Sebastian heard the familiar voice coming from one of the apartments above him and his mood became even worse.
"Not anything important, Mat" he answered in a monotone voice as he kept digging the hole with his hands.
"Then what are you doing out there? You never go out to the yard, and why are you on your knees?"
"I'm not doing anything, Mat. And please stop shouting, I 'm sure everyone in the building can hear you."
"You're clearly doing something, you aren't even trying to hide it. I'm coming down there."
Sebastian closed his eyes with an irritated look on his face and sighed, then kept digging without answering.
"Why are you digging a hole, did you finally lose your mind or something?" Said Matthew as he walked up to Sebastian.
"Look, I had this bird and it died. I'm burying it here" Answered Sebastian.
"A bird? How did it die?"
"I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know?"
"It just died when I tried feeding it today."
"Where did you even find it?"
"On my way back home."
"Did you check to see if it was hurt or sick?"
Sebastian stopped digging, thought for a moment and slammed his fist on the ground.
"No." He answered
"It must've been sick when you found it or gotten sick when you kept it. You should really pay more attention to things like these."
"I know." Said Sebastian as he resumed digging.
"Do you need help with that hole?" Said Matthew in a slightly calmer voice.
"I'm almost done. Thank you though"
Sebastian finished the digging, took the bird out of its box then placed it in the newly made grave. He thought of checking the corpse for wounds but figured it wasn't worth the effort.
After placing the bird inside, he quickly covered it up with dirt and waited for a moment, not noticing Matthew still standing behind him.
"Are you okay?" Asked Matthew.
But Sebastian, without answering, stood up and walked out of the yard. Instead of heading back to his apartment, he decided to take a walk to clear his mind.
Matthew stood confused as to what had just happened. He knew Sebastian rarely left his apartment if he didn't have to work, and now he was taking a walk.
Even though he was worried about his friend, he noticed he seemed mad and thought it would be best to not bother him and went back up the stairs.
Sebastian started walking without any idea where he was going, it was as if his body moved on its own while he was lost in thought.
While he walked, he felt incredibly mad at himself, he thought of Matthew's words, about how the bird might've been sick and he hadn't even noticed it.
All the while he cursed at himself in his own mind. "You're worthless." "A moron who can't think about anything but himself." "Bruno died because of you." "You were so lost in your fantasy that you couldn't even see what was right in front of you." "You're pathetic."
His mind kept racing into memories that would never be of him and his pet still living together. He knew the bird wouldn't stay forever, but having that source of happiness leave so soon made him feel as if a right he had was stripped away from him.
He felt angry, at himself, who couldn't help the poor animal, at the world, for taking it away from him and slightly at Matthew, for pointing out his failures. He knew Matthew had no involvement in this but he couldn't help but feel some resentment either way.
Sebastian was still lost in his own world when, for some reason, he looked up and saw that he was somewhere he didn't recognize.
He hadn't realized it yet but he walked for hours while in his trance and ended up in a desolate field.
The field was completely empty, not a single soul aside from him was remotely close to that stretch of land.
He tried to locate himself but he simply couldn't. He couldn't see the city's buildings either, so he came to the conclusion that he was lost.
After realizing this, he grabbed his phone to use his GPS, however he seemed to have no signal where he was.
He was confused as to where he was and jokingly said to himself that maybe the field appeared out of thin air to try and keep himself calm.
That joke seemed to calm him down enough to lose himself in thought again. He wasn't in a hurry to go back home, nothing was waiting for him there anyway. So he kept walking until he walked straight into a tree.
It was the only tree in that entire field.
Hitting himself with a tree knocked Sebastian out of his trance once more and instead of continuing his walk, he sat down next to the tree.
"My legs are killing me" he muttered, then he looked out into the sunset.
He was distraught by seeing it. The thoughts carried were too much for him at that moment, and combined the fact that he was lost was too much for his already weakened self to handle, so buried his head in his knees and tried to shut off his mind.
"Look at where you are." "You're lost." "You can't even keep yourself safe." He thought to himself despite trying his best to ignore it.
He felt his body grow heavy, like a water balloon being filled, his entire body was filled with dread and anguish. It was too much for him to bear, then he started to cry for the second time that day.
A few minutes passed as he was sobbing to himself when he heard a faint thud on the ground next to him.
Sebastian stopped crying, took his head out of his knees and looked at the thing that had just fallen.
It was an apple, the only fruit that the tree had, and it had fallen right next to him.
It had an unnatural shade of red and almost looked like it was glowing when put by the sun's fading light.
He pensively looked at the apple and his thoughts went back to his deceased pet and how he would always buy apples for it to eat.
He laughed a little as his eyes welled up with tears again.
Then, the anguish that flooded his body was slowly replaced with melancholy as he kept staring at the fallen fruit.
He thought to himself for a moment, picked it up and stared back into the sunset with the fruit held tightly in his right hand.
As what he thought would be a proper final sendoff to the little bird, he took a bite out of the apple.
"I'm really going to miss you Bruno" he thought to himself as he put the fruit, now with a chunk of it missing, back on the ground where it stood before.
Right after putting the fruit down, Sebastian felt sick, truly sick. He stood up from where he was and started holding on to the tree for dear life as if it were going to save him.
In an instant he felt his body heat up like the deepest pit of hell. He felt as if he had spun around a thousand times in a fraction of a second, his vision faded to black, came back, and faded again. He felt every cell of his body screaming in agony as he struggled to keep his grip on the tree. He felt his ears seal shut, so much so that he couldn't even hear himself scream in pain at the top of his lungs.
"What the hell is happening to me?" He screamed, barely conscious and still not able to hear himself. He truly believed in that moment, he was definitely going to die.
As he screamed, Sebastian's vision faded to black one final time, then he fell unconscious to the ground.