As I open the door, I'm not sure what bothered me more, her questioning me earlier or learning about what her scumbag ex did to her.
'We should find him and hang him by the balls in the middle of his pack.' Cade growled in my head. Frankly I do not disagree with him. Hanging him from his balls seemsto be too much of a light punishment for hurting our mate. The female should pay as well, she probably knew the male was taken, disgusting.
The door to my chambers stands open behind me, light spilling into the corridor like an invitation. I'd imagained this moment differently, her stepping inside without hesitation, the quiet beginning of us settling into place as naturally as breathing, just as any fated mates who just found each other. "You must be tired," I say. "We can rest now."
She doesn't move. Panic starts to boil in me. Cade starts pacing inside my head wondering what is wrong with out mate. Does she not want us any more?
Her hands fold together, then unfold, then fold again. She's nervous. I recogize it's hard for her to meet my eyes. " I–I know this might sound strange," she says, voice thin but sincere, "but things feel… fast. Not wrong. Just fast." She swallows. "Would it be alright if I had my own room? Just for now? So we can … learn each other a little more."
For a moment, my heart sinks, but I try not to let it show. I had hoped being here meant we were going to be together, mated. Come together as one, letting me mark her as mine. Isnt that what fated mates do the moment they meet? I did just take her out of her pack, although she was running away. Did she leave with me because she had no other choice? No, a small quiet sadness settles in my chest, not anger, not rejection, just an ache of wanting.Wanting her but not wanting to push her to fast either.
I sigh.
She is not pulling away, I tell myself. She is asking to feel safe. I am her mate that is my job, to make sure she feels safe. I reassure myself.
I nod slowly. "Thank you for telling me," I say, meaningfully, truly. "You don't owe me readiness, only honestly is what I ask for and I will give the same."
Relief softens her shoulders.
I lift my hand and brush my thumb gently over her knuckles, give the back of her hand a light kiss, grounding more myself then her I believe. Then I tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, careful dragging my thumb along her cheek, feeling her warmth skin, wanting to worship her even with the slightlest touch. I feel her shiver and let a small gasp escape under said touch and it brings a smile to my lips. "We'll do this at your pace," I add quietly. "I want you to choose me, not feel obligated or pushed towards me."
I guide her down the corridor, just a few steps, to the room besides mine. I open the door for her, resting my hand at the small of her back, a promise of protection. A promise that will be here, waiting.
As she steps inside, she turns around giving me a small smile and before she closes the door she says,
"Goodnight Kieran."
"Rest easy, Little Wolf." I whisper onto a closed wooden door.
I still feel the sadness still lingering there, but layered now something steadier.
Trust takes time.
And I am willing to wait.
I stand there long after her door closes, my palm still hovering where her warmth lingered, as if the air itself remembers the feel of her. The corridor feels suddenly colder, emptier. Cade presses close to the surface of my mind, not snarling now, not raging,just watchful, thinking.
'She's afraid,' he murmurs, not accusing. Observant.
'I know,' I whisper back, rubbing a hand over my jaw. Fear I can handle. Fear I understand. What bothers me is how used to it she seems. Like caution has been carved into her bones. As if her whole life, she has been on edge, watchful of every step she makes.
I walk back into my chambers slowly, shutting the door behind me. The room feels wrong without her in it although she's never been in it,too large, too still. The bed, meant for rest, looks like an accusation. I exhale sharply and loosen my cuffs, the weight of the crown suddenly heavier than steel.
I've commanded armies. Broken Alphas with a look. Bent entire councils to my will. Yet one small woman, with tired eyes and a guarded heart, has reduced me to patience and prayer.
Cade settles, approval humming low. 'You did right.'
'I had to,'I answered.'If I take from her before she's ready, I become no better than the men who taught her to be afraid, right?'
That thought alone makes my blood simmer.
I cross to the window, looking out over the moonlit grounds. Somewhere, just a wall away, she is breathing, safe. The bond between us hums softly now,not blazing, not demanding,just there. A thread.Constanly pulling us together.
I press my palm to my chest where it aches, not with pain, but with want held carefully in check.Wanting her laughter without tension, her touch without flinching. Wanting her to look at me one day and know she belongs,not because of fate, not because of the power, but because she chose me.