That day, I really thought it was the last time I would see him, since we wrapped up our project and since we were on different team webarely see each other.
I was both relieved and sad. Not having guilt by making a move on a married guy that sounds nice, until regret takes over, the devil in me can't take my eyes off him. Even if it's wrong, shouldn't I try what I'm attracted to? It's now or never. Before I leave this company.
No matter what conversation I had in my head, my day was filled with work. No time to rest, the minute I saw him in the canteen with others, he turned away as soon as he saw me. There goes my plan. Does he think I'm weird? There's no way I'm going to confront him about it after he just turned away like that.
Two days later, we had a meeting. He was present with the rest of his team. We sat on the opposite side by coincidence; I didn't make an effort to make eye contact or greet him. My eyes focused on the meeting. The reflection on the table was clear even when I was focusing on the sheets lying in front of me.
The popular girl sitting close to him, leaning towards him, murmuring questions in his ears. Her eyes focused solely on him. Her lips pressed each time he replied. He didn't dislike, or he didn't show any displeasure. He didn't pull away. Then for a second I glanced at them, she was wearing a red blouse, it looked decent from far, fromeye level distance.
But when you look from closer its an A-line blouse with a push-up bra and her cleavage popping.Sexual no, but tempting yes. It's the kind of dress you wear to a date, pull it down to attract, pull it up to look untouchable. The way she is tilting towards him, it's obvious he can see. And his facial expression, you ask? None ever smiling, calm and kind-hearted employee.
They asked us to explain a few things we worked on that night, the night he dropped me off. That night, we shared an awkward moment resulting in his new don't look at me behaviour.
By instinct, our eyes met. My expression didn't change. I pressed my hand hard, suppressing all the emotions to a blank face. But his face changed, he blushed for a second before his face turned normal, that awkward moment of his hands, his eyes desperately looking at something on the sheets. He spoke like a robot. I hate him the most.
Am I that disgusting to him for him to keep looking away from me? Or he is that transparent and giving me hope that maybe even a bit, theres chance for us. I really hate him. I really hate that handsome face.
The meeting ended, and everyone started to leave, but she still stuck to him like glue. What was her name again?
"That Tira has some guts to make a move on him, look at her dress. She doesn't deserve him," women next to me utters in despair. Well, she is a young woman, not to mention awfully pretty. If she isn't worthy of him, who is? Right, his wife.
I didn't respond, she tilted her head towards the other side,
"well young blood madam, who can resist her? He might be keeping his cool for now. Beauty like hers has a way of getting what she wants," the old man sitting next to her replied. Well, that's all I can take for today. I should have before they drag me with their nonsense.
I got up, and as soon as I was by the door side, I was stopped.
"What took you so long? Come on, let's get coffee. Vick is joining too." David took my hand and started walking. I could feel his gaze on me from the corner of my eyes. Stop looking, idiot. He looks at me when I am not looking at him, and when I do look at him, he gives me a cold shoulder.
We sat at the table, David kept the talk going, and Vick had his social expression on. He looks so different when he is with me.
"What's with you and her?" David asks. A slight crack in my head. Did he notice something was off? Vick and I looked at eachother unable to answer him right away. We both looked back at David.
"You know Tira. Everyone says she is off-limits. But she puts a lot of effort into talking to you. How did that happen?" David asked.
"Tira? I just helped her with some files the other day. That's all." Vick asnwered surprised.
"Well, as expected. It's not my place to say anything. But people are looking at it the wrong way. Everyone was looking at you guys at the meeting." David spoke, looking at the counter.
"Us?" Vick blushed.
"Maybe it's just Madam Wane hating Tira," I spoke.
"Well, this mainly started after her breakup with the boss. They say she only goes for forbidden fruit. You know what I mean," David winked and went to grab his coffee.
"I.. We don't have anything going on." Vick spoke, looking at the empty table, his face dropped all the empty smiles and masks.
"You don't have to clarify anything to me," I spoke, and he lifted his head. I didn't want to let him know I deeply cared and thought about what their relationship was.
"I don't care about it," I spoke a little harshly, even for me. His face dropped, and he looked hurt. I wish I could take back those words and keep my mouth shut.
"Here you go." David saved my life. Vick was back to his usual self; he smiled and took his coffee.
"Did you watch that new movie?" David continued with his useless talk.
The next few days, we were back to normal. Something had changed; Vick was behaving like he usually does with others. I wasn't special anymore. Is it because of what I had said? I don't know. But it hurt like hell every time he smiled at me that fakely. But hey, if that's what he wants, that's how it's going to end.
My time in that company was ending soon, and our time together was ending soon. That hollow feeling took over my heart. I often ended up in the room where we would discuss, the window, the cool evening breeze, hand laid back attitude. I'm going to miss it. All the years I had spent, the only person I could think of was him, standing far away. Now, looking at me just as another employee whom he wants to have a healthy relationship, takes me back to that one time, he called my name with a bright smile on his face.
"Shall we start the meeting?" the team lead spoke and continued.
At the end of the meeting, as everyone left. The team leader asked me,
"Try to finish this one before you go." He smiled, and I nodded. The team leader left, leaving Vick and Vick behind,
"Are you going somewhere today?"Vick asked and looked at me.
"No," I replied. We got interrupted by Tira pulling his attention towards her. Is this the last conversation we will have that was interrupted by god damn Ti? a. I can't stand them at this point, especially when he treats me like her. I picked up my laptop and walked away,
"see I told you," people kept talking, Tira this, Tira that. Thus, my time in the company came to an end. Witha small party at the end of it, we were going to part ways.