Our footsteps echo against the marbled floor as we move deeper into the castle. The walls are cold but beautiful, torches flickering like they're trying to remember something forgotten. As if trying to get my attention and speak the secrets that lay beneath. I want to trail my fingers along the rough surface, instead I hold on to Kieran's hand. Soft, but dominating,safe, a small gesture but warming me completely.
It was a fair walk to the royal wing. This castle is bigger than I would have guessed. The unease about this place hasn't eased up and the way the staff react to Kieran is honestly getting to me.How many females has he taken to his chambers? Oh gods, has he had females staying in the royal chambers? Did he have a long term girlfriend? See these are questions I need answers to before this gets serious.
"Kieran, I want to know," I say, breaking the silence. My voice feels too small for a place this vast. "Before me,What was it like?"
"He glances at the arched ceilings, distracted as if the answer might be carved into stone. "Theres not much to tell."
I stop walking, the sound of my shoes disappear swallowed by the hall, letting go of his hand without thinking. He frowns at the lack of contact. "Thats not an answer."
He turns, smiling easily, like this is all harmless. "I mean it. Nothing serious. A few dates. People I barely remember."
We start walking again, passing a narrow window that spills the rising sun across the floor. "Nothing?"
"You're different, you know that." he says quicker now. "You're the only one who's ever made me feel like this."
The castle suddenly feels tighter, like the walls are leaning in. "So you've never loved anyone?" I ask.
"No." He answers quickly, coldly.
I let the word sink into the space between us as we climb the steps, each foot falling heavier than the last.
"And sex?" I ask, my voice lower now, like stone might over hear us. He hesitates, stiffens, just for a beat, just long enough. "I'm not judging. I just want honesty."
He gives an awkward laugh, the sound bouncing upward. "It wasn't a big deal. You know. To scratch the itch."
I glance at him. "So how many?"
He grips the railing, knuckles turning white, shrugs "Does it matter?"
"Yes."
We reach a landing with a long corridor stretching a head, doors lining both sides like sealed secrets. He exhales "A few," he says. "But none of them meant anything, honestly."
I almost laugh, almost. Instead my chest tightens, not understanding why the surge of jealousy is roaming through me so fiercely.
"You're telling me I'm the only one who matters," I say, "but you can't even give me a straight answer."
He steps closer, lowering his voice as if the castle itself might judge him. "I'm trying to tell you that you're it for me. Why drag ghosts through halls that don't exist anymore?"
Because I can hear them, see them walking around I think. Every female staff member looks at him as if they already had him.
"So I'm supposed to believe I'm the exception," I say softly. "The one who made you forget everyone else." I want to believe him. But belief shouldn't feel like wandering a castle full of locked rooms.
He reaches for my hand, I let him take it. "I've never brought a female to the royal wing." My eyes widened.
"Never?" I whisper.
Shaking his head, giving me a sly smirk. "There has never been someone I and my wolf deemed worthy of."
In his words, something in my chest expands and a bit of my concern evaporates.
"How about you?" His voice came strong piercing through my thoughts. "You asked me, it's only fair that I ask the same. I'm not judging, just curious." He says looking down at me from the corner of his eye.
We turn a corner to a long corridor with multiple closed doors. He stops us in front of one, raising one eye brow in question.
"Oh, I um." Stumbling on my next words. "I had one serious relationship."
"Mmmh" He grunts. "And sex?"
I swallow hard, my fingers twisting together as I look anywhere but at him. "There is something you should know actually," I say quietly, my voice shaking "I've never been with anyone before, sexually that is."
His breath hitches, brows lifting in disbelief. "How is that possible," he asks gently, "when you just told me you were in a serious relationship before me?"
"Oh well, that's simple. Ryan, my ex. He was supposed to be me first." I started.
Kieran grimaced out a growl, ignoring his reaction. "Like I said, I had trusted him with that and on Valentine's Day of all days, I was ready to finally give it to him. Instead, I walked into the truth-him tangled up with Seraphina. Alpha Jered's daughter. The one who was all over you at the party. Goddess, I still hear her laughter ringing in the room like it hadn't just shattered me." His jaw tightens, a sharp line carved into his face, and his eyes darken with something fierce and unrestrained. I can see the anger burning there- not for himself, but for me like the idea of someone hurting me that way is something he can't forgive.
"I would never do that to you," he says, his voice steady but thick with feeling. "I would cherish you always, protect you and never let you doubt for a moment that you are safe with me."
My heart swells painfully at his words, like something bruised inside me is learning, for the first time, how to feel loved without fear.