Looking closely, this scene looks like it came straight out of a fairytale. The whole street is filled with people who have committed endless sins, and the result of that is those nasty 'things' clinging closely to their shoulders, slowly eating away their lifespans. The sight of all those people weighed heavy-once again making my stomach twist. The fear of being among them flickering back. And among all those people, he alone is standing all pure. The alien-like boy I met earlier this morning, standing out among those dozens of people untouched, untainted-no worm like creatures on his shoulders, no marks, no stains. He looked.... clean, whole, almost unreal compared to the rest. In this world full of corruption and sins, he alone was standing like an existence that seemed to scream 'purity'.
Is there really a human like that? A human who never committed a sin? Is he really not an alien wearing a human's skin? I mean, that could be the only reasonable explanation. All my life, everyone that I have seen all had those creatures. The teacher at that nursery, Dr. Hans, even the children at the orphanage had those creatures. The only human beings that I've seen who don't have them are newborn babies. Even my own..... my own 'family' had them. As soon as you past 7 years old you're sins starts to take the form of those worm like creatures and eats at you're lifespans. And even the most kindest people have at the very least 1 to 2 of them. For him to not have even one.... just how is that possible? People like him exists? They actually exist!?
"Excuse me."
My whole body went stiff. That boy is speaking to me. When on earth did he walk up to me? I was staring at him the whole time, how did I not notice he was walking up to me? No-no wait a moment.... I was staring at him?
It took me a few more seconds before I realized what I was doing. And when I did, I felt like banging my head on the wall. My brain must have stopped working properly.
I WAS STARING AT HIM!!! For how long? How much time has it passed? I can't believe I did what I hated the most when people did to me! AGAIN! Is-is that the reason why this boy is here? Please tell me it's not.
"I saw that you have been staring at me for the past 7 minutes, and you were staring at me back at the hospital too. Did I perhaps do something to you? If so, could you tell me what it is so I can apologize? If not, may I know the reason why you're staring at me as if I came from another world?"
Seven minutes. That was the only part I heard before falling into a hole called embarrassment.
My stomach dropped so fast it felt like I'd swallowed a stone. Seven minutes? I was looking at him for that long? Heat rushed to my face, and I wanted to curl into myself, to disappear before anyone else noticed.
The old friend panic flared instantly-my chest tightening, my hands shaking, my mind screaming what if he thinks I'm weird, what if he thinks I'm a mentally ill person just like my brother? A psychopath just like my father?
At that moment, I had completely forgotten that he was a stranger whose name I don't even know. For a second, all I could feel was the weight of eyes that weren't even there. My heartbeat was gradually fastening, sweat had covered me like cloths. My breath started to get shaky.
But then the voice I've practiced in therapy nudged its way in: Breath. One breath in, one breath out. You are not in danger. He's just asking.
I gripped the edge of my sleeve to ground myself. My cheeks still burned, and I couldn't bring myself to meet his eyes, but I managed not to run. I whispered something-maybe an apology, maybe just that I hadn't realized I was looking. My voice trembled, but it came out.
Inside I was still shaking. Embarrassment gnawed at me, sharp and humiliating. But under it, there was this tiny thread of relief: I hadn't let my fear drag me all the way under this time.
The sunlight form the window disturbed my afternoon sleep. Just this morning, not even a ray of sunshine could be seen. Annoyed, I got up from the bed and drew the curtains. As I was going back to bed with a frown, the memory of what happened earlier today hit me like lightning. That moment-him walking up to me, asking why I was staring-replayed in my head like a scene I couldn't pause. My chest tightened all over again, and I buried my face into my pillow, groaning softly. Why did I just stand there staring? Sure, he was different from all the people I've ever met, but seven minutes? Seven?!
The shame lingered, heavy and sticky, the kind that clings no matter how much I try to shake it off. Part of me wanted to stay in bed forever, to avoid the possibility of ever running into him again. The thought of facing people made my skin prickle.
But then... another part of me remembered something. I hadn't run away. I hadn't completely broken down. I answered. My voice shook, yes, but I said something. Three years ago, I wouldn't have managed that-I probably, no-I would have most certainly bolted without a word.
That thought didn't erase the embarrassment, but it softened it a little. It was like having a bruise: still sore when I touched it, but proof I'd survived the hit.
Lying in the bed, I felt a mix of emotions. Embarrassment, shame, disappointment, proud, relief. All of these complicated human emotions started to inhabit my mind. I put my focus somewhere else to ease up. How did I come back home again? I can't remember.
Just then, a notification sound came from my phone. I stretched out my hand to get my phone that was in the other side of the bed. The notification had come from a website I had never seen before. Readersmeet.com.
I tilted my head slightly. Readersmeet? What is this?
Curious, I clicked on the notification. And it lead me to a chat room. There was a message that said-
"It's been a while since the last time we met up and had a book being discussed. How about we meet up at Hoxdon library this Saturday? Besides, we've got a new member!! We should definitely meet up and introduce ourselves."
I stared at my phone blankly. Little by little, I started to remember what had happened after I managed not to run when that boy confronted me.