[Teammate: Charles - Pinged]
[Quest: Assist - Tracking…]
[HP: 100%]
[Mana: Cute]
[DPS Macros: Activated]
[Mental Stability: File Not Found]
"Raid leader says, go help Charles! Ugh. Dumb call."
"Why are we splitting up the raid team on Phase 2, huh? Bad strat. That's how wipes happen."
"Honestly, if I were a less loyal catgirl, I'd /leave this party right meow."
"But I'm not a ragequitter~
(Just… a soft resetter~)"
Teleporting…
Zip.
[Remaining charges: 2. Cooldown initiated.]
Flash of pink light. She reappeared near the objective.
"Oh look, Charles has NPCs now. Summoner class confirmed! There's Bunnygirl (adorable~), Ultimateman betcha he's a tank, and the limp one is Starwoman… maybe a monk subclass? None of them have weapons. Weird builds. Lame nameplates."
"Hey Charles! Didn't know you rolled a summoner class, Nya~"
He turns, exasperated.
"Gods above. He sent you?"
"I know, right? Our raid comp is so bad! We don't even have a healer. But I don't ditch noobs, even if we wipe 20 times~"
She floated above him, shimmering with pink static.
"Also, your DPS is tragic. Just sayin'."
Charles sighs like he aged five years.
"Well, I managed to put these two under my control, wreaked havoc and this blue girl is down. That stupid crow witch will be furious knowing I was more useful for once."
"Lmao, your CC build is cringe. You'd be like… bronze tier on the leaderboard. Maybe copper."
She giggled. Then glitched. Her left eye turned static and red.
"Help me… log out… please-"
Pink sparkles. Back to normal~ "Nya!"
"What in the Gods' name is wrong with you?" Charles asks.
"Idk. Probably malware from the hacker. Or maybe the devs forgot to patch a bug!"
She winked.
"Idiot. I don't care, this rabbit looking girl is useless. I only need Ultimateman, I'll kill her with my sword." His super sweet sword won't budge. "Ugh, damn thing is resisting again."
"You are probably too low a level for it ha!" She mocked.
"No it has a mind, this Ultimateman takes a lot to control… Haha, I'll just have him kill her." He gestured to Ultimateman.
A shadow falls across the street.
A silhouette behind Charles.
[Ping: New Player Approaching.]
"Hey look, is that the hacker?" Meowfunction pointed.
"Huh?"
A red blade cuts straight through Charles. He disintegrates.
[Quest: Help Charles. Failed]
"Boo."
"Don't think I forgot about the ballroom, Charles," says the figure. His voice is gravel and Charles' dust floated. "I'll enjoy devouring you later."
"Woah~ You're a hacker! I call dibs on Charles' gear!" She twirls midair, trailing corrupted pixels.
"You're with Aucteros? Just what the hell are you? And what is that floating above your head? Meowfunction.EXE?"
He glares at her.
"And your username is… Rehpotsirhc? Stupid name. But a cool name plate."
He flinched at the name.
"My name is Rhenvar."
"Ohhh, you're one of thoooose, an RPer. Got it." She floats closer, squinting. "Have you ever considered a name change? You don't look poor. That gear is kinda cracked."
He shrugged and picked up Charles' discarded weapon.
"Hey! I called dibs! Raid etiquette!"
"Too slow, catgirl." He inspects it. "You're weird. But not hostile. Why?"
"Hmm… you're not flagged as an enemy. And my quest tracker just failed. Sooo… maybe you have a quest for me or something?"
Then-
BOOM.
SLAM.
Meowfunction was crushed into the pavement. A boot on her glitching chest.
"Oh no! His cooldown's over!" She chirped. "Charles really was useless."
"TALK! Where is the crow girl?!" Ultimateman looms over her, eyes blazing with energy. His hands grip her throat.
Her vision flickers. Her head loops a death animation. Blah.
"Ooooh~ An enemy ping! Time for some PVP!" She said excitedly.
[Combat Initiated.]
[Incoming Ping: Ultimateman - Hostile Detected]
[Battle Theme: "Supernova.exe (Corrupted Mix)"]
[HP: 99]
[Mana: ULTIMATE]
[Cooldowns: RESETTING] [PVP MODE ENABLED]
"Nyaaa~! Game on old geezer!"
Her code flickered as the big superdude had her by the neck. His hands weren't fun though, no criticals. Just righteous fury.
He slammed her into the ground again. Static scattered. Her limbs bent the wrong way.
"Where. Is. She?" Ultimateman growled, strength from his body like a bullshit buff.
"Ughhh rude~!" She flickered. Her head spun 360 degrees. Her tail cracked sideways. "Is this a cutscene? Can I skip this?"
She phased through the pavement, her body becoming data strings.
[Phase Shift Activated]
She emerged behind him, upside-down, inside-out, tail-first.
"Tag~ you're it!" She sang.
Ultimateman whipped around and blasted a punch straight through her chest.
[ERROR: BODY STRUCTURE - NON-STANDARD. HITBOX NOT FOUND]
She laughed as the wound glitched. Her body split into pixelated chunks before reassembling in midair like a badly-buffering stream.
"You will tell me where this crow woman is," he said. "Enough games."
"I game to get enough achievements, baby!" She summoned her death bunny plush sword, forged from corrupted .dll files and pink plush cat ears.
Ultimateman soared at her. She dodged, leaving behind a copy of herself that exploded in confetti and error messages.
Boom.
Ultimateman powered through, eyes blazing. "Whatever you are, I'll get answers, Rhenvar are you gonna help?"
"Uh?" Rhenvar looked shocked.
"No way~ he's an RPer, they suck at PVP, besides this is a duel!" She spun in midair, then twisted her body into a mismatched pixel body.
Then she screamed. It sounded like static.
And it wasn't her voice.
"Kill me! Please! Log me out! This isn't meeeeee!"
Ultimateman paused.
Meowfunction.EXE flickered. Glitched.
Then she smiled again. Pink sparkles dinged above her head.
"Nya~ Sorry! System rebooted! My file's corrupt anyway~"
She launched toward him, glitch-teleporting mid-dash. Her plush sword cut his arm, again and again. Sparks. Code. Screams.
[Combo Chain x9]
[Critical Hit: Right in the Feelz]
He retaliated with a seismic clap. Her body bent backwards, then shattered, only to reassemble again with a giggle.
She coughed up corrupted black and white pixels.
"You're not fighting me," Ultimateman said softly, floating in the air. "You're fighting whatever's keeping that guy inside you caged."
"Huh? You mean the KillMeKitty hacker?" She made a mocking sad face. "He's soooo boring. Cry cry cry. Please save me~ Wah wah~"
[Emotion Override: MOCKERY +100]
Ultimateman lunged again. She parried midair, twisting upside-down. Their energy clashed, golden light against glitching static.
Each of his strikes were powerful. Each of hers was a stuttering, corrupted bug. Both engaged in grappling.
Somewhere near, a shadow watched.
"Look at that Rhenvar standing by honoring our duel, arms folded. Eyes a cute blue." Meowfunction said. "Not interfering. Just observing. He's pretty cool. No wonder Corvessa wants to farm him."
[Combat Note: CursedKnight.exe watching closely]
[Optional Dialogue Unlocked] [Rhenvar will remember this.]
Ultimateman broke the lock and flew back, annoyed.
"You're not the enemy I want," he said.
"Sure I am!" She pointed at her nameplate. "Meowfunction.EXE! Level ??? Glitch Goddess of Cute~"
"I just want the crow queen," He looked at her, eyes burning with fury. "She killed someone very precious to me."
[Guilt.exe Detected]
[Nullifying with: /emote Laugh (x3)]
"Haha! LOL! XD! You're so dramatic~ Are all heavy-tanks like this?"
He got closer. "I'm sorry, little one. I don't want to hurt you."
"Then don't."
She glitched forward again, close enough to whisper.
"Too bad, so sad, superdad."
[Voice Switch: KillMeKitty ONLINE - Fragmented]
"I d-don't… want… this…"
Ultimateman eyes widened. "Just what are you."
"P-p-please… it hurts-"
[Glitch Override: FORCE RESET]
"WHOOPS~! Time's up!" She shrieked.
Static tore across the skyline.
Her face split into smile.exe and scream.mp3.
[Lvl ??? Move: Catgirl Cataclysm!]
The sky turned to pixel and black. The clouds stuttered. The very air bugged out.
Civilians freeze in place, flickering like paused gifs.
Birds flew backwards.
A stoplight shows all colors at once.
Rhenvar is stuck in a picking his nose animation loop.
Ultimateman looked up with a serious face. He shot upwards to her attack.
And Rhenvar whispered behind her.
"…What the fuck is going on." As he picked his nose in a loop.