**Z-Valhalla. Residential Sector 4.**
**Monday. 2:00 PM.**
Heat.
Oppressive, heavy, physical heat.
The kind of heat that doesn't just warm the skin—it boils the hope in the blood.
Temperature: 45°C (113°F).
Saitama lies spread-eagle on the tatami mats. He is wearing only his boxers. His skin glistens. He looks like a raw chicken breast left in the sun.
"Genos," Saitama croaks. His voice is dry. "Status report on the AC."
Genos stands by the wall unit. He has disassembled the casing. His internal fans are spinning at 4000 RPM, sounding like a jet engine.
"Diagnostic complete, Master. The condenser unit has fused. The sheer ambient temperature of Z-Valhalla, caused by the friction of merged realities, exceeds the operational limits of this generic brand appliance."
"It's dead?" Saitama asks.
"It is deceased, Master."
Saitama closes his eyes. A single tear rolls down his cheek, evaporating before it hits the floor.
"I bought that AC used. It had a warranty."
In the kitchen, Satan (Mr. Red) is leaning into the open freezer.
"I am a creature of Hell," Satan hisses, steam rising from his horns. "And even I find this unacceptable. The humidity... it frizzes my aura."
"Can't you do something?" Saitama asks. "You have ice magic, right? Freezing Hell?"
"That is Dante's interpretation!" Satan snaps. "My domain is fire! I am only adding to the problem by existing!"
**Sector 9. The Magma Pools.**
This used to be the Z-City Lake.
Now, it is a boiling cauldron where the fire runoff from Muspelheim mixes with toxic waste.
Beelzebub stands on the shore. He holds a clipboard. He wears a hazmat suit over his priest robes.
"Experiment 66," Beelzebub notes. "The adaptation of biology to extreme entropy."
The surface of the boiling lake ripples.
Bubbles burst, releasing green sulfur gas.
Something rises.
It isn't a single organism. It is a colony. Billions of microscopic heat-eating bacteria fused into a macro-structure.
It looks like a jellyfish made of lava and anger.
**Thermal Plankton King.** (Threat Level: Dragon).
**Core Temp:** 5,000°C.
**"WARM,"** the entity burbles. **"NEED... HOTTER."**
It expands. It radiates a thermal wave that sets the trees on the shoreline onto fire instantly. The asphalt of the nearby road turns into black soup.
**The Intervention.**
A figure lands on the melting asphalt.
**Jack the Ripper.**
The serial killer adjusts his top hat. He is sweating, but his composure is chilling.
"My, my," Jack whispers, swirling a cup of iced tea that is rapidly boiling. "You are running quite the fever, sir."
**"BURN,"** the Plankton King roars. It shoots a beam of concentrated heat.
Jack sidesteps. His movement is a waltz.
"Divine Tool: Gloves."
He touches a building next to him.
**Volund Ability: Anything he touches becomes a Divine Weapon.**
He touches the air itself.
The heat waves solidify into a blade of warped atmosphere.
"Air Cutter."
Jack swings.
The heat-blade slices into the magma jellyfish.
*HISSS.*
The monster splits.
But fluid does not die when cut. The two halves reform instantly. They boil harder.
"Physical attacks ineffective," Jack notes, dodging a splash of lava. "Disappointing."
A blue flash.
**Poseidon** arrives.
The God of the Sea hates the heat. It evaporates his domain.
He stands on a pillar of water drawn from a fire hydrant.
"Scum," Poseidon says. The word creates a chill. "You boil my ocean. You insult perfection."
**Amphitrite.**
Poseidon thrusts his trident.
The attack is usually a barrage of water.
But there is no water. It evaporated.
The trident strikes empty air.
*Click-click-click.*
"What?" Poseidon's eyes widen. "My medium... is gone?"
The Plankton King glows brighter. It feeds on the energy exerted by the gods.
**"YES! FEED ME KINETIC ENERGY! THE HEAT RISES!"**
The monster expands. It grows to the size of a cloud.
A **Heat Dome** forms over the district.
The temperature spikes to 60°C.
Glass windows in the skyscrapers begin to melt. Car tires explode.
***
**Saitama's Apartment.**
*CRACK.*
Saitama hears the sound.
He looks at his refrigerator.
The seal on the freezer door warps. The plastic melts.
The door falls off.
Inside, the pint of "Discount Vanilla Ice Cream" (his reward for the day) drips onto the floor. It is no longer ice cream. It is vanilla soup.
Saitama sits up.
The lethargy vanishes.
The veins on his neck stand out like steel cables.
His eyes shadow over.
"Genos."
"Yes, Master?"
"Who turned up the thermostat?"
Genos checks his sensors.
"Atmospheric anomaly detected in Sector 9. A localized greenhouse effect caused by a biological thermal reactor. If it continues, spontaneous combustion of the city is 98% likely within 4 minutes."
"It melted my ice cream," Saitama whispers.
He stands.
The floorboards char under his feet.
"Red. Guard the soup."
Satan nods, terrified. "I will defend the puddle with my life."
Saitama walks to the balcony.
He opens the sliding door.
The wave of heat hits him. It's like opening an oven to check a turkey.
"Annoying."
**The Jump.**
Saitama crouches.
He launches.
*BOOM.*
The apartment building shifts three inches backward from the recoil.
Saitama creates a vacuum tunnel through the superheated air.
**Sector 9.**
Poseidon is backed into a corner. He is dry. Dehydrated. A god of water without moisture.
Jack the Ripper is hiding behind a melted bus stop, his coat singed.
The Plankton King dominates the sky, a sun hanging ten feet off the ground.
**"BURN! EVERYTHING MUST BE ASH!"**
Saitama arrives.
He passes through the heat dome.
His clothes singe. His cape catches fire. He pats it out annoyed.
"Hey. Torch-face."
The monster pauses. **"FUEL?"**
Saitama floats (due to momentum) in front of the creature.
"You're making it sticky. I hate sticky heat."
The Plankton King senses the energy. The vast, infinite kinetic potential inside the bald man.
**"YES! ENERGY! GIVE ME YOUR MOTION! I WILL CONSUME THE FRICTION!"**
The monster tries to engulf Saitama.
"Heat requires friction!" the monster explains (it's a chatty science-based monster). "The harder you punch, the hotter I get! Physics is my ally!"
Saitama lands on a rock. The rock turns to lava.
He sinks slightly.
"Friction, huh?" Saitama looks at his fist.
He understands (sort of).
Punching creates heat.
So... don't punch.
He takes a deep breath.
The hot air sears his lungs. He ignores it.
"Serious Move."
The gods watch. Poseidon narrows his eyes. *What will the anomaly do? Fight heat with heat?*
Saitama brings his hands to his sides.
He doesn't make fists. He flattens his palms.
He begins to spin.
Not his body. Just his arms.
Like a propeller.
**Serious Series: Serious Fan.**
He spins his arms faster than light.
Faster than electrons orbit a nucleus.
He creates a wind tunnel.
But the sheer velocity creates a pressure drop so severe that it reverses the thermodynamic state of the immediate area.
He rips the heat out of the air and flings it into the stratosphere.
*WHIRRRRRRRR.*
The sound is deafening.
A tornado forms—a **Cold Front** generated by sheer displacement.
The temperature plummets.
60°C... 40°C... 10°C... -20°C.
The Thermal Plankton King screams.
**"NO! I NEED ENTROPY! I NEED CHAOS! THIS IS ORDER!"**
The cold wind hits the magma monster.
Magma freezes. It turns into obsidian instantly.
The creature solidifies in mid-air. A statue of black volcanic glass caught in a silent scream.
*CRACK.*
Gravity takes over. The statue falls.
It hits the ground and shatters into a million pieces of harmless, cold gravel.
Saitama stops spinning his arms.
Steam rises from his shoulders.
He exhales.
A puff of frost comes out.
Snow begins to fall.
Not natural snow. Frozen humidity from the monster's body.
It blankets the burning city in white powder.
Poseidon shivers. "Cold..." he whispers.
Water returns to the air. He summons a ball of it, drinks it, and looks perfect again immediately.
"Acceptable," the God sniffs.
Jack the Ripper catches a snowflake.
"From Hell to the Arctic in three seconds. His color... it is White now. Absolute Zero White."
**Saitama's Apartment.**
Saitama walks back in.
He is covered in snow.
The room is freezing.
Genos is still standing by the melted ice cream.
"Master," Genos says. "Ambient temperature is now -5°C. The ice cream has refrozen."
Saitama looks at the puddle on the floor. It is now a vanilla ice sheet.
He grabs a spoon.
He scrapes a bit of the frozen floor-ice-cream.
He eats it.
"Tastes like floor cleaner," Saitama mutters. "And vanilla."
He eats another spoonful.
"Whatever. It's cold."
Satan wraps himself in a blanket.
"You fixed it too hard," Satan complains, teeth chattering. "Now we need the heater."
Saitama glares at him.
"We can't afford the heater. Do some jumping jacks."
Outside, in the new winter wonderland of Z-City, Thor is building a snowman in the shape of Lu Bu.
The world is broken, fused, and confused.
But at least the humidity is gone.