"Excuse me! I'd like an octopus, please!"
"Certainly! We just got a great batch in. Which one would you like?"
"I'll take that one—the one with the vibrant color and smooth texture."
"Good eye, kid! You really know your stuff. Here you go!"
What am I even doing here? I wondered as I stood in the fish market, watching my fighting buddy inspect an octopus with excessive care.
For the record, he planned to use this octopus to harass and provoke Koro-sensei.
Honestly, it seemed like a waste of money and food. If the goal was just to annoy him, wouldn't it have been more effective to buy a rotting one instead of this fresh catch?
"What a great find! I finally got it. There were so many good options I actually had a hard time choosing."
"...Is that all?"
"What's wrong, Nozaki? Are you hungry?"
"Someone woke me up with an annoying phone call and dragged me to a morning market against my will. What do you expect?"
"I see, I see. Do you want a piece of octopus? It's completely raw, though."
"I can't stand octopus."
"Too bad!"
"Why an octopus, anyway? And why did we come all this way for it?"
"Heh. To mess with him, obviously. The secret to a successful provocation is never skimping on time or effort."
"Right. I get it."
I shook my head at this friend of mine, a guy who always moved at his own pace.
The red-haired boy walking beside me was Karma Akabane. Though his name is written with the character for "work," it is pronounced "Karma." He was one of the few people I could actually call a "friend" in this class, despite my well-known reputation as a loner.
Well, let's just overlook the fact that our first meeting was disastrous.
As for why I was at a morning market with him, it all went back to yesterday, right after fifth period—specifically, the moment he first met Koro-sensei after returning from his suspension.
●○●○●
"Karasuma-sensei is a bit scary, but he's really handsome!"
"You're right! I wonder if he'd pat my head if I managed to stab him with a knife!"
I walked down the hallway toward the classroom, listening to the girls talk about Karasuma-sensei with admiration. I silently agreed with them without saying a word.
As we walked, leaving Karasuma-sensei behind to deal with Koro-sensei's usual antics, we spotted someone at the top of the stone stairs—the same spot where Sugino had once sat in frustration. It was a familiar red-haired boy with a distinct, defiant smirk.
"Karma-kun... you're back."
Nagisa whispered in surprise; he was the first to notice him.
"Hey, Nagisa! It's been a while!"
I was surprised to see Karma smiling so warmly. I didn't know they were acquainted. They went to the same school, so it wasn't impossible, but it was still unexpected.
Nagisa, who looked like a small, harmless animal, and Karma, the literal embodiment of a predator—from the outside, they didn't seem to have any chemistry at all.
"Oh, Nozaki! Long time no see."
"Yeah, it's been a while."
I gave him a brief reply since I knew him well.
So, his suspension ended today. I had completely forgotten.
"Wow, so that's the famous Koro-sensei? Amazing, he really does look like an octopus!"
He looked at Koro-sensei with the face of a child who had just received a shiny new toy. Then, losing interest in us, he stepped toward the teacher with an air of casual friendliness.
As I watched him walk away, Nagisa, Kayano, Sugino, Isogai, Maehara, Kataoka, and Okano approached me.
"Karma... was his suspension over yesterday?"
"That problem child is back."
"Problem child? Nagisa, you seem to know him, but what kind of person is he? I haven't been in Class E long enough to know..."
"Yeah, I was in the same class as Karma-kun during our first and second years. He was sent to Class E because of bad behavior. In his second year, he was suspended after a series of violent incidents. People like that end up in Class E, too."
"So, he's like Nozaki?"
"You could say that. Although his grades are far better than mine."
Even though Kayano used me as a comparison, the truth was that half the reasons Karma ended up here were identical to mine.
He hit a teacher.
He always had a short fuse and a penchant for fighting, but based on his own values, he had decided his teacher was worthless and acted accordingly.
That was about all I knew about him.
"What about you, Nozaki? How do you know Karma?"
"You could say we're fighting buddies, or maybe he's my "fighting master"..."
"Y-your fighting master?"
"It was back in the summer of our second year, I think. I was out shopping when some students from another school harassed me and a fight broke out. I was getting beaten pretty badly when Karma showed up and saved me. Nothing special happened then; I just thanked him, and that was it."
"That sounds like the beginning of a delinquent manga!"
"I'm surprised you were the one getting beaten up, Nozaki."
"I was a top student back then. I didn't know the first thing about fighting."
"Then how did he become your master?"
"I got harassed again another time, and Karma just happened to be there."
"Don't you get picked on way too often?"
I really was a target back then. The thugs claimed they didn't like the way I looked at them.
Since I hated violence, I tried to laugh it off and play nice, but that only provoked them more, making me a one-sided punching bag.
It was during one of those moments, while I was curled up on the ground taking hits, that Karma stepped in.
"Maybe those delinquents had their reasons; I don't know. Anyway, when you get picked on constantly, you eventually get fed up. You get angry. I started hitting back... and over time, everyone started labeling me as a delinquent too."
"No way... we always thought you were the one throwing the first punch!"
"Well, that's not entirely wrong now. Once I started being treated like a delinquent, I stopped waiting for them to attack. I'd threaten them before they even raised a hand, and if they didn't back off, I'd strike first."
Come to think of it, no one had harassed me on the streets lately. Even the thugs hanging out in front of convenience stores or the guys blocking the sidewalk would move aside as soon as I walked by.
When I asked them why they had changed, they would just bow their heads and apologize profusely. Thanks to that, I'd been living in peace for a while.
"Anyway, during those fights, I'd run into Karma every now and then. Delinquents would harass me, asking if I was "one of Akabane's guys" or saying "this kid is from the same middle school as Akabane," so connecting with him was inevitable. When we actually talked, we hit it off surprisingly well and became friends."
"It's rare to hear you call someone a "friend" so clearly."
"Well, I'm sincerely grateful to him for saving me back then."
"I see."
By the way, Karma never officially agreed to be called my "master." It was just that when I decided to fight back for the first time, I tried to imitate his moves.
If I actually dared to call him "Master," he'd probably mock me, saying,
"What's this, Nozaki-kun? Do you have Chuunibyou?"
.
While I was reminiscing about how I met my friend, it seemed Karma and Koro-sensei had finished their first encounter.
"Heh. You really are fast, and this knife actually works? It looks like a toy, so I had my doubts."
One of Koro-sensei's tentacles had been destroyed.
Everyone stood in total shock at the sight.
"...Karma-kun might be the "top student" among us right now."
"What do you mean, Nagisa?"
"I mean that when it comes to the "basics" of deception and surprise attacks with weapons, Karma-kun is miles ahead of everyone else."
"That's true. If he finds an empty bottle on the ground, he'll smash it to make a weapon. If his opponent has a piece of wood, he'll snatch it and use it to hit them. In a fight, in an assassination, or even in the art of provocation, no one is better than Karma."
Koro-sensei retreated after losing a tentacle, while Karma continued to mock him with a smug, disrespectful attitude.
For students working hard on the assassination or those supporting them, Karma would be a powerful ally. Simply put, Karma hated "teachers" as a matter of principle.
We had a short history quiz during sixth period that day. Throughout the test, Karma didn't stop bothering Koro-sensei; he launched constant surprise attacks to mock him, and after finishing his answer sheet before anyone else, he swaggered out of the school and headed home early.
●○●○●
So, the morning after Karma's return and his meeting with Koro-sensei—meaning this morning—Karma's relentless calls at 5:30 AM shattered my sleep and robbed me of my life's happiest moments.
『I'm going to the morning market to buy an octopus. You're free, aren't you, Nozaki-kun? Why don't you come with me?』
『I'm not free. I'm sleeping.』
『Great, I'll wait for you in front of the station!』
After that brief exchange, he hung up on me. I can't even count how many times I yawned while getting ready for school.
Because of him, I had to skip breakfast.
"Tell me, Nozaki, have you tried to assassinate Koro-sensei?"
"A few times during PE before Karasuma-sensei took over. The general rule is no assassinations during lectures because it disrupts study, but in PE, since the goal is to move your body, physical assassinations were allowed."
"Heh... Does it seem possible to kill him?"
"Impossible. I couldn't even graze him."
"Really? If it's impossible for you, Nozaki, then it's probably impossible for me too."
"What are you talking about? You're the one who destroyed his tentacle with a direct hit."
"You managed to hit one too, didn't you? I heard it from Nagisa-kun."
"That was almost pure luck, and it was thanks to Nagisa's notes on Koro-sensei's weaknesses."
"Oh, he has something like that? I'll have to ask him to show me later."
We climbed the hill to the isolated building, carrying the octopus he had bought at the market.
By the time we reached the campus, which was about a kilometer away from the main building, school was about to start.
That morning market was a nightmare. I hadn't realized that just going there would eat up so much time.
"Oh, Karma-kun and Nozaki. Did you come together?"
"Yeah, I wanted to ask about some things regarding Koro-sensei. Good morning, everyone!"
As soon as we entered the classroom, Nagisa, one of Class E's beloved icons, greeted us. I was ninety percent sure his concern came from seeing two "delinquents" together.
After Karma gave a refreshing greeting to his classmates, he walked smoothly toward the teacher's desk, placed the octopus he had bought, and drove a knife he had pulled from somewhere right into the octopus's forehead.
It was a systematic, professional-level provocation.
Even more impressive was that, despite the seemingly random stab, he had struck the forehead with such precision that it killed the octopus instantly. Seeing its color turn white, it was clear he had dispatched it with expert skill.
He's strangely used to this kind of thing!
"What's the matter? Aren't you all going to sit down?"
Karma looked at us with a calm smile, mocking our stunned silence.
"...Let's sit down, Nagisa. If we react to every single provocation Karma makes, we'll never finish the day. It's just a waste of time."
"Right... you're right."
But man, that octopus... the smell is really pungent.
"Good morning, everyone... Ah..."
Koro-sensei arrived just as everyone was taking their seats, staring in shock at the dead octopus. The teacher frowned at Karma's prank and picked up the octopus, which had turned completely white due to the precision of the strike.
Seriously, Karma, what kind of precision do you have?
Normally, to kill an octopus quickly, you don't just stab the forehead; you have to stab the tentacles a few times too.
"Oh, I'm so sorry! I killed it by mistake, thinking it was you. Since it's dead, please take it and get rid of it."
"...Hmm."
The teacher disappeared for a second and returned the next moment, having turned the tips of his tentacles into a rapidly spinning drill that made a loud whirring sound. He was also carrying a small missile that had been hanging in the teachers' lounge as a decoration.
While we stared in shock at these unexpected items, flames erupted from the back of the missile, startling us even more.
Is that missile actually functional? It looks like it could explode at any moment with the slightest impact.
"Karma-kun, a teacher doesn't let assassins go home without a lesson. Let me show you the power of these drill tentacles and the heat of this missile we "borrowed" from the Self-Defense Forces."
Koro-sensei's drill tentacles began moving at an incredible speed over the missile's flame. For several seconds, his tentacles moved faster than the eye could follow. Suddenly, Karma started wincing from the heat of something, and immediately, I felt something hot being tossed into my mouth, which was hanging open in surprise.
It was hot, but a delicious aroma filled my mouth. Since I had skipped breakfast, it felt even more intense.
"T-Takoyaki?"
"Correct, Nozaki-kun! You and Karma-kun didn't look well this morning; did you skip breakfast?"
"Well, Karma dragged me to the morning market."
"I see, so you two chose this octopus yourselves. Who picked it out, specifically?"
"Karma did."
"I see, he really does have a good eye!"
The teacher nodded in approval and handed me a box containing six pieces of takoyaki. I started eating what he had tossed into my mouth, and it was surprisingly delicious.
I used to hate octopus because of its appearance and my childhood impressions, but I realized now that it's actually quite edible. Is it Koro-sensei's cooking skill?
While I was devouring the takoyaki out of hunger, Karma was receiving a barrage of provocations from Koro-sensei.
"A teacher does not let assassins go without "maintenance." I will polish your blades, which have grown rusty and dull. Try to kill me with all you've got today; every time you do, I will maintain your skills and attitude."
At the teacher's words, Karma ground his teeth in frustration, his eyes filled with a deep, dark killing intent.
"I will polish your mind and body until they shine by the time you go home."
Koro-sensei declared.
From his smile, his tone, and his posture, I knew it. It was easy to feel.
Yeah, Karma is going to be toyed with all day today.
●○●○●
Throughout that day, Karma attempted various assassinations.
However, not a single one managed to graze Koro-sensei, and every time he failed, the teacher gave him a thorough "maintenance" session.
When he tried to shoot, he found himself undergoing a manicure before he could even draw his gun.
During Home Economics, he found himself wearing a frilly apron and a childish bandana.
When he tried to attack with a hidden knife, his movements were pinned down by a single tentacle, and he ended up with his hair styled in a formal 7:3 part and fixed with wax.
As I watched these scenes unfold, the school day came to an end.
In the end, Karma couldn't do anything.
That was only natural; our opponent was a Mach 20 monster, a supernatural being who could handle 26 students at once with total ease. There was no way Karma, attacking alone and haphazardly without coordination, could win.
"......"
Perhaps frustrated by his consecutive losses, Karma sat biting his nails, looking down from the cliff behind the isolated building toward the main school campus.
I watched him along with Nagisa.
"Karma-kun, let's try to kill him together as a team. There's no way a single person can defeat Koro-sensei when he's on full alert."
"No thanks. I want to do it myself. What annoys me most is the idea of teachers like him dying on their own in a place I don't know."
"Your hatred for teachers is really deep-seated. Do you want to kill them that badly?"
"...Teachers are just beings that die on their own, aren't they?"
Karma was in a state of defiance and despair.
Well, I could understand his feelings. Karma didn't originally hate teachers; he actually used to be quite fond of his previous teacher.
But for someone to reach this level of hatred, there must be a good reason. Perhaps the reason his previous teacher lost all value in Karma's eyes was the idea that "teachers die on their own"—meaning they fail their students or abandon them.
"Now then... Karma-kun, you've received a lot of maintenance today, haven't you?"
Koro-sensei approached us, his face bearing the green stripes that signaled he was mocking someone.
"You're welcome to keep trying to kill me. I'm ready to polish you until you shine even more!"
"I want to confirm one thing... you are a teacher, aren't you, Koro-sensei?"
"...? Yes."
"Then, is a teacher someone who protects their students even if it costs them their life?"
"Of course, because I am a teacher."
I realized Karma was planning something terrible, though I couldn't imagine what.
He slowly drew his airsoft gun and aimed it at Koro-sensei while smiling. It was his most serene and pure smile of the entire day.
"I see. Now I'm relieved. In that case... I can kill you."
In the next moment, Karma leapt. He moved in the opposite direction from us, toward the abyss—a light, graceful jump.
Karma jumped without hesitation. Rather than saying he jumped while aiming his gun, it looked like he was falling on purpose, and his movements began to appear in slow motion before my eyes.
"Karma!?"
The moment my brain processed that he was falling off the cliff, my heart gave a massive, violent thud.
Karma was falling slowly, so slowly. In my field of vision, he hadn't even cleared the edge of the cliff yet; his heels were still level with the ground we stood on, and he was falling with an unbelievable slowness.
If I ran and reached out, I'd catch him. There was still time.
My sense of time and reality began to warp.
I could see him. I'd reach him. I'd save him.
And yet, my body felt incredibly heavy.
Contrary to my slow-motion vision, my thoughts were racing at their usual speed. But against those thoughts, my body refused to move as I wanted. It was truly heavy.
It felt like I was moving through a viscous liquid, or trying to move in the middle of a hard gel.
No, to be more precise, I couldn't move.
"───"
I couldn't even make a sound. I struggled desperately to move my vocal cords and used every muscle in my body to try and run toward the falling Karma, but the result was a single, lonely step and a muffled sound.
"Ka────!"
What was happening? What was wrong with this world?
Everything was slow, except for my thoughts.
While I was in a state of shock and confusion from this sensation I had never experienced in my life, I felt something pass over our heads.
"Ku────"
Koro-sensei. He was the only one moving in this world where time seemed to have stopped.
But he was moving strangely slowly, too. Compared to me, struggling to take a single step, he was miles ahead, but the strange thing was that I could track his movement with my eyes.
Even so, I understood that his movement was far faster than Karma's falling speed and that it was fast enough to save him for certain.
The moment I realized that, I felt a wave of intense vertigo and the thread of tension snapped inside me. My body gave way, and I collapsed.
"Karma-kun! Nozaki!?"
Nagisa ran toward me. Thanks to him supporting me before I fell completely, I ended up just kneeling on the ground.
"W-what about Karma?"
When I asked, Nagisa went to the edge of the cliff and signaled to me that everything was fine.
I breathed a sigh of relief. Even though the idea of the world ending is a global catastrophe, the incident of a friend dying was far worse for my heart.
Now, my mind began to calm down and notice something.
The world had returned to normal. It was no longer that slow, annoying world, but the world where my body moved as usual and I could speak as I wanted.
After seeing that scene a moment ago, the world now seemed a bit fast, even though it was moving at its regular speed.
When the vertigo settled, I was finally able to stand.
"Are you okay?"
"...I think so. Sorry, I scared you guys."
I closed my eyes tightly and opened them several times to confirm reality. Yes, I seemed to be fine.
What had just happened to me?
"Nozaki, do you have anemia?"
"No, not at all. But anyone would be shocked if they saw their friend fall off a cliff, wouldn't they?"
"...That's true, too."
While I was trying to dodge his question, Karma returned from the bottom of the cliff, carried in Koro-sensei's tentacles.
I was surprised when I saw his face; that murky killing intent that had filled him had vanished.
Perhaps "the expression of someone who has had their toxins removed" is the best way to describe him now.
"Wow... looking down again, it's really high... Karma-kun, you took a crazy risk so calmly."
After my nerves settled a bit, I looked down the cliff Karma had jumped from with Nagisa. To be honest, I regretted looking out of curiosity.
The drop was terrifyingly steep. Just standing there and looking down made my stomach churn with fear.
"Not really... that was the best kill plan I could think of, but I guess I should calm down and redraw my plans."
"Please, spare me the suicide stunts in the future. My heart can't take it."
"I learned my lesson. I won't do it again. I realized that no matter how I try to kill him, I can't kill this person as long as he is a "teacher.""
Amazing! Karma has actually mellowed out.
A moment ago, he was like a sharp blade that only knew cold greetings, but now he has gained a kind of nobility in admitting defeat clearly.
A fundamental change must have occurred in his feelings, or maybe he temporarily lost his mind from pure terror during the fall. Should I take him to the hospital just in case?
"Oh my, have you run out of ideas already? I still have plenty of tools to polish you and fix your attitude!"
"...I'm starting to feel like killing you again."
Koro-sensei continued to tease Karma until the very end with his striped face of mockery. Even though the veins of anger popped in Karma's face, the aura around him was clearly different from before the jump.
If this had been before the jump, he might have tossed out mocking words with a suspicious smirk, but the Karma now is showing his emotions honestly on his face.
"I'll kill you—tomorrow for sure."
Karma said, drawing his thumb across his neck in a throat-slitting gesture, his face bright. He really was a different person from a moment ago.
It seemed Koro-sensei was the victor in this round. He had finished "polishing" a troublesome student. The teacher drew a large red circle on his face and smiled with total satisfaction.