To want something as bad as you hate it . To need it as much as you know it's not what's best for you .
To desperately fight for it as desperately as you would want to have nothing to do it .
To forget it ....to erase it , to have no feelings associated with it , be it pain , joy , sorrow ,guilt, regret, hatred, or love as long as you feel nothing .
Well, all those are far long dreams once you had even a tiny sip of how it tastes.
Cause once it enters your system, there is no way back , you can't possibly unfeel , untaste, unknow, or ever imagine doing okay without it .
Once you know even the slightest, that's already too much to be drank on and keep you yearning for more . Funny bit, it can never be enough .
You can never have enough of it.
It becomes a satisfying and painful sentimental pleasure of addiction .
One to die for , despite it being forbidden, and yes ... there is always a price to pay.