Chapter 7: Eraserhead vs. The 24-Frame-Per-Second Headache
(Sunny Midoriya POV)
I was currently using my own ears as a pair of jump ropes while Izuku, Toga, and a very grumpy Bakugo watched. Aqua was in the corner trying to convince a group of 5-year-olds that if they gave her their pudding, she'd grant them 'Divine Immunity' from nap time.
"Look, Izu-chan! I'm a double-dutch master!" I chirped, my feet blurring with a rhythmic THWIP-THWIP-THWIP.
But suddenly, the air in the classroom shifted. It felt... heavy. Not 'Commercial Break' heavy, but 'I-haven't-slept-in-three-years-and-I-hate-everything' heavy.
I stopped jumping. My ears snapped back to the sides of my head with a loud TWANG.
"He's here," I whispered, pulling a director's megaphone out of my pocket. "Everyone, places! The guest star has arrived! We need more fog! More drama! Somebody give Bakugo a louder explosion!"
"SHUT UP, GAG-BOY!"
Before I could reply, I felt a 'ripple' in the narrative. My Fourth-Wall Sense™ started tingling, and I did what any responsible toon would do: I reached into the air and pulled down a literal 'Flashback Screen' from the ceiling.
"Check it out, guys," I said, pointing to the shimmering screen. "Let's see how we got here."
[The Flashback Screen: UA High School – Ten Minutes Ago]
The scene showed Principal Nezu—that mouse, dog, bear, thing—sipping tea in a very expensive chair. He was listening to a phone on speaker.
"PLEASE! SEND HELP!" Ms. Hina's voice shrieked from the speaker. "The glitter... it's sentient! The Midoriya kid turned the floor into marshmallow! A girl with blue hair just drowned the hamster in 'Holy Water'! I can't... I can't do this anymore! Send a Pro! Send a squad! Send an exorcist!"
Nezu's beady black eyes twinkled with a terrifying amount of amusement. He took a sip of tea. [SLURP].
"Fascinating," Nezu squeaked. "A child who treats reality like a suggestion. It sounds like a psychological goldmine."
He turned to the man slumped in the corner, wrapped in a yellow sleeping bag. Shota Aizawa looked like he'd rather fight a legion of villains than go to a kindergarten.
"Aizawa-kun," Nezu chirped. "Since you're so good at 'erasing' problems, why don't you go handle this? It'll be a good exercise in patience."
"I'm not a babysitter," Aizawa growled, his voice sounding like two pieces of sandpaper rubbing together.
"Consider it a mission," Nezu smiled, his paws folding neatly. "Report back on whether the laws of physics are still functioning. If they aren't... bring me back a souvenir."
Aizawa groaned—a long, soul-crushing sound—and stood up, his capture scarf unfurling like a grumpy snake.
[Present Day: The Kindergarten]
The classroom door didn't just open; it creaked with the weight of a thousand sighs.
Aizawa stepped inside. He looked at the glitter-covered ceiling. He looked at the marshmallow-stained floor. He looked at Aqua, who was currently trying to use her 'Goddess Powers' to make a water-sculpture of herself, and then he looked at me.
I was wearing a beret and a silk scarf, holding a clapboard.
"Action!" I yelled, snapping the board. [CLACK!]
"Sunny Midoriya," Aizawa muttered, his eyes narrowing. "Principal Nezu sent me to assess the... situation."
"Welcome to the show, Grumpy-Sensei!" I grinned, my teeth doing a literal 'ping' flash. "You're just in time for the musical number! I hope you brought your tap-dancing shoes, because gravity is currently on a coffee break."
"Enough," Aizawa said. His hair suddenly floated upward. His eyes glowed a fierce, bloodshot red.
The 'Erasure' hit me.
Now, usually, when Aizawa erases a Quirk, the person just... stops being able to do their thing. But I'm a cartoon. I don't have a 'Quirk' factor; I have a 'Gag' factor.
The world went gray. My vibrant yellow and green colors faded into grainy, flickering black-and-white. I didn't lose my powers; I just changed genres.
I suddenly had a pencil-thin mustache and a tragic, dramatic cape. I clutched my chest, my eyes growing four times their normal size and filling with shimmering, watery tears.
"OH! THE HUMANITY!" I wailed, falling to one knee. I pulled a skull out of nowhere and held it up to the ceiling. "Alas, poor Sunny! I knew him, Horatio! A fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy! And now... the light! It fades! The ink is running dry! Tell my mother... I died... in Technicolor!"
I collapsed onto the floor, my body turning into a flat, 2D chalk outline.
Izuku gasped. "Sunny! No!"
Toga looked impressed. "Wow, he's really good at dying."
Aqua poked my chalk outline with her toe. "Get up, you drama queen! You're making me look bad by comparison!"
Aizawa stared down at me, his eye twitching. "I... I haven't even touched you. I'm just suppressing your quirk. Why are you a chalk outline?"
I 'popped' back up from the floor, my colors returning to normal with a loud [ZAP]. I wiped an imaginary tear from my eye.
"Bravo! Five stars for the performance!" I cheered, clapping my hands. "But seriously, Sensei, you can't 'erase' me. You can only change the art style. If you keep those eyes red for too long, I might turn into a 1920s silent film, and then we'll have to communicate via title cards. It's a real pain in the neck for the readers."
Aizawa rubbed his temples. "I don't get paid enough for this. Nezu is definitely laughing at me right now."
He turned his back to me, looking over at Izuku and the others to make sure they weren't traumatized. "Listen, kids. My name is Eraserhead. I'm here to make sure this... 'Sunny' person doesn't actually break the building."
This was it. The perfect opening.
I didn't move fast. I moved with 'Toon Stealth.' I tip-toed behind him, my feet making a loud [TIP-TOE-TIP-TOE] sound that somehow, despite being a Pro Hero, Aizawa didn't hear. I pulled a long piece of paper out of my sleeve and a tube of 'ACME Ultra-Glue.'
With the precision of a surgeon, I slapped the paper onto the back of his capture scarf.
The sign read in giant, neon letters: "I HAVE A CRUSH ON ALL MIGHT! KICK ME FOR LUCK!"
I zipped back to my original spot before he could even blink. [FWOOSH!]
"What are you doing back there?" Aizawa asked, spinning around.
"Nothing! Just admiring the fashion! That scarf is so 'post-modern chic'!" I replied, holding up a thumb.
Bakugo, who had seen the sign, let out a bark of laughter that sounded like a car backfiring. "HA! Nice one, Gag-Boy!"
"Katsuki! Don't be rude!" Mom (who had just walked in for pick-up) scolded. She looked at Aizawa. "Oh! Are you the new teacher? You look... tired."
"I'm a Pro Hero, ma'am," Aizawa said, trying to maintain his dignity while a 'Kick Me' sign glowed on his back. "I'm just here to supervise."
As he walked toward the exit, every kid in the classroom—and several parents—were staring at his back. Even Toga was giggling behind her hand.
"Wait! Sensei!" I called out.
He stopped, looking over his shoulder. "What now?"
I ran up to him and, with a very sincere expression, gave him a firm, solid head-pat. [SQUEAK-SQUEAK].
Aizawa froze. His hair stood up again. His eyes went red. "Did you just... pat my head?"
"You looked like you needed it, Grumpy," I said. "You're a hero! You're doing great! Don't let the 'Void' get you down!"
For a second, I thought he was going to capture me and send me to the moon. But then, he just sighed—the loudest, most defeated sigh in history—and walked out the door.
As he walked down the street, we saw a random passing civilian see the sign, look at Aizawa, and then—thinking it was some kind of Hero-training exercise—lightly tap him with their foot.
"KICKED FOR LUCK!" the civilian yelled, running away.
"I quit," we heard Aizawa's voice echo from the distance. "I'm retiring. I'm going to become a cat-sitter."
(Sunny Midoriya POV)
I turned back to my crew. Aqua was melting into her puddle-state because she was jealous that Aizawa got a head-pat and she didn't. Toga was drawing a picture of Aizawa with a heart over his head.
I gave Aqua her ritual head-pats, and she instantly turned into a blissful blue soup. Then I patted Toga.
"Well, family," I said, leaning against the air. "We survived a Pro Hero. I think that deserves some ice cream. And don't worry—I already swapped the ice cream man's truck with a giant carrot. It's gonna be a healthy evening!"
Izuku laughed, grabbing my hand. "You're the best, Sunny! Even if you are a little bit of a villain to the teachers."
"I'm not a villain, Izu-chan," I winked. "I'm just the comic relief."