"My name is Irina Jelavić. I look forward to having a wonderful time with all of you!!"
A breathtaking beauty stood before us.
Her masterfully styled blonde hair shimmered in the sunlight, complemented by porcelain skin and perfectly symmetrical features. Wide eyes and a delicate, straight nose anchored her stunning face.
Irina Jelavić had joined our class today as a new teacher.
For some reason, she seemed completely smitten with Koro-sensei.
One couldn't help but wonder what could possibly happen between this beauty and that octopus. It was a baffling, surreal sight.
However, Karasuma-sensei had warned us about this woman yesterday. Even those who hadn't heard it directly must have sensed the truth instinctively.
This woman was a professional assassin.
She clearly had no interest in us.
Despite claiming to be an Assistant Language Teacher (ALT), she only looked in our general direction. She didn't even try to meet our eyes.
My intuition flared immediately; I knew right then that I couldn't stand her.
"The school wants to introduce you to a real foreign language. Starting today, she will handle half of the English lessons."
"Since that's the case, we have no choice but to accept it."
Karasuma-sensei stuck to the official story, but the more he spoke, the more suspicious the whole thing smelled.
After all, we were Class E—the "End Class." We were the outcasts gathered in this mountain facility after being rejected by the main campus. Sending a foreign ALT specifically to us was impossible given how the school usually treated us.
Furthermore, how could a woman dressed in such restrictive clothing climb that rugged mountain path to our building without breaking a single drop of sweat?
She might have wiped it off before entering, but her outfit suggested she was wearing high heels. Anyone who could navigate that mountain path in heels was certainly no ordinary person.
── Though I couldn't rule out the possibility that Koro-sensei had carried her here.
While I was lost in thought, this assassin disguised as a teacher exchanged exaggerated, flirtatious glances with Koro-sensei.
I wondered for a moment: did seduction actually work on him? Judging by his reaction, it worked incredibly well.
Despite being an octopus, he seemed perfectly capable of feeling lust toward humans.
"Oh, the more I look at you, the more I admire you..! Those round eyes like black Seirogan pills, those mysterious, flexible joints..! I feel like I'm becoming completely captivated by you!"
"Oh my, you're making me blush."
(( Don't be fooled, Koro-sensei! No woman on Earth would ever fall for those details!! ))
I felt as though I could hear my female classmates' silent screams echoing in their hearts.
During lunch break, I thought about speaking with Karasuma-sensei. I found him in the courtyard discussing something serious with Irina as they watched the other students practice their assassination attempts.
"Excuse me, Karasuma-sensei. Do you have a moment?"
I called out to them, and both turned toward me.
From the morning until lunch—four full hours—I had visited the faculty room several times. Not once during that period had Irina Jelavić met my eyes.
Now, however, she finally showed interest.
"Are you Nozaki?"
"Yes. This is Keiichi Nozaki, the first person in this class to destroy one of that creature's tentacles."
"Hmm.. I looked over the files I was given. Are you really Shinichi Nozaki's son?"
"And if I am, what's it to you?"
The moment she finally looked at me, she dropped unnecessary information. My voice dropped an octave, sounding unintentionally sharp and angry.
I knew this wasn't how a student should speak to a teacher, but I decided to lean into the "delinquent student" label I'd been given. This woman was a professional killer—a murderer, essentially—and I couldn't trust her.
Moreover, her current demeanor was the polar opposite of the sweetness she showed Koro-sensei. This cold, dry side was undoubtedly her true personality.
They say women treat the people they love differently from everyone else; unless she was actually in love with an octopus, in which case my analysis was way off.
"You aren't purely Japanese, are you?"
"My maternal grandmother was Western, so I'm a quarter-foreigner. I inherited this hair from my mother's genes."
"I see.. You look like you have a promising future. Anyway, let's change the subject. When you broke that octopus's tentacle, was there something specific you focused on?"
The conversation shifted with dizzying speed.
She moved from an unrelated topic back to the tentacle incident with total fluidity. Was this the communication skill of a professional?
"Nothing special. My classmate, Nagisa Shiota, prepared a notebook summarizing Koro-sensei's—I mean, the octopus's—weaknesses. I just put what was in those notes into practice."
"I see.. Shiota.. Shiota.. Ah, you mean that boy who's hard to tell the gender of? Well, thank you for the information."
Since I had no desire for a deep relationship with a real assassin, I told her everything she asked. Irina-sensei thanked me with unexpected bluntness.
However, her next move was so unpredictable that I couldn't react.
"Mmm.."
"Mmmm— Ghoo!?"
After thanking me, I thought she would immediately go find Nagisa. I prepared to watch her walk away, but she suddenly closed the distance and kissed me before I could even process what was happening.
I'll say it again: she kissed me.
You might not understand, but I didn't understand it myself.
It wasn't just a kiss. The moment I felt something soft touch my lips, something wet, hot, and smooth invaded my mouth.
As her tongue swept through my mouth as if claiming every drop of moisture, I stood there paralyzed. My mind went completely white.
"Mmm— Fwaaa.."
She pulled her lips away just as I began to lose consciousness.
My lungs burned for air; I had failed to breathe properly during that deep, intense kiss.
"My, it seems today's youth collapse from just this much. I thought you'd be more advanced and experienced."
Her mocking words hit my eardrums, but my consciousness had already plunged into an inescapable, misty void.
"Nozaki-kun! Are you okay, Nozaki-kun?!"
Karasuma-sensei, I really wish you had saved me a little sooner...
●○●○● [Nagisa Shiota's Perspective]
"Koro-sensei!"
While we were all practicing our assassination drills, we heard an unfamiliar voice. We didn't need to ask who it was.
It was the newest addition to our class, the woman who clearly wasn't an ordinary person: Irina Jelavić herself.
"I heard from Karasuma-sensei and Nozaki-kun that you move incredibly fast!"
── Nozaki? Did he already talk to her?
"Oh, heavens, not that much."
"I have a request! Actually, I want more than anything to taste authentic Vietnamese coffee just once.. Could you go buy some for me while I handle this English lesson?"
"That's quite easy! I know an excellent café in Vietnam!"
"Bpyoooon!" Koro-sensei took off at supersonic speed, leaving behind a sonic boom and a massive gust of wind. He left us in a state of shock as the bell rang to signal the start of class.
"Excuse me, Irina-sensei. Aren't we going back to the classroom? The bell rang."
Isogai-kun spoke up as the class representative when he saw she wasn't moving. She let out a fake, heavy sigh.
"How annoying. Go study by yourselves. Make it a self-study period."
"What..?"
"Also, don't call me by my first name so casually. Call me 'Big Sister Jelavić'."
Silence fell over my classmates. The gap between the persona she showed Koro-sensei and her current self was vast. Amidst the confusion, however, one rebellious student remained unfazed.
"So, what's the next step, Sister Bitch?"
"Don't shorten my name!!"
Typical Karma-kun. No one else would dare respond like that except him or Nozaki.
But where was Nozaki, anyway?
"We're an entire class and we couldn't kill that octopus. Do you really think you can do it alone?"
"Heh.. You're such children. Adults have their own ways of killing. Since that octopus is weak to a woman's charms, this is my specialty."
"Professor Bitch" (the nickname Karma coined by playing with the end of her name, Jelavić) spoke sharply, then suddenly turned her gaze toward me. I felt a chill, like a prey animal under the gaze of a raptor.
"You're Nagisa Shiota, right? Nozaki mentioned earlier that you take notes on that octopus's weaknesses?"
"Eh.. Mmmm!?"
"No way!?"
"Heh.."
She kissed me out of nowhere. It wasn't just a kiss; it was a deep one where she forced her tongue into my mouth.
I couldn't even think about pushing her away. I just stood there, surrendering, until my mind nearly blanked from the shock.
"My.. Nozaki fainted from this, but you seem to have more endurance."
"I envy you, Nozaki!"
Okajima-kun started screaming in a fit of jealousy.
As for me, I was in total shock because my first kiss had been such a traumatizing ordeal. Meanwhile, Professor Bitch announced loudly:
"Listen well. Anyone who cooperates with me in this assassination will receive a fitting reward. I'll make the boys feel this wonderful sensation, and I'll lend the girls some men.. Though I have many ways to force you to talk if I have to."
With those words, three men appeared from the back mountain path.
They were heavily built and clearly weren't ordinary people.
"A professional assassin possesses both technique and vast networks. You kids who don't intend to cooperate, stay outside and just watch. And anyone who tries to get in my way.. I'll kill them."
She took a small handgun from one of the men and threatened us.
The weight of the word "kill" felt different coming from a real assassin. In that moment, we all thought the same thing: "We hate this teacher."
But we had no choice. We returned to the classroom while she sat in the teacher's chair to review her plan.
I had been summoned to the faculty room and forced to reveal the contents of my weakness notebook. A question nagged at me: why wasn't Karasuma-sensei in the room? And why hadn't Nozaki returned even after class started?
As Professor Bitch chuckled to herself, lost in her own world, Okano-san spoke up boldly:
"Listen, Sister Bitch, teach us."
"Yeah, that's right, Sister Bitch."
Everyone calling her "Bitch" seemed to hit a nerve. She snapped at them.
"Dammit! Stop saying 'Bitch,' it's irritating!"
"But you're supposed to be a teacher here, Sister Bitch."
"Shut up! The problem is your weird Japanese pronunciation! Don't you know the difference between 'V' and 'B'? Fine, I'll teach you the correct 'V' sound. Come on, lightly bite your lower lips."
Finally, something resembling a lesson began. But as soon as we did as she asked, her reaction frustrated us.
"Excellent. Stay like that and keep quiet. It's much more peaceful."
(( What kind of ridiculous lesson is this..!! ))
Just then, the classroom door slid open and Nozaki staggered in.
"Oh, Nozaki, you're late."
(( And you haven't even done any real teaching anyway! ))
"Here.. I'm sorry.."
"Nozaki!?"
Everyone shouted in unison when they saw Nozaki's altered, miserable state.
Outside the classroom, Karasuma-sensei held his head in his hands, looking at Nozaki with clear concern.
"N-Nozaki! Did you really do that 'deep' thing with Sister Bitch!? How did it feel?!"
Despite Okajima-kun's annoying prying, Nozaki—who looked like he was in another dimension—didn't care. He uttered just one phrase:
"Everything.. just went white.."
"I envy you, you bastard!!"
"Stop shaking him like that~"
"Bepyu!?"
"Okajimaaa!!?"
In an involuntary reflex, Nozaki threw Okajima-kun to the floor. When we thought he had returned to normal, he lost his balance trying to sit and fell off his chair. Isogai-kun rushed to help him. And so, the fifth-period English class ended without a single bit of academic progress.
Then came sixth-period P.E.
"Karasuma-sensei, we hate that woman."
Kataoka-san threw those harsh, direct words at Karasuma-sensei.
"Ah.. I feel like my head is still cloudy, specifically since that woman kissed me."
"N-Nozaki-kun, are you okay?"
"Oh, yeah."
Nozaki seemed to have finally regained his senses and began participating in target practice.
"H-Hey, look! Sister Bitch!"
"Is she dragging Koro-sensei into the sports equipment shed!?"
"I'm disappointed.. I didn't think Koro-sensei was someone who could be so easily fooled by a woman like that."
"Karasuma-sensei, can't you do something? We have entrance exams this year. we won't be able to study like this."
Isogai-kun lodged his complaint bitterly. Karasuma-sensei lowered his head in regret.
"I apologize. Instructions came from the government to leave the assassination to her as a professional. I will try to improve the study environment, but Irina cannot be removed unless something major happens, as long as the higher-up orders don't change."
"Tell me.. is that woman really that bad?"
Nozaki, who wasn't around during lunch or fifth period, asked the question. we filled him in on everything.
"Karasuma-sensei, I heard Nagisa and the others were threatened with a gun.. Isn't that 'something major' enough? A real assassin carrying a weapon and threatening middle schoolers."
Nozaki's reaction was swift.
He questioned Karasuma-sensei with precision. It was amazing how he switched from being dazed to that level of sharp thinking; Nozaki really did have a keen natural intelligence.
Even though he always said, "My total score for all five subjects is only a hundred points," I started to doubt he was telling the truth.
"I wasn't aware of that. My apologies. I will do my best to improve the situation; your safety is our top priority."
"We're counting on you."
As we watched the dialogue between Karasuma-sensei and Nozaki, a loud gunshot rang out, and smoke billowed from the equipment shed.
Did she use live ammunition? Immediately after our question, we heard a disgusting, squelching sound.. the sound of tentacles moving violently through viscous fluids.
"W-What's happening in there!?"
"Let's go see!"
Okajima-kun and Maehara-kun, who lived for drama, rushed over, and the rest followed. We saw Professor Bitch emerge from the shed wearing gym bloomers, a training jacket, and a headband.
"I can't believe it.. those undulating tentacles and slimy fluids did a face-slimming massage, lymphatic stimulation.. and things, things happened too.."
She muttered those disturbing words and then collapsed.
Koro-sensei emerged shortly after, his face glowing light pink—the color he turned when thinking about perverted things.
"What did you do to her, Koro-sensei?"
"Heh heh.. Adults have their own ways of discipline."
"That's the face of a villain!"
"No way.. a live demonstration of real tentacles.. I wish I'd seen it."
"Nozaki! What are these weird fetishes you show every now and then!?"
Setting aside Nozaki's strange inclinations, we decided to head back to class, leaving the unconscious Professor Bitch on the ground.
●○●○● [Nozaki's Perspective]
It seemed the nickname "Sister Bitch" was Karma's invention. Speaking of that teacher...
"Mumble.. mumble.."
Yesterday's failed assassination attempt seemed to have left a deep scar on her soul. She sat there biting her nails and muttering incoherently.
"Hahaha, you look truly pathetic, Sister Bitch."
Karma provoked her as usual, but she didn't react.
This situation wasn't going to lead anywhere.
We were currently in English class. Because lessons had been disrupted yesterday and today, tension was beginning to show on everyone's faces.
As for me, I wasn't worried. I had the lowest rank in the entire grade. Sticking to the lessons wouldn't help me catch up in anything except P.E. anyway.
But the others were different.
"Excuse me, Teacher. Can't you start teaching? If you won't, let Koro-sensei take over. We have entrance exams this year."
Isogai spoke on behalf of the class, but his request seemed to touch a nerve. Her anger flared.
"What? Teaching? You children live in a world of luxury and indifference, don't you?"
"What do you mean..?"
Everyone was stunned by her calling them indifferent, but Professor Bitch continued regardless.
"Don't you realize? That creature will erase the Earth next year, yet you want to receive an education from him? Children truly live in an enviable peace."
"What are you trying to say?"
"I said I envy you for comparing the destruction of the world to entrance exams. That's the reality, isn't it? Karasuma, myself, and many others are doing our best to kill that creature, while you only care about your studies."
"This.."
This "Bitch" had struck a painful, sensitive chord.
What she said was absolutely true. Even though we were technically assassins, to her, we were just amateurs—so-called killers with no real achievements.
And as she said, Karasuma-sensei and many others we didn't see were sacrificing everything to kill Koro-sensei.
Perhaps she had seen these people throughout her career, or perhaps she felt great pride in being tasked with such a monumental mission to save the world.
Even if Karasuma-sensei treated us like professionals, to her, we were just kids. The gap in mindset and perspective was vast.
In truth, our assassinations were always accompanied by smiles, and we always had "another chance" to learn from our mistakes throughout the year. We had repeated opportunities that professionals lacked.
If she was scolding us for our lack of psychological preparation for the act of "killing" itself, then Professor Bitch's words were accurate in that sense.
However, her next words were unnecessary and provocative.
"Furthermore, isn't this 'Class E' just a collection of failures? In that case, wouldn't it be more useful for you to focus on the assassination instead of useless studying?"
".."
"Cooperate with me, and I'll give each of you five million yen. It's a massive amount you won't see in your entire lives. Isn't that more useful than pointless study──"
Before she could finish, an eraser flew past her ear and slammed into the chalkboard before falling to the floor, as if cutting off her train of thought.
Yes, her words might be logical from a material standpoint, but they were extreme and emotionally immature. Because of her harsh logic, everyone felt repulsed. Middle school students who hadn't yet matured psychologically couldn't be expected to accept such talk.
"Get out of here."
A whisper full of rage echoed through the classroom.
"Yeah! Get out!"
"That's right! We have no need for women with big chests!"
"Kayano, what you're saying is a bit weird!?"
"Give me and Nagisa back our first kisses!"
"Don't be greedy, Nozaki!"
And just like that, classroom discipline collapsed completely. As for me, frankly, I was interested in Professor Bitch's techniques.
I had noticed something strange. That sensation of the world slowing down that I always felt during training with Karasuma-sensei hadn't happened yesterday when she approached and kissed me.
I suspected the condition for that phenomenon was my feeling extreme danger and having my nerves stretched to the limit.
The first time happened when Karma tried to commit suicide during an assassination attempt. The subsequent times were during Karasuma-sensei's training when I felt the "danger of losing."
It seemed to happen when my alertness peaked.
"..."
This meant I had failed to be wary of Professor Bitch yesterday until the kiss happened.
But it was suspicious. As I thought yesterday, she was a professional assassin. The word "assassin" sounded glamorous, but its essence was "murderer." I was aware of that and intended to be careful, yet she bypassed my guard with ease.
That technique of infiltrating an opponent's guard was an incredibly useful skill for close-quarters assassination.
But what should I do? How do I approach her now? Everyone had risen against her, and she had threatened to kill anyone who blocked her path. I didn't know what she might consider "interference."
I decided to stop thinking and joined the others in their rebellion against the teacher.
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