Her name was Zainab.
I found that out two days later when Dayo and I were at the SUG office trying to get clearance for the video gig. She was there too, submitting some form, and one of the guys at the desk called her name.
"Zainab, your receipt."
She took it without smiling, said thank you, and left.
Dayo noticed me noticing..lol
"You know her?" he asked.
"No." I replied
"You want to?" he asked, with a mischievous smile.
"Focus on the clearance, man." with a lil smile on my face I said.
But he was already grinning. Dayo liked to think he understood people. He didn't. He just liked to talk.
We got the clearance. Barely. Had to argue with some guy who acted like he owned the stamps. By the time we left, I'd forgotten about Zainab.
Until I saw her again that evening.
I was at the junction, waiting for Kunle. He'd called saying he had something for me, probably money he borrowed last month that I'd forgotten about.
She was across the street, standing outside a bookshop, reading the back of a novel. She hadn't bought it yet. Just reading. Like she had time to waste.
I crossed over.
Don't know why...
"You gonna buy that?" I asked her, with a shivering voice.
She looked up. Didn't recognize me at first. Then did, vaguely.
"Maybe." she replied.
"Which one?" I asked.
She showed me the cover. Some literary thing. Author I'd heard of but never read.
"You like that kind of stuff?" I asked, afraid she'd get tired of my silly questions, coz it's getting too much already.
"Sometimes." She put it back on the shelf. "You?" she asked, like she doesn't really care.
"I write." I replied.
"What kind of writing?" she asked me.
"The kind nobody reads." I replied, with my hands in my pant
She almost smiled. "So, the honest kind."
A bus honked. Someone shouted. The city refused to give us a quiet moment.
"I've seen you around," I said. "Library. Lectures." I said.
"I've seen you too." she replied
"Yeah?" I was quite surprised like, Seen me keh, how? When? Where!?
"You're always almost late." she said
I laughed, "That's specific."
"You walk fast. But not fast enough." She try'na smile while saying that.
She was right. I did walk fast. Like I was trying to catch up to a life that was already ahead of me.
Kunle called. Said he was close.
"I have to go," I said.
"Okay."
I hesitated, "You ever need someone to talk to about books or... writing or whatever, I'm around."
"Okayy." She said it like she didn't believe me. Like people offered things all the time and never followed through.
I left before I could say something stupid.
Kunle showed up ten minutes later with ₦3,000 and an apology for it not being more. I told him it was fine. It wasn't, but what else do you say?
We walked back to the lodge together. He talked about a girl he liked. How she didn't take him seriously. How he didn't know what he was doing wrong.
"Maybe you're trying too hard," I said.
"Or maybe I'm not trying enough."
"Maybe she's just not interested." I said
He went quiet for a bit.
"You ever feel like everything is a maybe?" he asked.
"Every day." I replied.
We got back to the room. He heated up rice. We ate in silence, scrolling through our phones, watching other people's lives look easier than ours.
That night, I tried to write.
Not the assignment. Something else. Something real.
But the words wouldn't come.
I kept thinking about Zainab. The way she'd looked at that book. Like it mattered. Like something could still matter in a city that kept taking things away.
sigh...
I fell asleep with my laptop open, the page still blank.