"The traitors will be taken for questioning! I never had any doubts in the first place that you were the destined hero."
The King clasped Kaizen's shoulder with a gentle, sweaty smile.
'No doubts my ass! This guy is trembling so hard he's vibrating.'
Kaizen knew this behavior. He had a PhD in it. This was the "Submission Response." It was the evolutionary reflex of a prey animal realizing it was locked in a cage with a predator.
In the old days, Kaizen was the one doing the trembling. He used to try to appease his bullies with lunch money, completed homework, and forced laughter even when they were roasting him alive.
He never talked back. He never fought back. He just wanted the pain to stop. But the pain never stopped; it just changed management. The weak always suffered, no matter who sat on the throne.
So one day, Kaizen decided that if the system was rigged, he was going to be the one rigging it. He spent years training, enduring, and curating his personality by stealing the worst traits of every bully he ever met.
He didn't want to be a hero. He wanted to be the top of the food chain.
And looking at this King, Kaizen realized he was already at the top. This guy was a King in name only. A decorative ornament with a crown.
Seeing the harsh, judging look in Kaizen's eyes, the King cleared his throat nervously.
"Cough, cough. I-if my wife—the Queen—was here, then nothing like this would have happened, dear Hero."
"Oh? And why is that, my King?"
"Well, you see, like you, she is also a Light User. And she is a powerful Mage at that. But well... she wasn't interested in attending this ceremony."
'A powerful female Light Mage who ignores her husband? Interesting. Sounds like a challenge of a MILF.'
Kaizen was about to ask for the Queen's measurements when a shrill voice cut through the air.
"You took your time!"
Princess Seraphina stormed over, her face flushed with a mixture of grief and rage. She pointed a trembling finger at Kaizen's chest.
"If you are so powerful, why did you wait?! You could have saved Arthur! You could have stopped that blade if you weren't so busy posing and... and jiggling!"
Kaizen stared at her. He blinked slowly.
'This bitch!'
He had just saved her kingdom. He had just turned three assassins into pavement art. And this is the thanks he gets? She was barking at the only person in the room who wasn't useless.
He looked at her tear-streaked face and the way her dress heaved with her indignation. He didn't feel pity. He felt annoyed.
'I save her ass and she wants to lecture me on timing? Note to self: Break her spirit first. Make her beg. Slavery is too good for this entitlement.'
He was about to tell her exactly where she could shove her opinion when Arthur, who was being tended to by a frantic group of healers, raised a weak hand.
"Princess... please. Do not blame him..."
Arthur groaned, trying to smile heroically despite the fact that his eyes were sizzling like fried eggs.
"It was my own lack of skill. Besides... it is just a flesh wound. A little healing magic and I will be back on the front lines."
Arthur tried to look gallant, turning his head toward where he thought the Princess was standing. He was actually talking to a potted plant.
"Do not worry, citizens! Justice has been served! My sight is a small price to pay!"
The room went quiet. Everyone looked at the Elf Healer kneeling beside him. She was a stunning creature with emerald hair and a chest that defied gravity, but her expression was grim.
"Um... actually, no."
Arthur froze.
"Mmm-What?"
"That wasn't normal steel. That was a Cursed Blade imbued with dark magic. It destroys nerve endings on contact. No magic in this world can regenerate that tissue."
The silence in the room became suffocating.
"So..." Arthur's voice trembled. "You mean..."
"I mean you're blind," the Elf said bluntly. "Permanently. You're done. Game over. You might want to invest in a seeing-eye dog."
Arthur's heroic smile crumbled. The King paled. The Princess let out a horrified sob.
Kaizen just stuffed his hands into his pockets and had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing out loud.
"Is there nothing? A spell? A miracle? A coupon for a resurrection?"
Seraphina hovered over Arthur's sweating body, her hands fluttering like anxious moths.
The Elf Healer recoiled, adjusting her glasses nervously.
"Well... technically, a Legendary Grade Potion creates a total status reset. It negates all dark magic, no matter how nasty."
"Brew it! We have everything we needed in the castle!"
"I don't have the recipe, Princess. But the Queen does."
The Elf lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper.
"Back when Her Majesty was a novice summon, before she retired to a life of banquets, she took a nasty curse to the chest. Her old adventure party went on a massive fetch quest to save her. They gathered rare herbs, dragon kidneys, the works."
Seraphina spun around, eyes blazing with hope.
"Father! You were there! What are the ingredients?"
King Aldric picked at a hangnail, looking completely unbothered by the potential death of the Realm's savior.
"Eh... honestly? I wasn't really paying attention back then. I think I was organizing my sock drawer that year. Hero stuff gives me a headache. Too much running, not enough napping."
Kaizen rubbed his temples. No mystery why the Queen skipped this event. She was probably upstairs drinking wine to forget she married this human equivalent of a wet blanket.
"I'll ask her myself!"
Seraphina threw herself onto Arthur's chest, sobbing into his armor like a widow in a soap opera.
"Hold on, Arthur! I will scour the earth for you! I won't let you die!"
Kaizen stared, genuinely baffled.
'Are you serious?'
They met literally twelve minutes ago. She didn't even know the guy's favorite color, yet she was clinging to him like they'd been married for a decade.
The plot armor on this guy was ridiculous. It was physically painful to watch.
"Stay with him! Don't let him expire!"
Seraphina barked at the flustered maids, then hitched up her skirts and bolted toward the heavy oak doors.
Kaizen's annoyance evaporated the second she turned around.
The heavy silk of her gown struggled to contain the violent, rhythmic bounce of her ass as she ran. Left, right, left, right. It was mesmerizing. The fabric pulled tight, outlining the deep cleft between those heavy cheeks. In his head, the dress dissolved.
He pictured those pristine, royal cheeks spread wide, trembling and flushed pink as he drove into her from behind, her desperate cries echoing off the—
"An impressive display." King Aldric clapped a hand on Kaizen's shoulder, snapping him out of the fantasy.
"Indeed impressive, my majesty. Slurp~"
"Eh! What? Anyways, a Light Mage of your magnitude? We haven't seen that in centuries. Definitely an upgrade from the usual lot."
"Your Majesty?"
A servant poked his head up from the side of the altar, looking green. He pointed a trembling finger at the charred, twisted lump of meat that used to be the hero Hiya.
"Uh... the other one. He's sort of... leaking on the carpet. What should we do?"
Aldric glanced at the corpse with the same enthusiasm one gives a dead pigeon on the sidewalk.
"Tragic. Just... bury him properly. Somewhere nice. Poor kid. Fate snatched him away before he could even show us a card trick."
"Indeed."
Kaizen chuckled, a dark, jagged sound low in his throat. He flexed his fingers, feeling the hum of the stolen power coursing through his veins.
"Fate decided to get her hands dirty this time."