).
**"TRAIN... LATE..."** The monster hisses. **"ALL... LATE..."**
It grabs a businessman. It eats his briefcase.
"My spreadsheets!" the man cries.
"Villainy!" Hercules shouts. "In the Quiet Car?!"
Hercules rips off his suit jacket (revealing his classic loincloth underneath because old habits die hard).
"I shall dispose of this pest!"
Hercules charges.
"Fourth Labor: Boar Charge!"
He tackles the worm's head.
*SLAM.*
The impact shakes the train off the magnetic rails. The car tilts dangerously.
"Don't break the train!" the conductor screams over the intercom.
Hercules wrestles the worm. He puts it in a headlock.
"Yield, creature of transit delay!"
The worm screeches. Its tail wraps around the train carriage, crushing it.
**"CRUSH... THE... SCHEDULE!"**
Saitama checks his watch.
8:45 AM.
Fifteen minutes to Shrimp.
He looks at the worm crushing the car.
He looks at Hercules causing massive property damage in a tuxedo shirt.
"Hey."
Saitama taps the worm on its slimy flank.
The worm looks down (as much as a worm can).
**"LATE..."**
"You're making traffic worse," Saitama says.
**Normal Punch: Commuter Edition.**
Saitama punches the worm.
But he punches it *out* the hole it made in the roof.
The impact is precise. It ejects the monster from the tunnel, sending it flying into the dimensional void outside.
*POP.*
The monster vanishes into the swirl of colors.
However.
The force of the punch also hit the air behind the worm.
And the air pushed the train.
Hard.
*VROOOM.*
The train rockets forward.
The magnetic clamps shatter. The runes overload.
The train goes from 100 mph to Mach 2 instantly.
Commuters are plastered against the back walls.
Genos magnetizes his feet to the floor. "G-force exceeded safe parameters! Master, you have engaged Turbo Mode!"
Saitama stands comfortably in the center, checking the lunch menu on his phone.
"We're making up for lost time."
**The Arrival.**
The train exits the tunnel at the Central Station.
It doesn't stop at the platform. It creates a new platform.
The brakes scream.
Sparks fly.
The train skids through the station, through the ticket barrier, and stops exactly one inch from the turnstile.
Smoke rises from the wheels.
The doors chime.
*ding-dong.*
*"We have arrived at... roughly where we need to be."*
Hercules stumbles out, his suit in tatters.
"A glorious commute!" Hercules laughs, though he looks a bit green. "Much more exciting than a chariot!"
Saitama steps out.
He checks his watch.
8:55 AM.
"Five minutes early," Saitama nods. "Perfect."
**The Twist.**
He walks up to the **All-You-Can-Stuff Lunch Buffet**.
The sign in the window is flipped.
**CLOSED.**
*Reason: Chef ascended to Nirvana unexpectedly. Gone fishing.*
Saitama stares at the sign.
The breeze blows a single leaf past his boots.
"He ascended?" Saitama whispers. "During the lunch rush?"
Hercules pats Saitama's shoulder.
"Do not worry, friend! I brought a protein bar! We can share!"
Saitama looks at the dry, chalky protein bar.
He looks at his empty bento box.
The colors fade to gray.
"Genos," Saitama says quietly.
"Yes, Master?"
"Let's go to the convenience store. I'm craving a corn dog."