"Koro-sensei, this is poison! I made it with all my heart. Please drink it!"
"...Are you actually going through with this?"
Snickers and wry smiles broke out among my classmates. We had just finished a science experiment, and the lab still hummed with the afterglow of the lesson.
It made sense; even I was stunned. What Manami Okuda was doing wasn't just a murder attempt—it was more like soliciting a suicide. She was standing right in front of her target, asking him to swallow a lethal dose with a completely straight face. She looked like a mob movie villain offering a rival a "special drink" to send them to the afterlife.
The room still smelled of the sugar and food coloring we had used for our experiment. From somewhere, Okuda pulled out a flask filled with a suspiciously colored liquid.
Miss Okuda, I thought, I have a few questions. First, how did you even mix that? And where did that flask come from?
Furthermore, could you even call this an "assassination" anymore? It was so naive and reckless it barely qualified.
I struggled to stifle a laugh, nearly choking on the "Himo Q" gummy I was secretly chewing. If I hadn't caught myself, it would have shot out of my nose—the same way milk or rice does when someone makes you laugh mid-meal.
"M-Miss Okuda, that is a remarkably bold and straightforward way to kill someone,"
I managed to say.
"I-I'm just... I'm not good at surprise attacks like everyone else,"
she stammered.
"But I am good at chemistry! So I made this with all my heart!"
"Tell me, Hara,"
I whispered to the girl next to me.
"Do "heart" and "poison" usually go together like that?"
"U-Usually not... I think. Maybe she just means she put a lot of effort into it?"
I wondered if my common sense was skewed, but even Hara seemed at a loss for words. It made sense—putting your "heart" into a poison is a far cry from putting your heart into a home-cooked meal.
"How very kind of you... Well then, down the hatch."
"You're actually drinking it?!"
Maehara shouted.
Ignoring the protest, Koro-sensei took one of the three flasks and downed it as if he were finishing a can of soda. The lab erupted in a mix of gasps and terrified screams.
As we watched with a mix of worry and dread, Koro-sensei let out a pained groan, and his body began to distort.
"Nyu!"
A protrusion—or rather, a horn—sprouted from the back of his head.
Truly, this octopus has a body that defies all logic. The other day, when I saw him using a smartphone, I just nodded and thought, I guess those tentacles conduct static electricity too. I'd stopped questioning things long ago.
"This tastes like Sodium Hydroxide,"
Koro-sensei remarked.
"Harmful to humans, certainly, but it won't work on me."
"...I see."
Wait, how do you even know what it tastes like, you octopus?! Has he actually drunk the stuff before? He really has surpassed human limits. This was a shock to my system—it almost entirely debunked my theory that Koro-sensei used to be a human being.
"There are two more, I see..."
"Y-Yes."
"Then... ugh, guuuh, gah!"
After another pained reaction, wings sprouted from his face. He looked like a "Drago Slime" from Dragon Quest. How does his face even change shape like that? Are those tentacles made of some sort of hyper-malleable tissue? His face already changes color and gets green stripes, but this was on another level.
"Now he has wings..."
"His face is getting unnecessarily fancy."
"Hmm, this is definitely Thallium Acetate."
Again, how do you know the taste?!
That's an acid! It's a hazardous material that melts things on contact. Normal people don't just drink that. Was I the crazy one here?
"And now for the final bottle...!"
"What's going to happen?!"
"What kind of face is he going to end up with?!"
The curiosity was infectious. Everyone's eyes were locked on Koro-sensei. A heartbeat thudded so loudly we could hear it, and then he reached his final form.
"..."
He became completely expressionless.
"His "serious face" is... really thin."
"He looks like an emoji."
Specifically, he looked exactly like this: ( ˙-˙ ). If you had to represent his current face with symbols, that was the only choice.
"He looks like that emoji Keiichi uses on LINE all the time,"
Isogai noted.
"Isogai, you didn't need to say that,"
I snapped.
"This one is Aqua Regia,"
Koro-sensei said.
"HOW DO YOU KNOW THE TASTE?!"
Terasaka couldn't help but bark out the question. He acts like a tough delinquent, but I suspect he's actually a pretty fun guy once you get to know him. He sounds like a bully, but he'll definitely end up being the butt of the jokes once he settles in.
Still, it was a great interjection. If he hadn't said it, I would have.
"Miss Okuda, while your poisons are all lethal to humans, they only have enough power to change my complexion."
"...Oh... I see..."
"Even if you hate me, please don't hate assassination."
"What is wrong with you all of a sudden?!"
Koro-sensei's sudden, dramatic outburst came out of nowhere. Was it possible the poison actually did work? Maybe it was like how people get sentimental when they catch a cold? If so, then a poison-based strategy might actually be viable.
"Miss Okuda? Your poisons were excellent, but as a teacher, I cannot allow a student to handle such dangerous substances alone. I will assist you today. Let us work together to create a poison that actually works on me."
"Y-Yes, sir!"
"A lethal poison... made in collaboration with the target..."
"I'll have to ask about the details later..."
And so, the day's lesson ended.
The idea of poisoning hadn't occurred to me, so Okuda's attempt was a helpful reference. Would Karasuma-sensei praise me if I killed Koro-sensei? The thought filled me with motivation.
The main problem, however, was finding a poison that actually affected him. Logic suggested the anti-sensei BBs... but since Koro-sensei has a massive sweet tooth, maybe I could hide them in a strawberry cake? No, that seemed difficult. If he caught me while I was slicing the cake, it would be game over.
Hmm... poisoning.
The simplest method is usually spiking a drink with something lethal, but is there any liquid that can actually kill him?
Wait.
Besides the BBs, we also have the anti-sensei knives. Aren't those made of a rubbery material? Rubber is a resin, which is oil-based, meaning the raw material must be a liquid. Couldn't that be used as a "poison" to assassinate him?
I pulled out my phone and started researching. BBs are plastic, and plastic and resin are essentially the same thing.
The poison to kill Koro-sensei had been right under our noses the whole time.
While Koro-sensei was busy hauling the snacks he'd confiscated from us back to his nest, I went to consult Karasuma-sensei.
"I see. Using the raw materials of the knives and BBs as a poison to kill him... that might actually be effective,"
Karasuma-sensei agreed.
"However, I can't exactly hand over the raw chemical compounds. They're simply too dangerous. I can't take responsibility if it gets in someone's eyes or if a student swallows it by mistake. Though, I suppose the risk of accidental ingestion is low."
Darn. I should have expected that. It was still a combustible oil-based substance, after all. I couldn't really argue with that logic.
But I didn't want to waste a good idea. I tried to think of other possibilities.
"In that case, could we coat everyday items with the anti-sensei material?"
"Go on."
"For example, a jump rope. If we coat it with the material used for the knives, it could work as a makeshift whip. If we ask Koro-sensei to demonstrate how to jump rope and hand it to him, we might be able to shred his tentacles in the confusion."
"...I see. That actually sounds quite effective."
Success. My plan was viable.
"Also, if the raw liquid is out, what if we mix it into floor wax?"
"Wax? You mean coat the floor with it before the summer or winter breaks, so his feet are shredded the moment he steps into the classroom on the first day back?"
"Exactly. I don't expect it to solve everything, but it's worth a shot."
"No need to be modest. We need flexible thinking like yours. I'm counting on you from now on. I have high expectations."
Expectations.
That one word made my heart race.
"Yes, sir!"
It seemed Karasuma-sensei genuinely approved of my plans. I felt a surge of real determination. For now, I handed over my handgun and my jump rope, asking him to coat them for me. We agreed that if this proved effective, we'd roll it out for any other students who wanted it.
Until then, I'd stick to the knives. The custom gear would take a few days to finish; I'd look forward to my secret weapons.
●○●○●
The next day, Okuda arrived with the poison she said she'd made with Koro-sensei after school.
Apparently, she'd managed to manage, store, and complete the mixture by following a manga Koro-sensei drew called The Proper Way to Store Poisons.
It was impressive—both for Okuda and Koro-sensei. He went that far just for her safety? He even went through the trouble of making it an easy-to-read comic.
People say teaching is a sacred profession. In that light, I guess Koro-sensei really is a sort of saint.
"I've never been good at Literature,"
Okuda admitted.
"I hate wordplay and contexts where there isn't a single right answer. But I was always good at science. In science, there's only ever one answer."
"Miss Okuda..."
That was clearly the reason behind her brutally honest assassination attempt yesterday. I could understand the frustration of ambiguity, but...
"Koro-sensei is trying to help me grow my talent,"
she continued.
"He thinks that if I just sharpen my strengths, I won't need anything else."
"...Okuda—"
Sugino, who had recently learned the proper way to develop his own talent from Koro-sensei, tried to interject and correct her warped interpretation, but Koro-sensei flew into the room before he could speak.
"Koro-sensei!"
Okuda ran up to him before Sugino could say anything. Sugino slumped his shoulders, but Nagisa offered a comforting pat on the back.
Meanwhile, Okuda talked happily and excitedly about the chemical synthesis and the process of making the drug. Koro-sensei nodded with an air of satisfaction.
"Now, Teacher! Please drink this!"
"Yes, yes. Well then, I shall partake."
Koro-sensei took the medicine from a beaming Okuda and gulped it down even more dramatically than the day before.
Just like yesterday, his body began to quiver, and the heavy thud-thud of his heart echoed through the classroom.
"Nurufufufufu... thank you, Miss Okuda. Thanks to you, I have obtained yet another magnificent power."
The next words to hit our ears were ominous. Koro-sensei's tone had shifted into something that sounded like he had tricked her.
A flash of intuition told us something was wrong, but we were helpless to stop it. By the time we looked at Koro-sensei, it was too late.
"Nurufufufu...! Nurufufufufu!!"
Laughing like a final boss revealing his true form, Koro-sensei was engulfed in a cloud of thick white smoke that blinded the entire room. When the air cleared, we couldn't believe our eyes.
"Whew..."
His body was silver. Instead of his usual yellow octopus form, he was now... if I were to use another Dragon Quest analogy... a Liquid Metal Slime.
"「「HE MELTED!!?"
""
"Miss Okuda, what you created for me was a drug that activates my cells and increases my fluidity."
"What...?"
Ignoring Okuda, who was reeling from the cruel revelation, Koro-sensei moved with a speed that left us in the dust. He slithered into the drawer of Kataoka's desk.
"Being liquid allows me to slip into any crack or crevice!"
"...Where do you think you're going?!"
Kataoka's voice was thick with exasperation, but Koro-sensei ignored her, accelerating and flying around the room in every direction.
"Now! Try and kill me!"
"Wait, that's impossible! We can't aim if you're slipping into the gaps in the floor and ceiling!"
Everyone except the shell-shocked Okuda raised their guns, but no one could get a lock on him. Muzzles pointed aimlessly around the room in frustration.
"Did you trick me?! Koro-sensei!!"
Okuda's heartbroken cry echoed through the room.
At her words, Koro-sensei stopped in the upper right corner of the ceiling. The silver, slime-like opening that served as his mouth curved into a smirk.
"Miss Okuda. Assassination requires the literary skill to deceive others."
"Huh..."
"No matter how great a poison you create, if you hand it over as honestly as you did yesterday and today, the target will simply use it against you. Just like I did. For example... Nagisa-kun. If you were going to poison me, what would you do?"
"Me? Um..."
Nagisa was momentarily taken aback by being put on the spot, but he tilted his head and squeezed out an answer.
"Well... maybe I'd dilute the poison into a sweet juice you like and give it to you as a 'special treat'?"
"Exactly. To deceive and manipulate people, you must understand their feelings and use your words wisely. To successfully administer poison, you need Literature skills."
Okuda looked up at Koro-sensei, struck by the truth in Nagisa's answer and her teacher's words.
"Your talent for science will surely help people in the future. But to communicate that power clearly to everyone, please sharpen the Literature skills you need to 'deliver the poison.'"
"Y-Yes, sir!!"
Okuda gave a spirited reply as Koro-sensei put his clothes back on and returned to his normal form. Koro-sensei nodded, clearly pleased with her newfound motivation.
His words had moved another student's heart.
"Ahaha. I guess it was a problem that started even before the assassination,"
Karma teased.
Everyone shared a wry smile. No matter how much "poison" a student held, they were still just students to Koro-sensei.
He accepted our murderous intent as a teacher, lectured us as a teacher, and instead of denying that intent, he sharpened it into a legitimate talent.
He really was different from other teachers. He wasn't like those adults who would just look at me and praise my father.
As I watched my classmates being molded one by one, my own expectations began to take a solid, growing shape.
●○●○●
After school, I trained with Karasuma-sensei.
"Shi...!"
"...!"
Thanks to the Ambidexterity Training Notebook I'd received from Koro-sensei, I felt my knife work with both hands had improved significantly. However, I decided it was still too unpolished to show Karasuma-sensei. Instead, I focused on swinging the knife with my right hand while throwing punches with my left. He looked slightly surprised, but he handled the attacks effortlessly.
Watching his reaction left me with two conflicting feelings: satisfaction at being able to surprise him, and frustration at how easily he neutralized me.
When was the last time I felt this frustrated?
Maybe back when I was still full of drive, working hard to be recognized. It might have been since I lost to Asano in the second exams of our first year.
"Not yet!"
Using the momentum from a dodged attack, I threw a back-fist, but he evaded that too. Karasuma-sensei seized my exposed arm and pinned me to the ground.
Right before I hit the dirt, the world turned monochrome. Everything slowed down, and a sensation washed over me as if my thoughts had outpaced the physical world.
...It happened again.
Ever since I saw Karma fall from that cliff, this sensation hit me whenever I felt a sense of crisis.
The world moves in slow motion, yet I can't move. Or rather, I feel like I'm moving, but it's as if I'm wading through thick, heavy sludge. I can't move my body the way I usually do.
But in the midst of that, if I just close my eyes and empty my mind, the world returns to normal. I was pinned down, looking up at the sky.
"...I lose."
"Heh... I'm not about to lose to an amateur just yet."
He offered me a hand up. As I brushed the dust off my tracksuit, Karasuma-sensei's phone rang.
"...Yes, yes... I see. The assignment has been decided?"
I didn't want to eavesdrop, so I started my cool-down stretches. Karasuma-sensei approached me with a sigh.
"Is something wrong?"
"Nozaki-kun. There's something I need to tell you."
His solemn expression made me tense up instinctively. I waited for his next words, but what he said went in a direction I hadn't expected at all.
"Starting tomorrow, another assassin is being sent to join us."
"...Are you serious?"
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I hope you are enjoying the story so far.