(Stupid bookworm. He asked for this, so here I am.)
(This red brick house holds the man he's after.
I'm feeling giggly!)
(What if he's like my King Crow?) Asked the crow perched on her shoulder.
(No! Nonono!)
(No one could ever compare to our love!)
(He will be mine.)
(The more I kiss him, the more he'll bend to my sweet, sweet words.)
She twirled on the idiot's perfectly trimmed lawn. Digging her bare feet into the dirt.
"Hm? Clean-cut. Bright with color. This man knows his plants."
(Now that I think about it… my curses take quite a lot to bring my Crow of Crows to his knees.)
(I could make a love potion. That would be faster.)
"Yesyesyes!" Chirped the crow.
(He will love you!)
(But then I can't turn him into a crow.)
(Nononono!)
A voice slithered out from the door like a snake with venom in its voice. "You're the corvus girl I've heard about. I expected you earlier."
(Annoying. Like a dove chirping inside my ears.)
(You always say annoying voices sound like doves.)
"Because they're annoying!" Corvessa shot back.
"…"
"Oh right. The plan. Stay on the bookworm's good side. He'll help me find my King." She turned to the man grinning, then bowed. "I am the great witch Corvessa, here to seek out a 'super villain.' Someone my, uh- "
(What was he again?)
(We can't insult the book mage.)
(Not if we want this man to join us.)
(What did the pink cat say? Nenenene? No. Oh!)
She cleared her throat playfully. "Someone my raid leader is looking for. He wants your worthless mind, or something."
(Let's look at him!)
(Yes!)
Sharp chin. Slicked-back black hair. Strange black glasses. Pale skin but not in a delicious, corpse-like way.
(This man is ugly.)
(Yes, my crow. He is!)
"Curious… 'worthless,' huh?" He said unamused. "Only someone insane would pick a fight with the Super Squad. I like that. Come, we have much to discuss."
(Should we follow?)
(What was the mission again?)
(Grab new clothes for our love?)
(No! Follow!)
Corvessa followed this fool into his home.
****
Inside the idiot's house.
"So clean it's sickening, Blegh."
(Not even one rat.)
(What does he eat?)
"Cleanliness is of utmost importance," he said.
"Spoken like that legendary hero with the shiny steel stick," she muttered.
"…This way."
(A basement?)
(Yesyesyes!)
(Let's see the carnage!)
(This man has zombies down there, I can feel it.)
(I bet he has corpses dangling from the ceiling.)
(Maybe even a jar of delicious eyeballs.)
(Our favorite!)
****
Basement.
(Ugh. Dull.)
(Just scrap metal everywhere.)
(Though, to be fair, it's shinier than the piles at that sad blacksmith's house.)
(Yes!)
"This is merely a small branch of my operations. And do not try anything funny, woman." He pointed up.
(Weird metal things above me?)
(He thinks those will protect him from his insult?)
(Yes. Let's turn him into a crow.)
(No one insults our queen!)
She licked her lips and stepped forward.
A flash of energy blasted in front of her.
"Hm?"
"You'd best keep your distance," he said. "The closer you get, the closer those guns get to ripping you apart."
(Do they protect him? And now he's threatening me?)
She vanished into a whirlwind of feathers and crows.
Violet flamed bone-scythe in hand.
Bang.
Bang. Bang.
"All gone," she cooed, feathers swirling. "Keep insulting me, and you're next."
He staggered back. "I have other means… no, perhaps… yes. I apologize if my words made you angry. Forgive me."
(Yes, your eyelids are begging to be peeled off.)
"Where are my manners?" He said, raising his hands to the junk around him. "I'm Variable. Master of all this technology!"
"Technodummy? This is worthless. No bones. No guts."
"You really are from another world, aren't you?"
(Dove keeps chirping. Maybe I'll teach him to caw.)
"Interesting…" He rubbed his dumb little chin. "I figured as much. My scans picked you and your team up. In fact, I've been monitoring you for some time."
He clicked something on his bracelet. A red screen popped up. It showed Corvessa.
"You know magic?" Her head twitched sideways to him.
"No. This is technology. If you do not know what that is, assume it is similar."
"Oh! So you can watch me make a new crow? What a treat! I love having an audience!"
"Yes… your work against Blue Zipper was unexpected. Especially killing him."
"I didn't kill him. I turned him into a bone, to add to my greatest weapon!"
"Yes… I still do not understand how you managed that."
(He wants to learn my secrets?)
(No, my queen.)
(Our secrets are for crows.)
(Yes.)
(He's testing us.)
"I'm already aware of your leader's intentions," he continued. "I was going to contact him, but he is on his way here as we speak. As a gesture of goodwill, I scanned his body and created a replacement arm." He pointed at something useless.
(This man reeks of cowardice.)
"Now," he added, "I do need to ask. I prefer my lair… clean. Can that bird stay outside?" She shifted. Bird-like.
(He dares?)
(We just found a new crow! Yes!)
(Wait!)
(What, my crow?)
(Book man will be mad.)
(Then we'll give it a second thought.)
Then she smiled.
(Yes, we did.)