The Grand Hall of the Aegis Citadel smelled of ozone and desperation.
King Aldric of the Western Realm and King Vane of the Eastern Realm stood side-by-side, their royal robes drenched in cold sweat. Around them, a hundred grand mages chanted in unison, pouring every drop of their mana into the massive, glowing summoning circle carved into the throne room floor.
"Hold the array!" King Vane shouted over the deafening crackle of magic. "If the Demon brothers finish their civil war, their armies will march on our borders! We need the ultimate weapons. We need the Heroes of Prophecy!"
King Aldric gritted his teeth. "Let us pray the heavens grant us warriors strong enough to slay a Demon King... before they find out what really happened to the last one."
The magic circle pulsed violently. A blinding pillar of golden light erupted, shattering the stained-glass windows of the grand hall. The sheer pressure of the descending aura forced the knights to their knees and the kings to shield their eyes.
The spell was complete. Humanity's saviors had arrived.
As the golden smoke slowly cleared, King Aldric stepped forward, throwing his arms wide. "O Great and Mighty Heroes! We welcome you to the realm of—"
He froze.
There, standing in the center of the ancient, sacred summoning circle, were two people. They were not wearing legendary armor. They were not holding mythic swords.
The man was wearing a brightly colored floral shirt, khaki shorts, and a pair of dark sunglasses. The woman beside him was wearing a flowy summer dress, a wide-brimmed sun hat, and was staring blankly at the stone floor.
At her feet lay the shattered remains of a coconut, a tiny pink cocktail umbrella floating in the spilled juice.
Silence stretched across the massive throne room.
"Babe," the woman said, her voice dangerously calm. "My piña colada."
The man sighed, pushing his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose. He looked around the dark, imposing stone castle, ignoring the hundred terrified mages and the two stunned kings. "I told you the turbulence on that flight was going to be crazy, Maya. But no, you said, 'Let's fly budget, Leo, it'll be fine.'"
"This isn't turbulence, Leo," Maya snapped, gesturing to the glowing runes on the floor. "We aren't even on the plane anymore! Where is the beach? Where is our ocean-view suite?!"
King Vane cleared his throat, trying to regain his royal composure. "E-Excuse me, O Chosen Ones! You have been summoned across space and time to save the Twin Human Kingdoms from the impending Demon threat! You are our—"
"Hey, pal," Leo interrupted, pointing a casual finger at the King. "Do you work here? Where's the concierge? We've been traveling for fourteen hours, and I am not in the mood for some medieval escape room nonsense."
The Royal Knight Commander, a towering man clad in heavy steel armor, could no longer take the disrespect. "Insolent peasants!" he roared, drawing a massive broadsword that crackled with blue lightning. "You dare speak to the Sovereigns of Humanity with such tone?! Kneel!"
The Commander lunged forward, his blade swinging down toward Leo's shoulder with enough force to cleave a boulder in half.
King Aldric gasped. "Wait, don't kill the—!"
Leo didn't even look at the charging knight. He simply raised his hand and flicked his index finger against the flat of the massive broadsword.
CLANG!
A shockwave of pure, condensed force erupted from Leo's finger. The indestructible broadsword shattered into a thousand pieces. The Knight Commander was violently launched backward, flying through the air like a ragdoll. He smashed through three solid marble pillars before cratering into the far wall of the throne room, completely knocked out.
The throne room plunged into absolute, terrifying silence.
The grand mages stopped breathing. The kings turned pale as ghosts. The Knight Commander, the strongest warrior in the kingdom, had just been swatted away like a mosquito. By a man in a floral shirt.
Maya didn't even flinch at the destruction. She just crossed her arms and glared at King Aldric.
"Listen to me very carefully," Maya said, her eyes flashing with an ominous, terrifying energy that made the mages' knees buckle. "We just got married. We were supposed to be in Bora Bora right now. So, unless one of you points me to a hot tub, a spa, or a really good buffet... I am going to flatten this entire castle."
Leo wrapped an arm around his wife's shoulders, smiling cheerfully at the paralyzed monarchs.
"She gets a little cranky when she misses her vacation time," Leo chuckled. "So, who's carrying our luggage?"