Rain pattered softly. Inside LeBlanc Café, the air carried the damp, earthy scent of wet soil mixed with the smoky fragrance of roasted coffee beans.
"We can't swap back."
Staring at those words on the phone screen, Herta—currently wearing Bai Qian's body—didn't panic like an ordinary person. She didn't fling the phone in rage, either.
But she was irritated.
Was it the body? After swapping, she clearly wasn't as calm as before. It was like she'd suddenly turned into an idiot who got emotionally swayed at the slightest thing.
Her fingers tapped the wooden counter unconsciously.
The situation was absurd, but as a member of the Genius Society, Herta knew one thing well: useless rage solved nothing.
If he said "can't swap back right now," instead of "can't ever swap back," then this was a technical problem.
And if it was a technical problem, there was always a solution.
Besides—if this "Phantom Thieves' Lao Da" person hadn't interfered, she would probably be in the middle of cracking whatever message Nous had left behind, marching down the path of self-destruction without looking back.
He'd saved her life. That was a massive debt.
Herta didn't like owing favors—especially to a stranger she'd never even met.
As a Genius Society member, she knew the universe was vast and full of strange phenomena, but everything still had an underlying logic.
There were no absolutely irreversible phenomena—only principles not yet understood.
[Pointy-Hat Lady]: If this is a joke, it's a low-grade one, and it isn't funny. If it isn't… then what price do I have to pay to swap back? Or are you just enjoying the thought of me panicking?
[Phantom Thieves' Lao Da]: Don't panic yet—I'm panicking too. I'm guessing you're probably totally confused. Based on my past experience helping people, I should've appeared next to you. Worst case, I should've dropped straight into your cognitive palace. But this time something went wrong.
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: The moment someone says "based on experience," I know something's about to go sideways.
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: Why am I the only normal person here?! I want a less-normal worldview too!
[Phantom Thieves' Lao Da]: You're not normal. You'll become a god! Go—form a band again!
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: ?
Toyokawa Sakiko sat at her desk and slowly typed a single question mark.
What did he mean she'd become a god?
If she were going to become a god, would she still be here chewing on a convenience-store bento while listening to endless whining on the phone?
Forget becoming a god—she'd be happy with the ability to slap people through an internet cable!
She didn't want customers asking her how to unzip an installation package, why online unzip required membership, or whether they could refund their membership after paying… only to accuse her of bad attitude and file complaints!
And how did this guy know she'd been in a band?
[Pointy-Hat Lady]: So what's the reason we can't swap back? Is the mental link severed? Or is your "method" flawed?
[Pointy-Hat Lady]: You said you can enter my cognitive palace… I don't know what that is, but if I assume you're using something like phase traversal, can you send me the principle?
[Phantom Thieves' Lao Da]: I don't understand. Can you speak human?
Herta wanted to crush the phone in her hand—but this was the man's phone. If she crushed it, there'd be nowhere to file reimbursement.
No, Herta. You're not like this. You aren't this emotional. It's just this body messing with you!
She took a few deep breaths, and the chat popped again.
[Phantom Thieves' Lao Da]: Simple version: I can enter the cognitive world of someone whose desires have twisted their perception. Normally, after I "change their heart"—meaning I erase the root of the distortion—I can slip back out through the exit. But this time, something went wrong.
[Tohsaka Rin]: "Change their heart"… that sounds kind of suspicious. Uh… it's not what I'm thinking, is it?
[Phantom Thieves' Lao Da]: It's exactly what you're thinking. But normally, it only turns people into more positive versions of themselves.
[Want Campus Springtime With Mei]: Wait, I just saw this! A body swap? Then doesn't that mean you're a girl right now?
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: Is that really the point?! …But yeah, I'm a little curious too.
[Pointy-Hat Lady]: Understood. I'll find a way. Until then, I can only live in this form.
[Phantom Thieves' Lao Da]: You're not mad at me?
Bai Qian was surprised.
After the initial shock, once Herta realized she couldn't return yet, she accepted reality with startling ease.
He'd expected at least a round of her venomous tongue.
[Pointy-Hat Lady]: I'm the one who asked for help. You came to help, and you succeeded. Why would I blame you? I don't do childish moral blackmail. You said yourself it was an accident.
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: So… is this body-swap thing really just going to… blow over like that?
[Want Campus Springtime With Mei]: Yeah. If I suddenly turned into a boy, I'd check the body structure first—cough—no, I mean, if we can't swap back, living would be really inconvenient, right?
[Phantom Thieves' Lao Da]: The real problem is what comes after. I still need to find a new high school and keep the shop running—what do I do?
[Pointy-Hat Lady]: You're saying I have to attend high school for you…? …Fine. I get it. I'll handle those annoying problems.
Herta rarely sighed, but she didn't know how to describe the feeling in her chest right now.
Letting her mingle with hormonal teenagers? She'd rather attend a meeting hosted by corporate executives who invited her as a guest.
This wasn't repayment. If "repaying" meant doing this, then the favor she owed would feel cheap—and so would she.
[Pointy-Hat Lady]: Also—you probably don't know how to manipulate Imaginary energy yet. It's dangerous outside. Don't do anything stupid with my body. And don't blow my cover. If anyone comes looking for you, ignore them. That's it. I'm off.
[Phantom Thieves' Lao Da]: Wait! One more thing—where is the Astral Express right now?!
No reply.
"Faster than a reporter."
Bai Qian flipped his middle finger at the dead screen.
The gesture looked utterly non-threatening when performed by a hand so delicate it resembled a crafted art piece.
Where was the Astral Express?
That question was extremely important.
He had zero desire to go to the "Iron Grave"—especially when he couldn't even use Herta's abilities yet.
That dread was worse than the absurdity of looking down and seeing a skirt hem… or raising a hand and touching the hat that somehow refused to fall off no matter how he shook.
Bai Qian sighed.
"Whatever."
The group chat had already derailed.
His earlier message had been buried by the scrolling flood of empty-calorie nonsense—pointless, yet somehow funny—until it didn't even leave a bubble behind.
Ding—
A crisp notification sound cut through Sakiko's muttering.
The phone vibrated. A popup filled the center of the screen.
[Notice: You successfully helped Herta escape immediate danger.]
[Reward: Group Points +100]
[Current Points Balance: 100]
"Compensation for emotional damages?"
Bai Qian raised an eyebrow.
But that wasn't the point.
Money—or currency—carried meaning in any world where trade existed.
He was the kind of man who, to buy healing items and the latest model gun kit, would crash through Shadows in Mementos at midnight just to see if gold would drop.
No money, no movement. That truth was baked into Bai Qian's DNA.
So what could 100 points do?
Could it buy an item that turned him back? Or let him redeem a one-way ticket home?
If he didn't figure this out, all this chaos would feel like doing unpaid labor for free.
He typed into the group:
[Phantom Thieves' Lao Da]: @All Members Can I ask something? What are these points used for?
The chat went quiet for a beat.
Then [Dragon Sis Is Dragon] replied.
[Dragon Sis Is Dragon]: Blind boxes. You earn points by completing commissions posted through the group.
[Dragon Sis Is Dragon]: The group shop only has one product right now: 50 points per blind box. If you pay more, you can buy higher-tier boxes. They might contain any item from a group member's world.
[Dragon Sis Is Dragon]: Last time I opened one, I got a baseball bat. It's really heavy… otherwise kind of useless.
[AAA Toyokawa Sakiko]: Points can also be used to send things to other group members. You can specify a specific item or send a "red packet." Small items don't cost points; price scales with quality and volume.
[Dragon Sis Is Dragon]: If points weren't so pathetic, I'd have traded for food already. Reunion Movement's still starving.
Blind boxes.
And shipping fees.
Bai Qian's eyelid twitched.
The stench was overpowering.
Gacha was already a cursed civilization. Blind boxes were the curse's cursed offspring.
You never knew whether that pretty package contained the artifact of your dreams… or a random nobody's worn sock.
And yet, humans could never resist the lure of randomness.
"I get it. This is how a gambling addict begins."
A violent war erupted in Bai Qian's mind.
I'm a mature Phantom Thief. I shouldn't pay for such low-level entertainment. I have more important things to do.
But then came the line that mattered:
Any item from a group member's world.
Any.
That could include a Honkai: Star Rail Light Cone. Relics. Maybe even absurd black-tech blueprints.
For his current situation, the temptation was… enormous.
"Ahem."
Bai Qian choked on his own thoughts.
His fingers, brutally honest, tapped the Group Shop icon.
A single, lonely product sat there: a colorful box with a question mark.
[Group Member World Specialty Blind Box — Standard]
Price: 50 Points
[Buy] [Cancel]
"This isn't my fault."
Enough.
"The system moved first. It's practically suggesting I pull once. If I don't pull, am I disrespecting its algorithm?"
A flawless excuse.
For gamers, free gems exist to be spent. Hoarding is for hamsters—and Phantom Thieves were never hamsters.
A Phantom Thief was: drink today, figure out jail tomorrow.
His finger pressed down.
No flashy mobile gacha animation. No shooting stars. No golden or purple glow blinding him.
Almost the instant he tapped, the icon shattered—turning into a cold, emotionless text prompt.
[Purchase Successful.]
[You received: Carefully Packaged Lettuce Sandwich (x1).]
[Source World: BanG Dream! It's MyGO!!!!!]
[Item Description: A convenience-store sandwich personally purchased and bitten once by a certain young lady. Forgotten on her desk due to sudden emotional turmoil or urgent business. Though it's been sitting for a while, the lettuce still retains a sorrowfully wilted vibe. Rumor has it: after eating it, there is a certain chance you will suddenly feel compelled late at night to recite poetry in front of that person.]
The world… fell silent.
Bai Qian stared at the thing that suddenly appeared in his hand.
Yes—in his hand. Not neatly stored in an inventory like a game item. It simply plopped into his palm.
-------
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