So we're at this part already?!
Bai Qian felt his excitement spike.
Of course it came!
A transmigrator's greatest cheat was never some "system"—it was information asymmetry.
Everyone knew it!
In group-chat stories, the one indispensable segment was always the same: spoilers. Just imagining the group members wailing and screaming because he knew things they didn't made Bai Qian feel the King's power trembling inside him!
I want to see blood flow like a river!
Bloodlust was humanity's true nature—wahahaha—if he got to see a scene like that, dying would be worth the ticket price!
So… how should he say it?
Should he become a prophet and spoil the future directly, acting like some omniscient god?
Or should he pretend to be a never-before-seen group owner and shadowy mastermind—say he'd been observing them for a long time—then demand "friendship fees" and squeeze everyone for coins?
Join the group and you pay tribute! Don't join and you still pay tribute! Leave the group and you pay even more tribute!
He curled his lip and began typing rapidly.
"Honestly, I wanted to get along with you as an ordinary group member… but all I got in return was distance and suspicion."
"Fine. I'm done pretending. I'll come clean!"
[Heart-Thief Crew Lao Da]: Good question.
[Heart-Thief Crew Lao Da]: The truth is—not just you. Everyone in this group… is an old acquaintance to me.
[Heart-Thief Crew Lao Da]: In my world, you're all… hmm, how do I put it.
[Heart-Thief Crew Lao Da]: You're all characters from games or anime.
[Heart-Thief Crew Lao Da]: To keep it simple for anyone who doesn't know what that means: I've seen the story of a certain period of your lives.
The group chat went dead quiet.
Like someone had cut the internet cable—so silent that even the usual lurkers didn't peep.
A full thirty seconds passed before anyone replied.
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: I understand. It's not hard to grasp. I accepted it instantly.
[Tohsaka Rin]: Really?
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: …Actually it just feels super embarrassing.
[Tohsaka Rin]: I don't really feel anything. I still have to prepare for the Holy Grail War, go to school, carve gems, and figure out whether I've been spending too much lately.
[Tohsaka Rin]: Those works probably only depict part of our lives and what happened, anyway.
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: The embarrassing part is that. Would anyone really enjoy watching me go back and forth between a rental room, my company, and school—three points in a line?
[Want Campus Springtime With Mei]: I understand everything now! So it's like Homu? It's adventuring in their world, but in someone else's world it becomes manga—
Seeing that even the paramecium understood, Bai Qian felt oddly relieved.
People who'd touched modern life processed new information fast—he didn't have to waste effort explaining further.
Herta would probably accept it right away too. Over on Talulah's side, even if she was in Ursus, Terra's tech tree was developed enough that she wouldn't act like some shocked caveman.
Which left only… that "Legendary Fireproof King," who still hadn't spoken.
Bai Qian couldn't tell which Fireproof King from the Lands Between he was dealing with.
There were too many absurd "fireproof legends" in that place.
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: I'm curious—am I the protagonist in your world? Will my side ever have those superpower battles?
[Heart-Thief Crew Lao Da]: Yes, you're a main character. As for your worldbuilding… hard to say. But if we don't count crossovers, I don't think there are superpowers. Just a normal modern world.
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: …That's a terrible review, you know? Then what kind of story is a world with me as the protagonist? A tragedy? A wholesome slice-of-life? Does it make money?
No battles, no superpowers—just a fallen noble girl trying to adapt to ordinary life, going to school while getting squeezed dry by a black-hearted capitalist, falling asleep the instant she sits down on public transport, wanting to get her father back on his feet but having no way to do it…
A daily-life anime like that?
Does it make money?
Who would even watch that?!
She'd been imagining some life-changing event, some mysterious power she could use to make money—and now this?
[Heart-Thief Crew Lao Da]: Why is your first thought whether it makes money? It makes a killing. The ending's basically a happy one.
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: People really watch that…? But doesn't that mean I spend my whole life being exploited by capitalists? That capitalist is way too evil!
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: I can't even picture what kind of story it is.
[Heart-Thief Crew Lao Da]: It's a happy ending. Stop asking.
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: But I'm really curious! Who wouldn't be curious about their own future?
[Tohsaka Rin]: I'm curious too—who actually wins the Holy Grail War? Can you upload my series into the group files so I can watch it?
[Heart-Thief Crew Lao Da]: …You're serious?
Bai Qian broke out in cold sweat.
By all rights, that was supposed to be a light, youthful, everyday music story. Even if there were frictions and regrets, it should've been everyone happily making music—laughter,青春, the whole package.
So why did this "everyday music story" turn the protagonist's childhood friend into a mountain of corpses and blood?
Why did the protagonist's teammates start thinking about pushing the childhood friend off something?
Why did the childhood friend have dissociative identity issues? He thought it was just one split persona—then someone told him it was an endless war god?!
Isn't this a slice-of-life?!
How the hell did "a bit of family drama" turn into this?!
Rin was whatever—but could Toyokawa Sakiko handle it?
Customer Service Sakiko was currently living in a world of brutal exploitation, struggling through school, going home to an alcoholic father, hiding under a tiny blanket and crying at night—
If she watched that story now, wouldn't she want to go downstairs… and skip both the stairs and the elevator?
[Tohsaka Rin]: It should be fine, right? This chat group can upload things. Even I can use it.
[Tohsaka Rin]: Open "Group Files"—the square icon. Don't go clicking random places. With or without network, as long as you can connect to a device, you can upload files from that device.
[Pointy-Hat Lady]: He only just swapped bodies with me. How would my universe have devices or internet storing that kind of stuff? Did you forget?
[Pointy-Hat Lady]: I also didn't find any records about me on this phone.
[Heart-Thief Crew Lao Da]: Strictly speaking, your world isn't my original world anymore. If you don't believe me, I have methods.
[Heart-Thief Crew Lao Da]: Toyokawa Sakiko. Born February 14, 2005. Former third-year student at Tsukinomori Girls' Academy. Schoolmates with Wakaba Mutsumi and Nagasaki Soyo. Later transferred to Haneoka Girls' Academy. Currently a first-year high school student. Your part-time job is at 2-25-7 Yoyogi, Shibuya, Tokyo—and right now you're cramped into 5-9-16 Higashi-Jūjō, Kita Ward, Tokyo…
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: NO!!!! I never said I didn't believe you, desu wa!!!!
Sakiko snapped.
What did it mean for gods to fight while she—a mere high school girl—caught the stray shockwaves?!
She'd been on the train, bored, checking the group chat for a second…
Then suddenly it was "future," "anime characters," "fate."
Girls were always curious about their destiny, curious what they'd run into—that was why she'd asked.
But she never said she didn't believe him! The one doubting was Pointy-Hat Lady!
So why was he doxxing her?!
[Want Campus Springtime With Mei]: Holy—he doxxed her!!
[Pointy-Hat Lady]: I can judge for myself. In my world there are devices that can project memories, but after swapping bodies I don't know if it'll still work. Just tell it verbally.
[Pointy-Hat Lady]: I think the future of the universe is uncertain, and I'm not interested in "fate," but if you want to talk, I can listen.
[Heart-Thief Crew Lao Da]: You? If this accident hadn't happened—after Nous calculated you—you would've gone to Ongpharos. Then the Garden of Recollection would've torn open Ongpharos's "window paper," and you would've been used as the missing head by Laigus—one ninth of Zandar—an Emanator of Destruction he created.
[Heart-Thief Crew Lao Da]: You'd become Emperor the Third, preparing to cleanse the entire universe in blood.
[Pointy-Hat Lady]: What kind of pus-leaking rot is that? Like something from a club of idiots! Was it just trying to verify something, or did it want me to stop it?
[Heart-Thief Crew Lao Da]: It's just because you dying counts as a good ending.
[Pointy-Hat Lady]: ???
[Pointy-Hat Lady]: …Alright, I get it now. It's like the random events in the Simulated Universe—just that I happened to be the one selected!
Even Herta—of all people—couldn't help wanting to go pick a fight with Nous on the spot.
She didn't doubt Bai Qian was telling the truth. This group chat couldn't be seen by anyone outside the group, couldn't be traced by anything—that fact alone said plenty.
Swapping her body right when she met Nous… "Lao Da" was definitely someone.
Even if it was some conspiracy, she'd accept it.
But if she didn't die?
Then just wait.
He'd have no good juice to drink for the rest of his life.
"Ding-ling-ling—"
Just then, the little wind chime at the entrance—the one she'd mocked—rang out.
Someone pushed in with a dripping umbrella.
Herta turned her head.
The movement was full of murderous intent—nothing like a shop clerk welcoming a customer.
Her mood was awful. Absolutely awful.
The person who walked in was a pink-haired girl in a school uniform, looking young. A blue and a yellow square hair clip pinned her bangs. Definitely a high school student. Her hair was a little wet from the rain, making her look slightly disheveled.
The moment she saw "Bai Qian" looking vicious, with no "welcome" tools in hand, she froze in the doorway, too scared to move.
[Image: Bocchi]
Was this guy's acquaintance?
Or just an unlucky passerby?
Just ask her name—then drop it in the group chat.
The words "Welcome" jammed in Herta's throat and refused to come out.
She'd agreed to help Bai Qian "live his life" over here, but as Genius Society's No. 83, saying service-industry fluff felt like an insult to her IQ.
But if she didn't handle it, the girl might call police—or become even more trouble.
"What's your name."
Cold enough to sound like: how would you like to die?
On the space station, whenever she asked that, even senior researchers would shake like leaves and confess everything like pouring beans from a bamboo tube.
The pink-haired girl clearly couldn't withstand that kind of pressure from someone "above."
"Eek!!!"
She let out a squeak like a cat getting its tail stepped on.
Then—like some switch had been flipped—her mouth started moving at high speed. Her speech was so fast it sounded like chanting, trembling hard.
"I-I-I'm so sorry! I-I'm Gotō Hitori! Sh-Shūka High School first-year! Sixteen years old! Blood type A! I live with my parents and a little sister! My guitar skills are really bad but I'm trying super hard to practice! I-I-I'm not in a club yet but I'll work hard to find a part-time job later, p-please don't kill me!!"
As she shouted, she fumbled for her pocket.
Her umbrella slipped from her hand and clattered to the floor, splashing water onto her pant legs.
She didn't even care. Shaking violently, she dug out an old wallet with a little yellow duck printed on it, then offered it to Herta with both hands like an offering.
"T-This has three thousand yen! It's my allowance for this month! I-If you don't mind, please use it to buy coffee beans! As long as you spare me and let me go home, I'll do anything! I'm really, really sorry for bothering your business!!"
Her head was bowed so low she looked like she wanted to shrink into a crack in the floor. She trembled at a visibly high frequency, like she might overload and melt into a puddle of pink liquid at any moment.
Herta stared blankly at the wallet and the soon-to-faint pink head.
What kind of creature was this?
These were high school students here?
She couldn't even be bothered to take the wallet.
"Put your money away. I'm not robbing you. I'm not interested in your résumé. Now turn around, leave, and close the door. We're not open today."
Gotō Hitori jerked her head up.
In her wet, terrified eyes, a brilliant light of survival erupted.
"Eh? Really? N-not killing—no, not open? That's great—ah, I mean, that's such a shame, I-I won't bother you!"
She bent, grabbed the umbrella at beyond-human speed, didn't even stop to shove the wallet back into her pocket—just clenched it in her hand and bolted.
She ran so fast she kicked up a gust.
At the door she even glanced back, confirming Herta wasn't chasing her, then muttered under her breath:
"Cafés really are scary… places where normies gather are terrifying… adults are terrifying… I'm never going outside again this week…"
And then—like a startled rabbit—she vanished into the rain.
The café returned to dead silence.
Only the entrance wind chime swayed from the little whirlwind and chimed with lingering after-notes.
"Shūka High School… what place is that? That's where we should send this guy. Didn't he say he was transferring schools and running a shop?"
Herta stared at the doorway for a moment, then lost interest. She lowered her eyes back to the phone.
The group chat was still updating nonstop.
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: Um… I do sympathize with Pointy-Hat Lady's situation, but…
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: If even cosmic gods are just characters in a story, then someone like me—who fights for a few hundred yen—doesn't that make me… kind of insignificant?
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: I feel like I've lost all motivation in life, desuwa…
[Heart-Thief Crew Lao Da]: Xiang-jie, no no no!!
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: ? Don't tell me—
[Heart-Thief Crew Lao Da]: I've realized it. There are no gods at all—so I'll become a god!
[Heart-Thief Crew Lao Da]: Guess who said that line?
"Next stop—"
A bad feeling crawled up Sakiko's spine.
The station announcement, mixed with the rumble of wheels on tracks, yanked Toyokawa Sakiko out of the bizarre chat window and back into reality.
"Become a god… me?"
She stared at the phone screen, fingers clenched so hard her knuckles went white.
She'd been exhausted from work and just wanted to go home—but in that moment, she felt no fatigue.
Only that earth-shaking line remained in her head:
So I'll become a god!
If that line was something Lao Da had said himself, there'd be no need to ask her.
But—
No way, right?
Her edgy phase was long over! And she'd never said something like that before!
What kind of situation would drive her to speak such a sentence?!
Her hand trembled as she typed.
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: …Me?
-------
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