Abdullah woke up and reached for his phone, hesitating before unlocking it.
There was a message from Sara.
"Sorry about the outburst yesterday. I kinda just lost my cool. It's not something I really wanna talk about, but I'm fine, alright?"
Abdullah stared at the screen for a second before replying.
"Okay, I believe you. I was just worried, you know?"
"Yeah, but you don't need to worry. Just try and drop it, alright?"
"Okay. I'll try."
For the next few days, Abdullah couldn't fully drop it.
Instead, he started researching.
He searched things like:
Signs of depression
How to help a suicidal friend
How to support someone with anxiety
He watched videos about anxiety, PTSD, depression — different illnesses, different symptoms. He wasn't sure what exactly was going on, and he didn't want to assume anything. He just wanted to help. Even if it was in some small way.
He didn't know how.
But he wanted to try.
One day, he was talking to Sara when she sent him a TikTok.
It was some Spanish guy — blonde hair, blue eyes.
"He's so cute," she said.
"Who's that?"
"He's from Spain and stuff. I wish I could go to Spain."
"I mean, even if you did go to Spain, what are the odds you'd actually meet him? And even if you did, what are the odds he'd pick you? He has millions of likes and followers. He probably has better choices."
"Ugh, shut up. I know the odds aren't good. Let me dream. Stop ruining the delusion."
"Sorry," Abdullah replied.
Another day, Abdullah messaged Sara.
She responded:
"Who are you?"
His stomach dropped.
Who's talking to me? he thought.
"I'm her mom's cousin. I'm not super old. Who are you?"
"I'm her dad. How old are you, boy?"
Abdullah's heart thudded.
"I'm 14."
"Ah, alright. Well, Sara's busy. She's been doing a lot of football lately. She's an active girl."
Abdullah slowly relaxed.
He seems chill? he thought.
"Oh, alright. That's fine."
The next day, Abdullah was walking around town when he passed a store entirely dedicated to ducks.
Rubber ducks.
He stared at it.
A whole store for ducks? How many people realistically need a rubber duck?
He chuckled to himself.
Later, he told Sara about it.
"Who's gonna be buying rubber ducks?"
"ME. I LOVE RUBBER DUCKS."
Of course she did. he thought.
That night, she sent him a snap. She was sitting alone in the dark.
"Why don't you sit with your brother or your mom?" Abdullah asked.
"I just like being by myself."
"Doesn't it get lonely?"
"I don't like being around people sometimes. I just like being alone."
Abdullah paused.
"Fair enough."
But he didn't really understand.
The next day, he decided to tell her about the conversation with her dad.
"It was kinda odd, I can't lie. I got scared. I didn't know what to expect from your dad. He actually seemed really chill."
Sara instantly snapped.
"What did you think he was gonna be? Some prick?"
"No — I'm saying he was chill."
"Yeah, that's what they all say. 'Didn't know what to expect.' Just shut up."
"Why are you getting mad at me? I didn't even say anything bad."
"Stop chatting shit about my dad you prick. Just fuck off."
"You're not even listening to me."
"I don't even wanna go to your country. Irish cunt"
"What are you talking about? I'm Pakistani. I just live in Ireland."
"Yeah, and that makes you Irish."
"So what does that have to do with anything?"
"Just leave me alone, you freak."
There was a pause.
"Fine."
They didn't talk the next day.
Abdullah thought about it.
Then he realised — two days left until they arrived.
His chest tightened. "only 2 more days."
That evening, she messaged him.
"Can we just stop the beef? We're gonna see each other soon anyway."
"You're the one who made it a problem. I don't have a problem."
"Yeah, well stop pissing me off and we won't have a problem."
"I'm not trying to."
"Alright. So it's sorted."
Just like that.
As if nothing happened.
She started showing him birthday presents her family was getting her. Clothes. Shoes. Random stuff she liked.
Abdullah thought about it for a while.
Maybe he should get her something too.
A peace offering.
The next day, he went back to the duck store.
He stood there for a good five minutes before choosing one.
A Donald Trump rubber duck.
It was stupid.
It was random.
It felt funny.
Finally, the day came.
Abdullah drove to the airport with his dad.
His hands felt slightly cold the whole ride there.
They stood by the arrivals gate.
And then—
The doors slid open.
Sara.
Sarfaraz.
Maryam.
Walking out with their luggage.
Abdullah looked through the window of his car and saw her
"looks like she's"
here...