SF Chapter 05: Modern Family Pilot V
Alex muttered dryly, "So Haley getting pregnant isn't really that big of a problem..." and went back to opening her book and reading.
But she soon closed it and decided to try again, saying out loud, "It would be really cool to see Haley that fat. And how awesome would it be to have a fake little brother who's really my nephew."
Claire shut the idea down. "Haley is not getting pregnant."
"Just saying if," her daughter shrugged, as if she were only commenting.
"I know." Her mother stared at her. "And I know you like to make trouble for your sister, but it's not going to work this time."
"You know why?" Claire continued, leaning in close to her daughter. "Because your sister is a good girl. I was just like her when I was-" She paused, picked up the laundry basket again, and headed toward the stairs, more precisely to her daughter's bedroom.
"Well played, little one. Well played," Daniel praised, staring at his niece. "Even if it's a very old trick," he added, referring to how easily his sister changed her mind when reminded of her past.
Alex shrugged again. "What matters is that it works."
Then she looked at him oddly. "I thought you'd push a little harder about Haley getting pregnant."
She knew Daniel wasn't really serious about the idea. But she thought he would like to annoy her mother a bit more by insisting on it.
"I thought it through. Even if the chances are minimal, I can't let Haley get pregnant. That would turn me into a great-uncle!" he declared, as if that was something terrible. "I'm way too young for that!"
Alex looked at him, astonished, then spoke with dripping sarcasm, "Oh, that would be the problem."
A short while later, Haley came running over and immediately complained to her father, who was in the backyard, ready to shoot his son with the plastic gun.
Because, unfortunately for Luke, it is the father's responsibility to discipline his child. The shot he had taken from Daniel didn't count.
"Dad! Dad, Dad," Haley repeated. "You have got to talk to Mom. She is, like, completely freaking out and embarrassing me!" she whined, making an anguished face.
"Honey, your mom isn't always as cool about things as-" Phil was saying, but he ended up shooting Luke anyway.
"Ouch, ouch," his son complained, putting his hand on his arm where he had been hit.
Phil quickly apologized, even though that was technically the point. "Sorry, it was an accident!" But right after that, he accidentally hit someone else as well - Dylan.
Dylan fell after being hit right in the neck.
"What is wrong with this thing?" Phil threw the defective gun on the ground and immediately got hit by an accidental shot right in the nuts. "Ouuuch!" he screamed.
Daniel, who was standing farther back and watching the whole interaction, let out a few light chuckles before finally laughing.
"That was even better than I imagined!" He made a face as if he had just gotten another Christmas gift.
Then he handed Alex a hundred-dollar bill for her well-deserved good job.
[Alex Commentary]
"There is another reason not to cause trouble for Dani. He's someone who knows how to reward people well," Alex commented from the couch, looking at the bill she had received and already dreaming about the books she was going to buy.
[Commentary ends]
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Mitchell took a deep breath and went to the door, since the doorbell had just rung.
He took another deep breath and changed his expression to a wide smile as soon as he opened the door. "Hi," he greeted the family.
"Hey, Second Bro - good trip?" Daniel asked as he hugged Mitch.
"Yes," Mitchell replied quickly, as he moved on to greet the rest of the family who had come along.
Claire hugged him with one arm, since the other was holding the cake she had made earlier.
Mitchell greeted the rest of the Dunphys, thanking Phil for the bottle of wine he had received.
"Don't thank us. Open it. Dad is coming right behind," Claire warned, already placing the cake on the table.
Then the sound of the doorbell ringing multiple times could be heard, along with Jay shouting, "Knock, knock! We're here - coming in!"
"Don't worry, Dad. Nothing gay going on here," Mitchell said loudly, a bit exasperated.
Daniel let out a few chuckles, because that reminded him of his cousin Leonard's strange roommate - Sheldon Cooper. He always knocks three times, saying the person's name.
"Pretty sure he was traumatized by something he saw," he muttered.
[Daniel and Mitchell commentary]
Mitchell was sitting on the couch at his place. "My dad. Uh... my dad still isn't completely comfortable with my relationship with Cam."
"He still does this thing," but he paused and mentioned one more thing, "It's been five years now."
"And he still does this thing where he announces himself - before walking into any room we're in - just to make sure he never has to see us kiss."
Daniel patted him. Mitchell smiled, since his little brother was always very supportive of him.
"I think it's also my fault now that Dad knocks and announces himself," Daniel added, remembering some of his past experiences.
"He walked in on me while I was doing it. Twice." he revealed. "It was traumatic!"
Mitchell patted his arm in support.
And Daniel continued, "The bite mark stayed there for a whole week!" He looked down, "poor Danny. It was very painful!"
"I don't blame the girl. She got startled."
His brother's eyes widened as he slowly turned to look at him.
"About being caught in the moment by dad…" Daniel went on. "Eh." He shrugged at the idea.
Mitchell turned back to stare ahead. His expression was hard to describe.
[Commentary ends]
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