Saint, You're So Vulgar! – Chapter 7
That day, the kingdom was turned upside down.
[Saintess Versia, wrapped in the glory of the Parent God, manifested a halo and drove out diseases!]
The miracle that had manifested in Osia territory spread not only across the kingdom but to the entire continent in less than two days.
As rumors tend to do, the events of that day grew more exaggerated with each retelling, flesh added to the bones as they passed from mouth to mouth.
And so, Saintess Versia earned herself a new moniker...
"Miracle Saintess."
"."
"Miracle Saintess, where are you off to?"
"Please stop."
Miracle Saintess Versia.
And the man at the center of it all, Asher, was currently trembling, his face flushed beet red.
Versia trailed after him, whispering "Miracle Saintess" over and over like a tease.
The setting was her garden, and this exact scene had played out ad nauseam for the past two days.
Asher glared at Versia, lips pressed tightly together just as he always did.
Only then did Versia smile languidly, seemingly satisfied.
A sigh escaped Asher's lips right after.
"Honestly, it's all so hectic I feel like I might drop dead from exhaustion."
"Karma, isn't it?"
"D-Do you think I could've predicted that?! Who knew your Divine Power was so vast!"
"Are you blaming me now?"
"N-No, that's not!"
When Versia widened her eyes in mock surprise, Asher's face crumpled into a pitiful pout.
Truth be told, if anyone was at fault, it was him for unleashing her Divine Power so recklessly.
The weird nickname of Miracle Saintess or whatever was driving him nutsa Holy Knight like him saddled with such a bizarre title.
He still couldn't get used to priests dropping to their knees in reverence as he walked the cathedral halls, or scholars foaming at the mouth like capital journalists, shouting, "Was this an oracle too?!"
In the midst of it all, Versia spoke up.
"Still, no real disasters happened, right? That's a relief."
"Well, that's true, but."
"But?"
"I'm sorry."
As she'd said, aside from the Miracle Saintess nickname sticking, nothing else major had gone wrong.
That was right.
Even her "My life's ruined" line had just been another mean-spirited prank.
How his heart had pounded right after the incident.
He'd even gone pale with guilt, wondering if Versia had unleashed her hidden power out of fear from the overwhelming pressure.
But it had all been pointless worry.
-Eh, just kidding. Everyone who matters knows about my Divine Power anyway.
-Pardon?
-Why do you think kids get excited over stuff like "world's favorite" or whatever? Even looking like this, I'm pretty exceptional, you know?
Her Divine Power was already renowned as the pinnacle of pinnacles.
Some even said the current Pope, Sergios, couldn't hold a candle to her.
Thanks to that, there was no real interrogation.
Well, not entirelyquestions like "Why'd you suddenly do that?" were about it.
And Versia's instructed response had been simple.
-Just say there were too many patients and not enough time, so I handled them all at once.
It was a half-hearted answer, but the cardinals bought it anyway.
How impeccably did she usually conduct herself for them to accept something so flimsy?
Asher found himself lost in strange musings, and so it was today.
"At least it all ended without incident. There was a moment I really thought we were done for."
Asher could finally relax a bit.
He still hated the Miracle Saintess thing, though.
And on top of that, he'd learned something from the ordeal.
"Looks like I need to train! If I can't control my output, I won't be able to protect you!"
He needed to adapt to this body's Divine Power.
No matter the circumstances, his duty as Asher was to guard her.
He couldn't remain incompetent.
Versia replied.
"Hmm, yeah. If that had been a battle prayer instead of a healing one, the whole territory would've vanished from the mapa total catastrophe."
"."
"I'd have gone from Miracle Saintess Versia to the worst witch Versia."
"."
"I'd be a continental criminal for something I didn't even want. My life really almost got ruined."
"Sorry."
"I couldn't just let my own body get away with it, so I'd have fled with you, Sir Knight, hiding away in some forest just the two of us."
"?"
As he listened, Asher sensed the conversation veering into weird territory.
He looked up, eyes full of suspicion, and Versia grinned mischievously.
It happened right then.
She said in an exaggerated, dramatic tone.
"Ugh, ugh. Atone with your body."
"Ah! Cut it out!"
"How's that? Learned it yesterday."
"What?! Who the hell taught you that?! If anyone's spouting vulgar crap like that in the cathedral, they'll get the rod!"
"Marvin."
"?"
"We got close. Somehow."
Asher's pupils shook like there was an earthquake.
Was Marvin that kind of guy? And how did they get close? He never talked like that with me.
A whirlwind of thoughts churned in his head.
"We chatted a bit, and he said something like, 'You've been through hell, and now you've got some manly spirit. Back in the day, I was worried you were too devoutway too uptight. People need to loosen up now and then, buddy. This suits you better.'"
"."
"That's pretty much yesterday's convo. Now you can even joke around."
"."
"Sorry. Stole your friend, Sir Knight."
Asher's lips twitched.
Marvin's face flashed in his mind.
His friend, always gruff-faced, dispensing worry like clockwork.
A friend he was grateful for, and sorry to.
Of course he knew Marvin wasn't as devout as him.
He knew sturdy young men in their prime bandied about crude talk as a matter of course.
He knew all that.
So why the sense of betrayal?
He felt hollow.
"Should I flog him? Hard to justify caning friends for dirty talk but if the Miracle Saintess commands it?"
"."
"Shall I handle it, Miracle Saintess?"
Asher's head drooped.
Even so, blood was thicker than waterhe couldn't bring himself to say yes to flogging Marvin without cause.
Asher finally mumbled in a weak, crawling voice.
"S-Still, you can't say stuff like that."
"Hmm, I'll try."
"Y-You really must! If you just behave properly, Marvin will understand my sincerity! It's for Marvin's sake tooyou need to restrain yourself! A healthy mind is key to a healthy body! Marvin and I trained hard, so we're sturdy, but if you fill his head with that crude nonsense."
"Your dick stays hard all day."
"It won't!"
Kyah! Asher let out a near-feral hiss.
The corners of his eyes nearly shot up to his temples.
Versia shrugged and changed the subject again.
"Got it. So, about that training you mentioned?"
Asher knew the signal by now.
She'd teased him plenty and was satisfiedtime to stop.
How could she be so infuriating?
He wanted to pinch her cheeks and stretch them out.
"I'll focus! Don't interfere!"
Asher whipped around, closed his eyes, and clasped his hands.
And so began his "use a little Divine Power" training.
* * *
Versia sat cross-legged, watching Asher's back.
It was her back too, but that was old news by now.
Something more important had her attention.
Kiiiii.
"Eek?!"
Versia observed.
The moment Asher invoked his Divine Power, and how it flared wildly with every prayer.
She reached a firm conclusion.
'As expected.'
He was no ordinary man.
Verification was needed.
Versia drew up the body's Divine Power and tried manifesting a prayer in her hand.
But,
Pffft!
A faint glow flickered weakly before fading.
Pathetic.
With her original body, a healing prayer would've been fully formed at that output.
Why the difference?
It wasn't just the amount of Divine Power.
'Completion rate.'
That was the gap.
That was how Divine Power worked.
Despite talk of divine blessings and the Parent God's will, hilariously, completion came down to technical skill.
How precisely you arranged the power, how tightly you linked the particles to amplify itthat was key.
Expressed as output, it meant:
Even with 100 units of Divine Power, a 10% completion rate yielded only 10 units of output.
But with just 10 units and 100% completion, you got the full 10.
And it extended from there.
Versia recalled the halo from that day.
Recalled the miracle she'd wrought.
It was,
'Not 100.'
Not the level of completing 100 units at 100%.
More than that.
A certainty she could hold because her own prayer completion neared 100.
Of course, Versia could manifest a halo too, replicate Asher's miracle exactlybut it'd take serious effort.
Dizziness or nausea at minimum.
Even on a good day, she'd be winded.
But Asher?
-Click.
Just looked flustered with that innocent face.
What did that mean?
'Over 100% completion.'
She chuckled bitterly at the thought.
Asher hadn't hit the perfect answerhe'd surpassed it with a new one.
He was a man who wielded Divine Power at over 100% efficiency.
'Has anyone ever pulled that off?'
Her history knowledge wasn't deep enough for certainty, but no one she knew of.
Her gaze fixated hungrily on his back.
"Agh, why the hell!"
He flailed in panic, trying to rein in the Divine Powersuch a pitiful sight.
Yet it looked a bit different now.
'A monster.'
Even this loose-lipped knight was no normal soul.
Abnormally twisted talent.
Enough to spark a faint curiosity in Versia.
A sense of kinship, even.
She wondered.
Was that talent, that trait, part of the plan?
Or some cruel intent that forced it upon him?
Unknowable for now.
Versia shook off the thought, stood, and approached Asher.
She asked.
"Not going well?"
"Guh!"
"Hmm, probably best to seal all battle prayers for a while, huh?"
"Yessir."
"Don't take it too hard. I'm rarely in real danger anyway, and your reactions are fun to teaseI'm quite satisfied."
"You can't pick a guard for reasons like that!"
"If not for that, what use would I have for you, Sir Knight?"
"That's not!"
Asher gazed up at Versia with the wounded expression of an abandoned puppy.
She felt genuinely amused.