INT. PADDY'S PUB — LATER
(Paddy's has been "organized" in the way only idiots organize: tape on the floor, hand-lettered signs, and absolute confidence.)
(A taped square: CURSE ZONE.)
(Another: BREATH ZONE.)
(Another: LEGAL ZONE (Dennis added this).)
(A tiny one behind Frank's office door: PREMIUM (Frank added this).)
(Reigen holds a clipboard. Dennis watches him like a rival predator — not threatened by power, threatened by attention.)
DENNIS
Explain what you're going to do. In detail. With credentials. And don't do any… hand-waving.
REIGEN
Of course. First— I assess spiritual pressure.
(Mac leans toward Dennis, whispering like he's receiving sacred scripture.)
MAC
He said pressure. That's real. That's science. That's warrior science.
(Reigen takes one slow, professional sniff of the air. His expression doesn't change, but his soul flinches.)
REIGEN
Second— I determine whether the "spiritual pressure" is… spiritual.
(He calmly walks behind the bar. Crouches. Peeks under a warped floorboard edge. His eyes hit a carpet of black fuzz.)
REIGEN
…Oh.
CHARLIE
Oh what? Oh demon?
(Reigen chooses his words carefully, because he can smell a lawsuit forming in the corner.)
REIGEN
Oh… mold.
(Dennis immediately tries to steal authority back, like a man slapping a lid on a boiling pot.)
DENNIS
So you're saying it's not a curse. It's structural decay.
REIGEN
It presents as a curse. And honestly? For liability purposes? It's better if we call it a curse.
(Frank nods. This is the first sane thing anyone has ever said to him.)
FRANK
Curses are clean. Mold is lawsuits.
DEE
Wait— so you're going to fake an exorcism to cover up a health hazard?
REIGEN
Yes.
(Dee's eyes light up. Her morals are quiet; her content brain is screaming.)
DEE
Okay that's actually—
DENNIS(snaps)
NO. Don't compliment him. Don't feed him.
(Mac is already flexing.)
MAC
So you need… an assistant. A disciple. A holy warrior. I can be your blade.
(Reigen sees Mac's biceps and delusion and decides instantly: easy labor, easy control.)
REIGEN
Yes. You.
MAC
YES.
(Reigen claps once, shifting gears. The scam changes shape: not "breath class," but "business.")
REIGEN
Here's the deal. You want an exorcism? Fine.
But I want something too.
(Dennis narrows his eyes.)
DENNIS
Oh. Here it is. The scam. The pitch.
REIGEN
I prefer "service."
I'm opening a temporary Philadelphia branch.
In this bar.
For one day.
(Everyone reacts at once.)
DEE
A pop-up?!
FRANK
A cash grab?!
MAC
A dojo?!
CHARLIE
A ghost court?!
DENNIS
My bar is not a branch of anything.
REIGEN
Then you can keep inhaling wall fungus like it's a lifestyle choice.
(Dennis flinches. That sentence hits a Dennis fear: "involuntary ugliness.")
DENNIS
Fine. One day. But I run it.
REIGEN
No. You… host it.
(Reigen turns to Dee.)
REIGEN
You. Phone lady. You get people in the door.
DEE
Excuse me— I'm a creator.
(Reigen glances at her camera angle, automatic.)
REIGEN
You're shooting from below. It's— how do I say this gently— bird crime.
DEE
Fuck you! I don't take shitty pictures!
REIGEN
Aim higher. Slight tilt. Stop doing the "sad wellness mouth." You look like a pelican that lost custody.
(Dee freezes, furious because it's correct.)
DEE
…Go give a homeless person a bath or whatever you do!
REIGEN(pleasant)
I will. In fact— I'm about to bathe this bar.
(Frank points at the tiny square labeled PREMIUM like it's a sacred altar.)
FRANK
Do we offer tiers?
REIGEN
Absolutely not.
FRANK
Okay, but what if we call them "spiritual intensities."
(Reigen pauses. He can see it: money. He can also see it: death.)
REIGEN
…We'll discuss after I stop your building from becoming a mushroom.
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. PADDY'S PUB — SHORTLY AFTER
(Reigen is now in "equipment": rubber gloves, a cheap mask, and—because Mac insisted—an apron that Mac has declared "PSYCHIC ARMOR." Mac is wearing half a maid outfit over his tank top like it's tactical. He looks proud and deeply wrong.)
MAC(saluting)
I am ready to purge.
REIGEN
You are ready to wipe.
(They start cleaning. It is not glamorous. It is disturbingly necessary.)
(Reigen lifts a rag that disintegrates slightly.)
REIGEN(muttering as he scrubs)
How is this place not already condemned…
CHIRP.
(Reigen looks up. The CO detector chirps again like it's laughing at him.)
REIGEN
It's taunting me.
(Mac's eyes widen like he's watching an exorcism duel.)
MAC
The curse resists!
REIGEN
Sure, Mac. The curse resists. Hand me the bleach.
(Reigen smacks a label onto a spray bottle: "SPIRIT NEUTRALIZER." It's just bleach.)
REIGEN
Congratulations. That's our holy water.
SMASH TO BLACK.