The first time she didn't pick up, I thought nothing of it.
People miss calls, phones die. Life happens, so I didn't see it as anything.
I was at the lodge, halfway through editing a video Dayo had sent. My phone buzzed against the table. I picked it up, saw her name, smiled before I even answered.
"Hey."
(Silence.)
Then her voice, but it was distant.. like she was holding the phone away from her face.
"Sorry, can I call you back?"
"Yeah, sure, everything good?"
"Yeah, just.....I'll call you back."
She hung up.
I went back to editing.
An hour passed, two, she didn't call back.
I texted, "You good?"
The message showed delivered, then read, no reply.
I put the phone down, told myself she was busy.
The next day, I tried again.
Called during my break between classes. It rang through to voicemail.
"Hey, it's Zainab, I'll get back to you shortly, if it's urgent, please leave a message."
I didn't leave a message, texted her instead..
"Hey, I'm missing you, let me know when you're free."
She replied six hours later, "Been crazily busy, talk soon."
Two words that meant everything and nothing.
"Talk soon" Not tonight, not tomorrow, soon.
I showed Kunle the text.
"What do you think?"
He looked at it, handed the phone back.
"I think she's busy."
"You don't sound convinced."
"I think people make time for what they want to make time for." he said.
"That's depressing."
"That's life."
Wednesday, I saw her on campus.
She was outside the faculty building with two girls I didn't recognize. They were laughing about something, real laughter. The kind that makes your whole body shake.
I walked toward them.
She saw me coming, I saw her see me.
Something changed in her face, just for a second, then she smiled.
Not her real smile tho, the other one.
"Hey," I said when I got close.
"Hey."
The other girls went quiet, looking between us.
"I've been trying to reach you," I said.
"I know, sorry, It's been hectic."
"You good though?"
"Yeah, I'm good."
(Silence.)
One of the girls cleared her throat. "We should go, lecture's starting soon."
Zainab nodded, "Yeah."
She looked at me, "I'll call you later."
"Okay."
She left with them.
I stood there for a moment, watching her walk away.
She didn't even look back.
She didn't call later.
Or the next day.
Or the day after that.
I stopped texting first, wanted to see if she'd reach out.
She didn't.
Friday night, Kunle and I went to buy food from the street. Fried rice and chicken from the woman who set up near the junction every evening.
We ate sitting on the curb, watching people pass.
"You heard from her?" he asked.
"No."
"You gonna do anything about it?"
"Like what?"
"I don't know, show up at her place and maybe ask her what's going on."
"That feels desperate."
"That feels like you care, lil bro."
I didn't answer.
A bus drove past, too fast, splashing dirty water on the road. Someone shouted at the driver, but the driver didn't stop.
"Maybe she's just going through something," Kunle said.
"Then why not just say that?"
"Because people don't say things. They just disappear and hope you figure it out."
"That's messed up."
"Yeaahh, I know rii."
We finished eating, threw the containers in a pile of trash that nobody ever came to collect.
We walked back to the lodge in silence.
Saturday morning, I broke.
Texted her..
"Are we good?"
Three dots appeared, disappeared, appeared again.
Then..
"Yeah, why?"
Me: "You've been distant."
Zainab: "I told you, I've been busy."
Me: "Too busy to send one text?"
The dots appeared, stayed there for a long time,
then disappeared.
No reply.
I threw my phone on the bed.
Kunle was getting dressed for a party someone was throwing, he looked over.
"You coming?"
"No."
"You sure? Might do you good."
"I'm good here."
He left.
I lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
My phone buzzed.
I grabbed it too fast.
But it wasn't her.
It was my mom.
'Your sister needs textbooks, 5,000 naira.'
I closed my eyes.
Didn't reply, couldn't help anyway.
Sunday, she posted on her status.
A picture of her at some restaurant. Nice place. The kind with actual menus and table service.
She looked happy.
I stared at the picture longer than I should have.
Noticed things, her outfit, her hair. The way she was smiling.
Then I noticed something else, in the background, blurred but visible. Someone else at the table.
Couldn't tell who, could've been anyone.
But my mind went there anyway.
I closed the app.
Opened it again five minutes later.
Looked at the picture again.
Told myself I was being stupid.
But the feeling stayed.
The following morning, I saw Dayo at the printing shop.
"Guy, you look terrible," he said.
"Thanks."
"What's going on?"
"Nothing."
"It's the girl, rii?"
I didn't confirm or deny.
He bought me a drink. One of those small malt bottles.
We sat outside the shop.
"Let me tell you something," he said. "Women are complicated, you think you understand them, then they switch up. It's not even their fault, It's just how they're wired."
"That's not helpful guy."
"I'm not trying to be helpful, I'm trying to be honest."
A bike zoomed past, music blasting from a speaker tied to the back.
"You think she's seeing someone else?" I asked.
"I don't know, does it matter?"
"Of course it matters."
"But what are you gonna do about it? If she is, you can't change that. If she's not, you're just torturing yourself for nothing."
He was right tho but it didn't make it easier.
That night, she finally called.
I was half asleep when my phone rang. Saw her name, my heart jumped.
I answered.
"Hey."
"Hey," she said. Her voice was soft, tired.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, I just... I wanted to hear your voice."
I sat up.
"Where have you been?"
"Here, just dealing with stuff."
"What stuff?"
(Silence.)
"Zainab?"
"Can we not do this right now?"
"Do what?"
"This! The interrogation."
"I'm not interrogating you, I'm asking because I care."
"I know, I just... I can't right now."
"Can't what?"
(More silence.)
Then..
"I have to go."
"Zainab...!??"
"I'll call you tomorrow."
"Will you though?"
She didn't answer.
The line went dead.
I sat there in the dark, holding the phone.
Kunle shifted in his sleep.
Outside, the city kept moving.
Inside, everything felt still.
She didn't call the next day, or the next.
I stopped counting, I stopped checking my phone every five minutes. I stopped hoping.
I was already broke.