Knockturn Alley, Next door to Borgin and Burkes.
Now hung a pitch-black, gothic sign: "Eternal Beauty · Personally Formulated by Master Severus Snape."
A long queue stretched outside the shop.
Not only were there wrinkled old witches, but also a large group of wealthy pure-blood noblewomen in luxurious robes. They held numbered tickets, eyes fanatical as if waiting for a concert to start.
Inside the Shop.
Snape wore a modified black high-collared robe (to make his neck look longer) and gold-rimmed glasses. He held a dropper, solemnly applying a black ointment to a noblewoman's face.
"This is diluted Draught of Living Death, mixed with powdered unicorn horn." Snape's voice was still low and silky, but the content had changed. "Not only does it remove crow's feet, but it also makes your skin pale as a vampire's—this is the trending 'Sickly Beauty' aesthetic."
"Oh, Master Snape!" The noblewoman trembled with excitement. "It's magical! I feel my laugh lines disappearing! How much for this bottle? Two hundred Galleons? I'll take it!"
"No, Madam." A cold smirk curled Snape's lips. "As an opening special, it's only one hundred and ninety Galleons. Additionally, I suggest pairing it with this 'Black Lake Mud Mask', excellent for large pores."
Just as Snape was counting money until his hands cramped, the door was kicked open.
"SEVERUS!"
Lucius Malfoy stormed in like a hurricane, holding a mirror, face pale. "Help! My hairline! It receded another millimeter! I used your 'Hair Growth Potion' yesterday, why was my pillow covered in hair this morning?!"
Snape frowned, putting down the potion bottle. "Lucius, that is normal metabolism. Also, wipe the powder off your face; you look like a zombie that just crawled out of a flour bin."
"I don't care!" Lucius shrieked. He was extremely anxious about his image, especially after seeing the luxuriant hair volume of Ivan and Grindelwald. "I want that... that potion that makes skin tender as a baby's and hair shiny as a unicorn's! Name your price!"
"Regrettably, the effects of potions are limited." Snape said coldly. "Unless you are willing to risk going bald by using Dark Magic..."
"Then use Dark Magic!" Lucius slammed a heavy bag of Galleons onto the table. "As long as it makes me ten years younger, I'll change the Malfoy family crest to pink!"
Snape looked at the money, actually wavering a bit.
He had resigned to open this shop because he was hit hard—Ivan's "Automatic Potion Brewer" could brew ten cauldrons a minute, automatically skim scum, and even adjust heat based on ingredient origin.
As a perfectionist Potions Master, this was a dimension-crushing blow.
But he didn't expect his casually mixed beauty potions to be so profitable.
"Fine." Snape pocketed the money and pulled a bottle of bubbling green potion from under the counter. "This is 'Basilisk Molting Fluid' Enhanced. Drinking it will hurt a bit, like being skinned, but the effect is significant."
Lucius reached for it, but a hand suddenly snatched the bottle away.
"Don't drink that, Lucius."
Ivan had appeared in the shop at some point, holding the greenish-black potion with a look of disgust. "This thing's pH is severely unbalanced and contains heavy metals. Drinking it won't make you younger; it'll cause liver and kidney failure, turning you into a green mummy."
Snape whipped his head around, seeing Ivan's half-smile, and his anger flared instantly.
"Potter!" He gritted his teeth. "Are you here to mock me? Mock me for giving up Hogwarts to become a... 'merchant'?"
"No, no, no, I'm here to bring you business." Ivan tossed the bottle back to Snape and pulled a small, exquisite white bottle from his pocket labeled: [Hyaluronic Acid Concentrate + Botulinum Toxin + Vitamin C].
"What is this ghost stuff?" Snape looked warily at the bottle, which had no magical fluctuation.
"This is called 'Scientific Skincare'." Ivan pointed at the bewildered Lucius. "Lucius, want to be beautiful? No need for poison, no need for the pain of skinning."
Lucius looked at Ivan, then at the disgusting green potion in Snape's hand, and decisively chose Ivan. "Master Ivan! As long as I can look eighteen again, I'll do anything!"
"Good." Ivan snapped his fingers. "Close eyes, chin up."
Lucius obeyed.
Ivan took a cotton swab, dipped it in the white liquid, and applied a small patch to Lucius's forehead.
"This is 'Molecular Level Penetration Technology'." Ivan bluffed while applying. "Simply put, it inflates your skin cells like balloons. Visible results in three seconds."
Snape crossed his arms, sneering. "Three seconds? Even top-grade Essence of Dittany takes three minutes to heal wounds. Are you performing magic tricks?"
Lucius suddenly let out a scream. "Merlin! MERLIN!!"
He touched the spot where the liquid was applied. The originally loose, wrinkled skin had actually become tight and smooth, and the forehead wrinkles that had plagued him for years faded!
"This... this is impossible!" Snape's pupils shook. He rushed over, grabbing Lucius's face, even lighting his wand to inspect. "Let me see! Is this a Glamour Charm? An illusion?"
"It's true! Severus!" Lucius cried tears of joy. "Look! My pores! They're gone! I feel my face glowing!"
Ivan whistled smugly. "How about it, Professor Snape? This is the power of Chemistry. Your potions rely on magic to forcibly change the constitution, while I rely on... 'Ingredients'."
Snape stared dead at the white bottle, his gaze shifting from suspicion to fanaticism, then to a twisted unwillingness.
"Ingredients..." he murmured. "You mean, without magic, just mixing these... chemical substances can achieve or surpass potion effects?"
"Bingo." Ivan snapped his fingers. "And low cost. Your Hair Growth Potion sells for fifty Galleons; my bottle costs two Knuts to make."
Snape felt suffocated.
This wasn't just a slap in the face; his worldview was being reshaped.
His proud Dark Magic Potions seemed so clumsy and expensive in front of this two-Knut "Muggle Glue."
"I don't believe it!" Snape grabbed the white bottle, ignoring decorum, and dipped his wand tip to taste a bit.
(Note: As a Potions Master, tasting ingredients is standard procedure for Snape.)
"Tastes a bit sweet, has an alcohol smell..." Snape frowned in analysis. "But... the molecular structure is stable. How is this possible? Without magic support, why hasn't the liquid evaporated?"
Just then, the other noblewomen in the shop swarmed over.
"What is that? Is that a new product in Master Ivan's hand?"
"I want it too! I want that two-Knut magic water!"
"Master Snape, haven't you sold out of your hair potion? I think Ivan's works better!"
Snape looked at Ivan surrounded by ladies, then at the unwanted green poison in his hand.
An unprecedented sense of defeat washed over him.
But he was Snape, after all.
He took a deep breath, walked up to Ivan, and extended his hand.
"Give it to me."
"What?" Ivan paused.
"The formula." Snape's eyes became terrifying, filled with extreme thirst for knowledge. "Give me your 'Ingredient List'. I need to know what the hell is in here! If it really works... I might consider returning to Hogwarts."
Ivan smiled; he was waiting for this.
He pulled a roll of parchment from his jacket and tossed it to Snape.
"Welcome back, Professor. However, Potions class might need a name change."
Snape caught the parchment. One look, and he froze.
It wasn't runes, but strange symbols: H₂O, C₆H₁₂O₆, and various chemical structures.
"Is this... a branch of Alchemy?" Snape tried to understand with his limited knowledge.
"No, this is Chemistry." Ivan patted Snape's shoulder earnestly. "In the future, Potions class will cover 'Redox Reactions' and 'Acid-Base Neutralization'. By the way, to celebrate your return, I prepared a gift for you."
Ivan pointed at Lucius.
"Lucius, since you love beauty so much, you can be Professor Snape's first 'Clinical Trial Subject'."
Lucius hadn't reacted yet. "What clinical trial?"
Snape looked at the formula on the parchment, then suddenly revealed a cold smile that gave Lucius goosebumps.
"Excellent." Snape raised his wand. "Since we are researching 'Molecular Recombination', we need some bold attempts. Lucius, take off your shirt. I want to test 'High Concentration Fruit Acid Peel' on your back."
"Wait! Snape! What are you doing?! AHHH!!"
Ten Minutes Later.
Passersby in Knockturn Alley witnessed a horrific scene:
Lucius Malfoy, his entire skin turned a bizarre blue (due to Ivan adding Copper Peptides) and hair shocking pink (side effect of hair potion), was sprawled on the shop's display counter, laughing eerily into a mirror.
"I'm beautiful... I'm truly beautiful..." Lucius touched his blue face, eyes glazed. "Narcissa will love me to death..."
Snape stood by, quill in hand, frantically recording data:
"Subject One: Skin bluing 80%, pain reception lost, IQ dropped... Conclusion: Formula needs improvement, suggest adding Wyvern Bile to enhance toughness."
Ivan sat on the counter, drinking Snape's special (sugar-added) absinthe, watching this scene with satisfaction.
"This is what Hogwarts should look like."
Just then, an owl flew in and dropped a letter.
The envelope was gold, stamped with alchemical symbols.
Ivan opened it. It was from Nicolas Flamel.
"Dear Ivan: Heard you refined the Philosopher's Stone into a power bank? I think we need to talk. Also, I don't understand your 'Nuclear Reactor Alchemy' theory, but I am greatly shocked."
Ivan raised an eyebrow, looking at Snape, who was still applying blue ointment to Lucius.
"Professor, looks like we have a new project."
"What?" Snape didn't look up.
"How to brew Felix Felicis using nuclear fission." Ivan smiled. "I think this will make your Potions class the most 'Hardcore' course in the school."
Snape's hand shook, dropping a blob of blue ointment on Lucius's nose.
But he didn't object.
Instead, his eyes shone with the light of a "Mad Scientist."
"Sounds..." Snape whispered, "much more interesting than making face masks for these idiots."