Bai Qian lowered the finger he'd been pointing to the sky, then tidied the hat that had shifted slightly from all the exaggerated posing.
If you're going to do a good deed, you might as well do it all the way through.
Since Kiana had asked him for help, he was definitely going to help.
The live stream hadn't been turned off yet. Bai Qian nodded toward the phone—toward the camera, really.
"Kiana, don't panic. Tell me what happened."
[Pointy-Hat Lady]: Watching my face and body make those expressions and motions is inexplicably irritating.
[Pointy-Hat Lady]: Whatever. Do what you want.
Of course he'd seen Herta's warning.
For a modern man with a healthy and thriving internet life, having your browsing history exposed was basically social death.
But right now, Bai Qian's adrenaline was sky-high—he was hyped.
In other words: he was riding the high.
[Want Campus Springtime With Mei]: Help!! QAQ!! What did I do?!
[Want Campus Springtime With Mei]: I was watching the stream and it looked soooo cool, and my brain short-circuited so I did that pose in the hallway and then—and then Mei just happened to walk by!!
[Want Campus Springtime With Mei]: The way she looked at me was wrong! Waaaah, she totally thinks I'm some pervert who just twists around!! Am I doomed?! Should I just commit seppuku right now?!
"Wrong. That's completely wrong!"
Bai Qian wagged a finger, his face full of the confidence of a seasoned galgame champion.
"This is a once-in-a-thousand-years opportunity, you paramecium girl!"
"You know what a terrible first impression usually is? It's the start of fate! Like bumping into the girl running to school with bread in her mouth, or picking up something a classmate accidentally dropped—this is how you meet!"
Hearing him talk so fluently, Kiana couldn't help nodding along with his gestures.
Really?
Now that he said it, it actually did sound like those manga tropes… No matter what, she'd definitely left a deep impression on Mei.
"Listen—right now, Mei just thinks you're a weirdo worth pitying. In the affection system, that's negative points, sure, but it also means her attention has shifted from 'Random NPC A' to 'Someone I should look after.'"
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: That's insane, Lao Da. If I had your mouth, I'd definitely get a bonus.
"Kiana—yeah, the start is rough, but with my guidance, I'll get Raiden Mei's affection maxed in three days!"
He shouted at the camera—at the Kiana who was far, far away.
"Really?"
Kiana murmured uncertainly, then suddenly realized something. "Wait—hold on. We've never met, and I never said my name in the group. How does he know I'm Kiana?"
[Want Campus Springtime With Mei]: No, seriously—Lao Da, how do you know my name?!
"That's not important! Do you want to be friends with Raiden Mei or not?! Kiana, listen—this is the moment you have to A-attack directly! Trust me. I'm a professional!"
A professional?
Kiana pressed her lips together. She glanced back at the end of the corridor. Empty—only the sunset bleaching the floorboards pale.
Mei wasn't there anymore.
Even with questions swirling, Kiana was like a donkey staring at a carrot—completely pulled along by the goal of becoming friends with Mei.
New messages popped up in the chat.
[Tohsaka Rin]: So the pervert is going to make a move under another pervert's guidance now?
[Tohsaka Rin]: I should probably stay quiet, but… we know each other, so I can't.
[Tohsaka Rin]: Kiana can start a livestream and let Lao Da coach you. Other than group members, no one else can see our messages or this chat anyway.
Oh—live, on-site coaching!
She'd been worrying about what to say, but if the group could help, she could just repeat whatever they told her!
Kiana's mood went from storm clouds to sunshine in an instant.
Things couldn't possibly get worse. And if that guy claimed he was a "galgame domain master," then… she'd believe him!
Her finger hovered over the button to start group video.
She swallowed.
Dead horse, living horse—whatever. She'd try anything!
She pressed it.
["Want Campus Springtime With Mei" has started a group video livestream]
"H-Hello? Can you all hear me?"
Kiana adjusted her phone so the camera faced her.
[Pointy-Hat Lady]: Stupid beyond belief. The only reason I'm watching this is because my IQ has probably dropped too.
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: I've started screen recording. I have a feeling I'm about to capture something I'll never forget.
[Legendary Fireproof King]: So this is another world… it's nothing like the Lands Between.
[Tohsaka Rin]: I've stopped everything I'm doing. I'm just here to watch the stream.
Bai Qian faced the camera and struck what he believed was the most persuasive pose—though with Herta's body, it looked more like a magical girl transformation wind-up.
"Right now you don't need a phone. You need legs! She can't have gone far—Raiden Mei definitely hasn't gone far!"
[Pointy-Hat Lady]: Seeing myself do that pose… ugh. If anyone besides you people sees me like this when I get back, I'm committing murder.
Bai Qian ignored Herta completely.
"Listen, Kiana—nothing matters more in this world than leaving a deep impression on her. Even being weird is ten thousand times better than being a nameless extra!"
"As long as she hasn't left the school grounds, you can still reverse destiny! Now—right now—immediately—run in the direction she went! Find her!"
Bai Qian took out the S.E.E.S. Evoker again and waved it around like a teacher's pointer.
"I'll keep this stream on and stay with you. Who am I? I'm the expert who's conquered—cough—corrected countless hearts. Leave it all to me. Now—move those legs and run! Kiana, aren't you the fastest runner there is?!"
"B-But what am I supposed to say?!"
Kiana started running. Her shoes thudded on the wooden floor—thump, thump, thump.
She sprinted toward the stairwell, wiping the thin sheen of sweat off her palm on her uniform skirt.
"Don't think. Just say you were practicing for a club activity. Even 'the drama club's Thinker' works."
"What the hell is a drama club Thinker?!"
Kiana complained while taking the stairs three at a time.
It didn't sound reliable, but she had no choice.
She turned the corner down the stairs and reached the first floor.
By the shoe lockers ahead, someone was still there.
Raiden Mei was changing shoes. She was bent forward, fingers hooking the heel of her shoe—sunlight pouring through the glass doors and landing right on her back.
"Stop!"
Bai Qian suddenly shouted.
Kiana slammed on the brakes. Her soles scraped the floor with a sharp squeal.
It was way too loud.
Mei paused mid-motion.
She slowly straightened up and turned around.
Kiana's hand froze in midair, phone held up—camera facing straight ahead.
Mei looked at her.
Or rather… she looked at this Kiana holding a phone up, panting, with the guilty expression of someone caught stealing.
"Talk, Kiana. Don't just stand there."
Bai Qian's voice in the phone became her only lifeline.
"Say, 'Classmate, you haven't left yet either?'"
Kiana opened her mouth on instinct and repeated like a parrot:
"Classmate, you haven't left yet either."
The moment she said it, she wanted to bite her own tongue off.
Of course Mei hadn't left—she was literally changing her shoes!
Was this even doing anything?!
Mei blinked.
She didn't know why Kiana looked so nervous, but her attitude didn't feel like those classmates who had already stopped treating Mei like a friend.
So Mei answered politely.
"Mm. I'm just about to go."
She didn't ask why Kiana was holding up her phone. She didn't ask about the hallway performance art.
She simply responded, and her posture clearly said: conversation over.
"Quick! If you don't say something, she's going to leave!"
Bai Qian screamed, "Interrupt her casting animation with a question! Ask if that pose earlier was weird, then say you're in the drama club!"
Kiana: "?"
"Ask! This is dying to live!"
Kiana watched Mei bend down to pick up her schoolbag.
"T-That… um! The pose earlier—was it weird?!"
Kiana shouted.
Mei's hand on the shoulder strap stopped.
She lifted her head. Her bangs slid along her cheek.
"I—I'm in the drama club. I was rehearsing!"
Heat crept up Kiana's face.
Her face had to be turning red.
Was this actually supposed to work?!
Mei looked at Kiana. Her gaze moved from Kiana's messy white hair, to her flushed cheeks, and finally to the phone still held up in her hand.
Mei pressed her lips together, lifted her schoolbag, and hugged it to her chest.
"So it was… drama club rehearsal."
She nodded, fingers unconsciously tightening on the strap until her knuckles went pale. "That makes sense. I thought so—if it was acting, then that kind of powerful voice really is… quite infectious."
"I'm really sorry. I disturbed you. That performance just now… had a lot of energy."
Energy—a perfect choice. It was the universal substitute word for when you can't sincerely praise something as normal or excellent.
Much like how relatives say at New Year's, "Wow, this kid really looks like you."
"Yes! Very spirited."
Bai Qian's voice came through the phone.
"Push your luck! You must push your luck! When someone is desperately backing away, you have to hook them—even if that means being a little invasive."
"Swap names! You know her, but she doesn't know you!"
Without giving Kiana time to react, Bai Qian blurted, "Say: 'Since I performed so hard my brain is oxygen-deprived, it's not too much to ask we exchange names, right?'"
"Um! Since I performed so hard my brain is oxygen-deprived, it's not too much to ask we exchange names, right?"
Kiana stammered and repeated his words.
She didn't know what she was doing anymore. She could only become a human echo.
Mei hesitated.
She didn't want to know people.
She wanted to hide.
But the shell around her had grown so thick it was suffocating her.
If she didn't open even a tiny crack now, she really might vanish into this godforsaken dusk.
A new friend—someone who didn't care that her father had gone to prison, that her family had fallen from grace.
Did such a person exist?
"…Raiden. Raiden Mei."
She gave her name anyway—maybe out of surprise, maybe thinking it would let her escape faster.
Or maybe… because she could sense the white-haired girl in front of her meant no harm.
[Phantom Thieves' Lao Da]: Now! Loudly shout my name!
Kiana froze.
Shout a name?
Here? Now? Loud?
But was he telling her to shout his name? Or her own? Who did "my" even refer to?
Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing?!
Kiana's brain turned into static. But she trusted her groupmates—and she'd already completely abandoned thinking—so her mouth acted on its own, bypassing her brain entirely.
"Mei! My name—my name is… Phantom Thieves' Lao Da!"
[Phantom Thieves' Lao Da]: ¿
[Pointy-Hat Lady]: ?
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: ?
[Dragon Sis Is Dragon]: ?
[Legendary Fireproof King]: ?
[Tohsaka Rin]: ?
In Tokyo, Toyokawa Sakiko—watching the livestream—couldn't stop herself from laughing.
Seeing that scene, it was impossible not to laugh.
She was suddenly grateful she'd started recording early!
"Hey, you over there—what are you laughing at?! Playing on your phone during work hours?! That's an absence. Mark it!"
Sakiko's smile vanished instantly.
No more giggling.
"Why did you shout my name?! I told you to shout your own name!"
Bai Qian plunged into despair.
He'd tried his best to save her!
Kiana stood there, still holding the phone up.
Normally she had thick skin—she didn't feel shame no matter what happened.
But this time… was different.
What had she just said?!
If there were a crack in the earth, she'd already be swimming backstroke in the magma below.
What even was that?! Was her brain kicked by a donkey?!
Mei clearly hadn't expected this development.
The once-gilded princess of Chiba Academy had an extremely rare moment of blankness.
"Phantom Thieves… what?"
Mei repeated it.
Did I hear that right?
"…Lao Da?"
Critical hit.
Hearing that absurd, meme-laden username—spoken seriously from a refined young lady's mouth—was like a nuclear bomb detonated on Kiana's shame defenses, triggering a chain reaction of total annihilation.
[Pointy-Hat Lady]: Is this the intelligence level of our chat? Nous has never solved a problem this hard in its life.
[AAA Customer Service Xiao Xiang]: Um… shouldn't someone comfort Miss Kiana? The camera's been pointing at the floor—she looks like she's… kneeling.
[Dragon Sis Is Dragon]: I don't understand what's going on in your world, but this courage to announce your "true name"… sorry, I could never say "Dragon Sis Is Dragon" in front of Alina.
[Tohsaka Rin]: Sometimes I honestly suspect this group is some kind of containment facility—
"Um…"
Mei finally seemed to process the moment—something worthy of being engraved into the history of human absurdity.
She sighed softly. Years of upbringing forced her to swallow whatever words had been about to come out.
She turned her head slightly, avoiding Kiana's face—which was red enough to bleed—like she was giving her the last shred of dignity she didn't actually have.
"I don't really understand…"
Mei's voice returned to its usual coolness, but her pace was a little slower than normal, as if she were choosing her words carefully. "But that name is certainly… very distinctive, Phantom Thieves' Lao Da… classmate."
She actually said it! Raiden Mei, the legendary Mei, actually called her that!
"Pfft—"
Kiana clearly heard Bai Qian in the phone fail to hold it in too.
"I—I—no!"
Kiana finally returned from stone to living creature. She flailed helplessly, phone wobbling like a brick that was about to fly out of her hand and smack Mei's smooth forehead.
"That's not my name! That's a username! I mean— I'm— I'm!"
The language-processing part of Kiana's brain was rebuilding itself, but after the shock, the pieces were assembling crooked and wrong.
"I understand, Lao Da-classmate."
Mei nodded politely—perfectly.
You could tell at a glance: this was the nod used to decline sales pitches or suspicious attempts at conversation.
Her hand unconsciously pressed against her schoolbag strap—an obvious defensive gesture.
"If you need… help, the infirmary is over there."
She turned away. Her purple hair arced through the air. Her footsteps—tap tap tap—were noticeably quicker than usual.
"W-Wait—!"
Kiana's scream didn't stop Mei.
If anything, it made her walk faster.
Watching Mei disappear, Kiana finally regained a bit of strength. She lifted the phone again and stared at Bai Qian, who'd gone silent.
"Lao. Da."
Kiana ground her teeth, dropped to both knees, and forced the words out between clenched teeth:
"You will never have any good juice to drink!!! Just you wait!!!"
-------
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