**Space. Sector X-99 (The Edge of the Canvas).**
**Wednesday. 11:42 PM.**
There are no stars here. No nebulas. No comets.
Just the raw white background of the unwritten page.
A ship drifts here. It doesn't use fuel. It uses Plot Convenience.
Inside sits **Blast**.
He is monitoring a terminal that displays the multiverse as a series of oscillating wavelengths.
"Waveform stability: 12%," Blast mutters, sipping a cosmic protein shake. "The merger wasn't a clean splice. It's fraying."
The screen flickers.
A new signal appears. Not red (threat). Not green (ally).
It is *Blue*. The color of hypertext. The color of Meta.
**"The Eraser failed,"** a digital voice synthesizes through the speakers. **"The Void failed. The Writer quit."**
Blast leans back. "Yeah. We handle things differently around here. We punch the problems until they stop being problems."
**"But,"** the voice continues. **"If the characters become too strong... the medium collapses. The genre breaks. It stops being a Shonen. It becomes a Slice of Life."**
Blast smirks.
"Is that bad? The ratings for 'Saitama Goes Shopping' are through the roof."
The signal strengthens.
**"We are initializing the final correction. Prepare for Genre Shift."**
***
**Z-Valhalla. Apartment Unit 202.**
**Thursday. 9:00 AM.**
Saitama is eating cereal.
Genos is vacuuming.
Satan is crying while chopping chilies.
"Saitama!" King bursts into the room. He looks panicked. He is holding a romance manga.
"Something is wrong with the world!"
"What?" Saitama asks, milk dripping from his chin. "Did they cancel the discount day?"
"No! Look outside!"
Saitama walks to the balcony.
He expects monsters. He expects invasions.
Instead, he sees... cherry blossoms.
Everywhere. Even growing out of concrete.
The sky is a soft, pastel pink. Sparkles float in the air.
A handsome boy runs by with toast in his mouth, colliding with a beautiful girl on the corner. They fall in slow motion, encircled by roses.
"What is this?" Saitama squints. "It looks... shoujo."
Genos scans the area.
"Master. Atmospheric composition has altered. The air contains high concentrations of pheromones and... drama."
Genos looks at his own hand. It has become slender. More delicate. His eyes are now 30% larger and wetter.
"My aesthetics have been yassified."
**The Transformation.**
Thor walks down the street.
He isn't the muscle-bound Thunder God.
He is wearing a school uniform. His muscles are gone, replaced by the lean, moody physique of a tragic love interest. He leans against a wall, hair blowing in a wind that only affects him.
"This hammer," Thor sighs, holding a miniaturized, cute Mjolnir charm on his bag. "It is heavy... with the weight of my secret heart."
Brunhilde runs past, blushing. "Thor-senpai noticed me!"
Saitama recoils. "Gross. Everyone is acting weird."
Satan (Mr. Red) steps out of the kitchen.
He is no longer a devil in a suit. He is a "Bad Boy Transfer Student" with untucked shirt and mysterious eyepatch.
"Whatever," Satan says, brooding. "Life is pain. Pass the milk."
Saitama looks in the mirror.
His bald head... is shining with sparkles. His eyes have lashes.
"NO!" Saitama screams. "I don't want to be beautiful! I want to be nondescript!"
**The Threat: The Heart-Throb Titan.**
From the pastel clouds descends the boss.
**Cupid (Ascended Form).**
A giant baby with golden wings and a bow that fires literal 'shipping beams'.
**"I AM THE LOVE GURU!"** Cupid booms, his voice echoing with reverb. **"I WILL PAIR EVERYONE! NO ONE SHALL BE SINGLE!"**
He fires an arrow.
It hits a stray cat and a pigeon.
They look at each other. Careless Whisper plays in the background. They elope.
"This is disgusting," Saitama gags.
Cupid spots Saitama.
**"The Anomaly! You are un-paired! Your romance arc is nonexistent!"**
Cupid draws a massive, heart-shaped arrow.
**"I will pair you with... THE PLOT!"**
"Pair me with what?" Saitama asks.
**"With DRAMA! With ANGST! With A LOVE TRIANGLE!"**
Cupid fires.
The arrow—The Arrow of Main Character Syndrome—flies at Saitama.
"Genos! Do something!"
Genos tries to charge his cannon. But instead of fire, rose petals shoot out.
"Master! My incineration capabilities have been replaced by Flower Power!"
Saitama sighs.
"I hate romance genres. Too much talking. Not enough punching."
The arrow approaches.
Saitama catches it.
With two fingers (delicately).
**"Impossible!"** Cupid gasps, tears forming in his giant eyes. **"He rejected the ship! He sank the canon!"**
Saitama snaps the arrow.
The magic sparkles fade.
The world flickers. The pink sky tears. The Slice of Life genre is rejecting him.
"I just want..."
Saitama clenches his fist.
The sparkles around him burn away. The rugged, badly drawn sketch lines return.
"...Action."
**Serious Series: Serious Reality Check.**
He punches the air.
Not space. The *vibe*.
He punches the concept of Romance.
*SHATTER.*
The pastel world breaks like glass.
The cherry blossoms turn back into trash.
Thor's muscles return (ripping his school uniform instantly). "What? Why was I wearing a skirt?"
Brunhilde stops blushing and draws her sword. "Did I just say 'Senpai'? Ew."
Cupid falls from the sky, shrinking back to a normal cherub size.
He lands in a dumpster.
**"You... you ruined the mood..."** Cupid whimpers.
Saitama stands on the balcony. He is bald again. His eyes are dead fish again.
"Good," Saitama says. "Drama gives me a headache."
**Space.**
Blast watches his screen.
The blue signal—the Genre Shift—vanishes.
Replaced by the standard, chaotic red of Shonen Jump.
"He rejected it," Blast laughs. "He brute-forced his way back to his own genre."
The digital voice sighs.
**"Correction failed. The Anomaly refuses character development."**
Blast turns off the screen.
"That *is* his character development."
**Z-City.**
Saitama sits back down at the table.
His cereal is soggy.
"Man. First robots, now love gods. Can I just finish breakfast?"
Genos walks in, fully weaponized again. "Master. I have detected a clearance sale on Cabbage. It starts in 10 minutes."
Saitama's eyes light up. Real passion returns.
"Why didn't you say so?!"
Saitama jumps off the balcony.
Genos follows.
Satan and King watch them go.
"He runs faster for vegetables than he does for the fate of the world," King notes.
"That," Satan smiles, stirring his curry, "is why he is terrifying."