Abdullah spent the next few days doing what he always did—going to school, going to soccer training, keeping himself busy. In between, he started playing Roblox with Arham again.
"Yo bro, let's play this game," Arham said over the call.
"Dude, I'm not playing Poop Simulator," Abdullah replied.
"It's actually good, man," Arham insisted.
The next day, Ali told him, "There's a match this weekend. Lock in—it's your first one. Don't stress though, you'll probably only get like five minutes of game time."
The day before the match, Abdullah was sitting in the living room, playing a game on his phone, when he heard his mum talking on the phone.
"Why are you calling me? It's four a.m. there. What happened?" she said.
Abdullah shrugged it off and kept playing. But five minutes later, he heard screaming.
He rushed over with Ali.
Their mother was crying uncontrollably, repeating the same words over and over.
"No… no… no…"
"Mama, what's wrong? Please," Abdullah and Ali begged.
"CALL YOUR DAD RIGHT NOW," she screamed."HE NEEDS TO COME HOME IMMEDIATELY. RIGHT NOW."
They called him.
"Baba, something's wrong with Mom," Abdullah said desperately. "She said you need to come right now."
Their father arrived quickly. He and their mother spoke in the other room. Then Abdullah was called in.
The moment he saw his father's face, something inside him sank.
It was a look far too familiar.
"What's wrong, Dad?" Abdullah asked, his voice breaking.
"Your Big Nano passed away," his father said.
Abdullah froze.
His body refused to move. His heart dropped into his stomach. His throat felt heavy, like it was closing in on itself.
No. This can't be. I talked to her just last week. She wasn't even sick.This can't be happening. Not again.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" Abdullah shouted."WHEN DID SHE DIE? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?"
"All of a sudden she felt a sharp pain," his father said."They called an ambulance, but they didn't make it to the hospital in time. Her heart stopped."
Abdullah started shaking violently. His legs gave out, and he dropped to his knees.
A scream tore out of his chest—raw, broken, blood-curdling.
It filled the house.
He kept screaming. Again and again. Until his throat went dry. Until his voice cracked. Until the sound barely came out at all.
His father rushed over and wrapped him in a tight hug.
"It's okay, my boy," he said softly.
The next day, Abdullah still had to go to the match.
He sat on the bench for most of it, staring into nothing, lost in his thoughts.
Why couldn't I cry?Why couldn't I shed a tear?All I could do was scream.What's wrong with me?
Near the end, he was finally called on—for two minutes.
Then it was over.
In the locker room, Joe clapped his hands.
"I think we can all agree Abdullah was the man of the match. What a debut."
"Thanks," Abdullah replied flatly.
On his way out, Matthew stopped him.
"Good work out there."
"I didn't even do anything," Abdullah said.
"Yeah," Matthew replied, "but I could see you were still trying."
That night, Abdullah came home and asked his mum if he could lie with her.
"Mama… can we go to Pakistan again? Like… after what happened, aren't we gonna go?"
"I wish we could," she said softly. "But we didn't know this would happen. We just can't right now."
"Mama… why does it feel like every time we leave Pakistan, something bad happens?"
"It's not our fault," she said. "Life just happens like that."
"But imagine how sad everyone is," Abdullah said."I could be there. I could make them happy."
"Listen," his mum said gently."I know how much you care. How deeply you feel. You're a sensitive boy, Abdullah. But most people aren't like you. They don't care as much."
"You're special. You have a kind heart. A lot of people in this world are cruel and evil. You don't need to care about them. The ones who will always love you are your parents and your nanos and your grandpa."
"What are you saying?" Abdullah asked, tears forming."That they don't care about me?"
"That's not what I mean," she said."But look at how much you hurt for others. How many people do you think would do the same for you? You don't need to care so deeply for people who don't care the same way."
"My friends care about me," Abdullah said firmly."They're good friends. What's wrong with me caring? That's just who I am."
"And my family would never do anything bad to me. They love me."
"I'm not saying they don't," she said."But you need to be careful. The only people you can trust fully are your mom and dad. No one will ever love you the way we do."
"You're my everything, Abdullah. If anything ever happened to you, a part of me would die too."
She paused, then continued.
"Your dad's brother… after he died, his kids betrayed your father. He loved them, but they didn't care. And Sara's father's family—they say horrible things about your dad just because he supported Maryam."
"What?" Abdullah snapped."Dad never did anything to them. Fuck them. They can all go to hell."
He changed the topic.
"How did Big Nano die so suddenly? Were there no signs? How did this happen?"
"She was sick for a while," his mum said quietly."We didn't want you to worry. It was to protect you."
Abdullah felt like something inside him shattered.
"Why?" he said."You didn't protect me. Maybe if I knew, it wouldn't have hurt this much. You made it worse."
"What else have you been keeping from me?" he asked."What else have you been lying about?"
"We weren't lying," she cried."We thought it was for the best. I didn't want to see you hurt like this."
"If you want to make it up to me," Abdullah said, "tell me the truth."
She took a deep breath.
"your first nano she".
"We knew she was going to pass away. We tried everything. But her condition got so bad that all she wanted was to go home. She was in a lot of pain."
"The doctors sent her home so she could be with her family. She passed away in her sleep. Peacefully."
Tears streamed down Abdullah's face. He covered it with his hands, but they wouldn't stop.
"Show me," he said."I'll handle it."
"No, Abdullah—"
"Please, Mama. I need to see."
She showed him a video—his Nano, sitting with Uncle Tariq.
"What happened to her body?" Abdullah asked.
"It started bloating," she said. "She gained a lot of mass."
"And the tubes?"
"For breathing. IV drips."
"How," Abdullah cried,"HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL US?"
"Did we not deserve to know? Did I not deserve to know?"
"You didn't protect me," he said."You made everything worse."
His mother broke down, apologizing over and over.
"I'm sorry… I didn't know… I didn't want it to end up like this…"
Abdullah wiped his tears.
"It's okay," he said quietly. "Now I know the truth."
He went to his room. and said.
"I'm going to sleep."
But he didn't sleep.
He lay there, scrolling through his phone.
"I just want to talk to someone." he thought.
He went through his friends list.
Then he stopped.
Sara.
He typed:
"hey can we"
talk…