INT. PADDY'S PUB — LATER
(The bar is… slightly less awful. Still awful. But less "Victorian illness" and more "recently mopped crime." Tape everywhere. The smell is now a confusing blend of bleach, beer, and ancient regret.)
(Reigen stands at a wobbly table with a handwritten sign: "SPIRIT CONSULTATION — WALK-INS.")
(Dennis has added another sign: "NO REFUNDS.")
(Frank has added: "PREMIUM AVAILABLE.")
(Mac has added: "DISCIPLESHIP INQUIRE WITH MAC.")
(Charlie has added nothing, but he's holding a kitchen knife like it's a dowsing rod.)
REIGEN
Alright. Consultation rules. One problem per person.
If you cry, that's extra.
If you bleed, that's… extremely extra.
(Door opens. BEN THE SOLDIER stomps in, rigid, intense, wearing fatigues like it's a Tuesday.)
BEN
I heard you got a guy that can clear spirits.
(Dennis lights up.)
DENNIS
Oh! Great! A customer with a neck!
BEN
No, man— battle spirits.
Ever since I came back, I hear… whispers.
(Charlie immediately leans in, thrilled.)
CHARLIE
Yeah dude that's ghosts. That's classic ghosts.
(Reigen nods slowly, already cooking the scam.)
REIGEN
That sounds like… residual spiritual trauma.
(Ben relaxes. A little.)
BEN
Yes. Exactly. That's what my therapist said before I bit him.
(Reigen keeps smiling.)
REIGEN
Okay. Great. Let's do a reading.
(Reigen pulls out a tiny handheld CO monitor from his bag. It beeps softly. To the Gang it looks like ghost tech.)
MAC(awed whisper)
He has a spirit scanner.
DENNIS
That's a… device.
REIGEN(smooth)
This measures… invisible pressure in the air.
(Reigen holds it near a wall. It spikes. The device BEEPS. Coincidence #1 lands like a punch.)
DEE
Oh my God. It's reacting to the bar.
REIGEN
Yes.
This building is… emotionally saturated.
(Charlie points at a stain.)
CHARLIE
That's where Frank sweated through a suit.
(Door opens again. LIAM and RYAN McPOYLE shuffle in, damp and confident.)
LIAM McPOYLE
We have been cursed.
RYAN McPOYLE
A milk curse.
(Dee recoils.)
DEE
Why are they wet.
LIAM McPOYLE
We are not wet. We are… blessed.
RYAN McPOYLE(pulling out a jug)
We brought our own purity.
(Reigen stares. Processes. Chooses a safer lie.)
REIGEN
Okay. Yep. That's… a lot.
(Frank's eyes sparkle.)
FRANK
Premium customers.
DENNIS
They are not premium. They are… mildew.
(Mac immediately "protects" Reigen.)
MAC
Back off. He's a spiritual professional.
LIAM McPOYLE
We can smell his weakness.
(Reigen doesn't flinch. He has sold confidence to worse.)
REIGEN
Alright. Milk curse. Battle ghosts.
This is— (he gestures at the room) —a strong start for Philadelphia.
(Charlie breathes in like he's tasting air.)
CHARLIE
Wait— wait— I smell somethin'… weird.
(Coincidence #2: a rat scuttles out of a hole, trips over tape, and faceplants directly into the CURSE ZONE.)
CHARLIE
SEE?! THE CURSE IS SENDING MINIONS!
(Reigen doesn't miss a beat. He taps the CO monitor at the rat like it's an exorcism wand.)
REIGEN
Small manifested entity. Common in haunted sites.
DENNIS
That's a rat.
REIGEN
Yes. A rat spirit.
(Frank leans in, whispering.)
FRANK
Charge extra for rat spirits.
REIGEN(without looking)
Already doing it.
(Dee starts filming, delighted.)
DEE
This is insane. This is like… "Ghost Therapy Bar." This is huge.
(Reigen grabs Dee's phone for half a second, adjusts her angle, hands it back.)
REIGEN
Higher. Always higher.
(Dee stares at the improved framing. She hates him for being right.)
DEE
…You son of a bitch.
SMASH CUT TO BLACK.