The master bedroom of the Obsidian Fortress was... aggressively gothic.
It was a cavernous, towering suite carved entirely from black volcanic glass. A massive chandelier made of glowing red crystals hung from the ceiling, casting ominous shadows across the floor. In the center of the room sat a bed the size of a small house, framed by four jagged obsidian pillars.
Maya was sitting on the edge of the mattress, running a critical finger along the dark stone nightstand.
"Dust," she announced, holding up her manicured hand. "A microscopic layer of dust."
Malakor the Demon Lord, Sovereign of the Ashen Wastes and Terror of the Eight Kingdoms, visibly flinched. He was currently wearing his ridiculous, conjured black-and-white butler suit over his spiked armor.
"I-I beg a thousand pardons, Lady Maya!" Malakor boomed, dropping to his hands and knees. He frantically began polishing the obsidian nightstand with a pristine white napkin. "The imps who previously cleaned this room have been... aggressively relocated! It shall be pristine within the hour! I will scrub it with my own bare hands!"
"See that you do," Maya sighed, leaning back against the plush, blood-red pillows. "And tell your brother to hurry up with the room service. If my sparkling water isn't perfectly chilled, I'm turning this entire fortress into a crater."
"Yes, Madam!" Malakor cried, polishing the nightstand so fast the friction started a small fire, which he quickly blew out in a panic.
Out on the massive balcony overlooking the volcanic valley, Leo was casually leaning against the jagged railing in his floral shirt. He was tossing a skull—which he had found lying around—up and down like a baseball.
"You know, Al and Vane really oversold this whole 'Demon Threat' thing," Leo chuckled to himself. "These guys have excellent customer service."
Suddenly, the sky above the Ashen Mountains exploded.
A twin sonic boom shattered the ominous clouds, tearing a hole straight through the atmosphere. Two massive streaks of light—one golden, one crimson—rocketed toward the Obsidian Fortress at Mach 10.
The shockwave hit the balcony like a physical wall, completely blowing out the remaining stained-glass windows of the master suite.
With a deafening crash that shook the entire mountain, Vermithrax the Dragon King and Ignis the World-Burner slammed onto the massive balcony. The sheer force of their landing cracked the reinforced volcanic stone.
Vermithrax was panting heavily, his massive chest heaving. Smoke poured from his jagged nostrils. But clutched delicately between two of his massive, razor-sharp claws was a pristine pair of Tom Ford sunglasses.
"Lord Leo!" Vermithrax roared, his voice trembling with sheer, exhausted devotion. "We have returned! We broke the sound barrier six times! We did not stop to eat! We did not stop to breathe! The sacred spectacles are secure!"
Ignis the World-Burner gave a triumphant, exhausted huff, collapsing onto his stomach on the balcony floor.
Leo grinned, catching the skull he was tossing and giving the dragons a thumbs-up. "Nice time, boys. Maya's gonna be thrilled."
Just then, Kaelen the Demon Lord burst through the bedroom doors, carefully balancing a silver platter stacked with exotic fruits and a perfectly chilled pitcher of sparkling water. He was wearing his matching butler outfit, a small red bowtie neatly tied around his neck.
"Your refreshments, Great Patrons!" Kaelen announced, practically vibrating with anxious energy. "Chilled to perfection using the tears of ice wraiths!"
Vermithrax slowly turned his massive, reptilian head. His golden eyes locked onto the two Demon Lords. He saw the silver platter. He saw the crisp white napkins. He saw the ridiculous bowties.
The Dragon King's pupils narrowed into terrifying, vertical slits.
They were trying to steal his job.
"What is the meaning of this?!" Vermithrax bellowed, his voice echoing across the entire Ashen Valley. He pointed a massive, accusatory claw at Kaelen. "Why are you wearing the garments of servitude?! We are the chosen ones! We carry the luggage! We heat the pools! You are mere demons!"
Ignis the World-Burner lifted his massive head, his eyes flashing with sudden, possessive fury. He let out a deep, territorial growl that vibrated the floorboards.
Malakor dropped his polishing napkin, standing up to his full, terrifying seven-foot height. The humiliation of the butler suit was one thing, but he was not going to be out-servanted by an overgrown lizard.
"We are providing five-star hospitality!" Malakor roared back, thumping his armored chest. "We are the Obsidian Resort! Our room service is unparalleled! You dragons lack the delicate touch required to properly fluff a pillow for Lady Maya!"
"Delicate touch?!" Vermithrax shrieked, a ball of golden fire condensing in his throat out of pure, unadulterated jealousy. "I will show you a delicate touch when I incinerate you into fine ash, you incompetent bellhop!"
"Bring it on, you scaly chauffeur!" Kaelen snarled, dropping the silver platter perfectly onto the table before drawing his glowing, venomous daggers. "We will show the Great Patrons who the superior servants truly are!"
The tension in the room skyrocketed. The two mythological dragons and the two apocalyptic Demon Lords were locked in a staring contest of pure, murderous intent over who got to be the better butler.
Maya slowly pushed herself off the bed. She walked out onto the balcony, the chaotic energy instantly freezing the four legendary beings in their tracks.
She held out her hand.
Vermithrax frantically dropped to his knees, his massive head bowing as he delicately placed the Tom Ford sunglasses into her palm.
Maya slipped them on. She looked at the two terrified dragons, then looked at the two sweating Demon Lords in their bowties.
"I don't care who does what," Maya said, her voice dropping to a terrifying, absolute zero. "But if any of you break a single piece of furniture in this suite while you're fighting over who gets to do the laundry... I am going to use your skulls as decorative planters. Are we clear?"
"CRYSTAL CLEAR, MADAM!" The four most dangerous beings in the world shouted in perfect, terrified unison.
Leo leaned against the railing, taking a bite of a grape and smiling. "I love vacations."