INT. PADDY'S PUB — MOMENTS LATER
(The fire is now a Real Problem. Customers cluster near the door like birds in a burning coop. Dee's delighted. The Lawyer's furious. Frank waves the fan like it's an exorcism. Dennis is trying to "manage" physics.)
LAWYER
This is arson by incompetence!
DENNIS
No one is arsoning! We are managing an incident!
(Reigen steps forward, hands up, calm voice—he's about to do the classic "big psychic moment" con.)
REIGEN
Everyone—breathe. Controlled breathing lowers panic. Panic feeds the fire.
MAC
Fire is a spirit.
REIGEN
Sure. The fire spirit. Great.
(The FRONT DOOR opens.)
(MOB (SHIGEO KAGEYAMA) enters quietly carrying a bag of cheesesteaks and a soft pretzel like a kid who got sent on an errand and accidentally walked into hell. He pauses, taking in the room's chaos with polite confusion.)
MOB
Reigen? I got the food.
(Frank sees Mob. His entire body flashes back to "random Japanese men" trauma. He screams like his heart just filed a complaint.)
FRANK(screaming)
MY HEART! I SWEAR TO GOD!
DENNIS(shouting over him)
Oh calm down Frank! It's a small child not a gangster!
(Mob blinks, politely confused. The fire flares again, hungry for attention.)
MOB(soft)
…Is that supposed to be happening.
(Reigen, in a split-second, decides: Mob must not become "evidence." Reigen throws his whole body into performance mode.)
REIGEN(too loud, performing)
Everyone stay back! I will contain the spirit flame!
(He raises his hand dramatically—)
(—and in the same instant, Mob's eyes sharpen, just a fraction. The flame SNAPS DOWN like someone turned the volume knob to zero. Smoke pulls upward in a neat column like it's obeying etiquette. Loose papers stop fluttering and settle gently. The whole bar… exhales.)
(Nobody clocks "psychic power." They clock "vibes." They clock "authority." They clock "that guy's got it.")
BEN(whispering, awed)
That was… clean.
LIAM McPOYLE(fearful)
The air obeys the boy.
RYAN McPOYLE
He is… dry.
DEE(furious, to her phone)
This is gonna get demonetized.
(The Lawyer stares, shaken despite himself. He tries to turn his disbelief into anger, but it wobbles.)
LAWYER
…What the hell was that.
DENNIS(immediately, on autopilot)
Professional service. We hired a professional.
(Reigen rides the moment, nodding like he absolutely did that on purpose.)
REIGEN
Yes. Exactly. High-level containment. Very advanced.
(gentler)
Now—everyone breathe. In. Hold. Out. Hold.
(People actually follow, because the room just watched a "miracle," and humans are gullible meat.)
(The Waitress takes a breath. Her shoulders drop. She hates that it works.)
WAITRESS
…Okay.
(beat)
I hate that I feel better.
(Charlie looks like he might cry, but he refuses to because he's trying to be "normal.")
CHARLIE(soft, hopeful)
Is that… a good son moment?
WAITRESS
Don't push it.
(Reigen gently herds Mob toward the back like he's hiding a nuclear reactor behind a child's smile.)
REIGEN(low, to Mob)
Good job. Don't do that again.
MOB
But it was on fire.
REIGEN
Yes. And this is America. Fire is part of the experience.
(Frank peeks out from behind a stool, alive and resentful.)
FRANK
So the kid's with you? He's like… your apprentice?
REIGEN
Yes. He's— (glances at Mob) —my intern.
DENNIS
We don't have interns.
REIGEN
I do.
(The Lawyer regains enough dignity to remember he hates them.)
LAWYER
You're still getting sued eventually.
DENNIS
Get in line.
(Reigen smiles, turns to leave like a magician after the trick.)
REIGEN
Wonderful. My invoice will be sent digitally.
(Frank's head snaps.)
FRANK
Wait—invoice?
REIGEN
Yes. Spiritual containment. Mold mitigation. Fire spirit suppression. Emotional coaching.
(pleasant)
And lunch procurement.
(He pats the cheesesteak bag like it's a holy relic.)
SMASH CUT TO BLACK.
MID-CREDITS
INT. PADDY'S PUB — LATER
(The Gang cleans up. The bar is… shockingly clean. It feels wrong. Like someone power-washed their personality.)
DEE
I hate it. It looks like a place where people make good choices.
MAC
I feel spiritually naked without mold.
(Charlie sniffs the air, upset.)
CHARLIE
Where's the wet history.
(Dennis finds a folded paper on the bar. He opens it. His face drops like he just read his own obituary.)
DENNIS
Oh.
(Frank snatches it.)
FRANK
What is it—
(Frank's eyes widen. Then he starts shaking with rage like his blood is writing a complaint.)
FRANK
THAT'S A BILL! THAT'S A HUGE BILL!
DEE
Read it!
(Frank reads, outraged, jabbing at each line like it personally robbed him.)
FRANK
"SPIRIT CONSULTATION SERVICES:
—Miasma Removal
—Curse Neutralization
—Premium Fire Spirit Containment—"
(Dennis snaps like a trap closing.)
DENNIS
HE SAID PREMIUM. HE USED PREMIUM AGAINST US.
(Mac stares, reverent.)
MAC
He weaponized Frank's language.
CHIRP.
(They all freeze. The CO detector starts chirping again. Of course.)
CHARLIE(whispering)
…the curse is back.
DENNIS
It's the battery.
(From outside, faintly, Mob's calm voice through the door.)
MOB (O.S.)
Reigen? The beep is starting again.
(A tiny, invisible click in the air. The chirp stops.)
(Beat.)
DEE
Okay. That kid's definitely doing something.
DENNIS
No. He's not. He's a small child. Children don't do anything.
(Frank stares at the bill like it's a death sentence.)
FRANK
I'm gonna die.
CUT TO BLACK.