Lia
Winters are cold, just like a toxic partner. While trying to find a way back, I met my first crush and ended up as his secret girlfriend. At least he doesn't have a wife. That had become my whole point of dating. If I ever fall in love, I thought it would be my first love. When I saw that opportunity, I seized it. It turns out that a very available seat was just a matter of paying for it.
His touch was warm, and I didn't feel alone; it was something that kept me going for a while. Soon, I discovered what a piece of shit he was, having multiple girlfriends and drinking habits. I didn't have the energy to confront or break off the relationship.
I'm not the only one he likes; it didn't matter. Not because I loved him to that extent. I simply didn't care how he was, how I am, how we are. Nothing matters; I enjoyed my work as an artist. My focus was on that.
Staring at the empty wall, re-living our time together time to time, irrespective of who my lover was. You were always there like a ghost haunting my soul. If I watch a romantic movie, then look at us, I laugh for hours. We never had anything romantic, no emotional talk, no proper confession, no kiss either, other than the first and last day; all we had were pretty normal days. If it weren't for the kiss, I would have moved on by now, thinking I was just delusional like a fan wanting their bias. How can I not fall for you?
Life tastes bitter. I have lost myself completely. Yet I would rather suffer than break your glass house.
How have you been? Do you smile like before? Do you have kids? Have you ever thought of me?
I'm obsessed, but I hold back every time life feels more messed up now than before. I thought it couldn't get worse back then.
Sometimes I write stories about how we could have ended. Now it's too late, you have moved on, and I can't drag you into my shitty lifestyle. For fuck sake I kept thinking about you the whole day.
I dragged myself to a nearby restaurant.
A friend of mine took a seat without permission. Whom I barely remember, just enough to know they exist. Not enough to call friends.
"Hey! Long time no see. I was wondering what happened to you." Carla spoke. And her friend took a seat, uninterested in our conversation, looking through the menu.
"Hey Carla. Good to see you. What have you been up to?" I asked and continued to eat.
"Um. Just working in a UK company. They pay well, I can be your reffral she smiled widely. I didn't even say I was broke or didn't have a job.
Should I be pissed off or be surprised a almost stranger is trying to help me out of nowhere?
"That's sweet of you. I'm working on my art in an artworking company." I spoke.
"I will order for us." Women next to her left. She looks pretty, but arrogant.
"Sure. On sushi...." Carla listed items.
Something about her felt familiar. And she left.
"Is that your colleague?" I asked.
"Yeah. She joined recently. She had a shitty marriage, and my senior took care of her." Carla replied in a hushed voice.
"I see. She felt familiar." I replied.
"She's popular. But they say she was a lot more outgoing and fun before." Carla spoke.
"Well, life changes. There she's waiting for you. " I told Carla.
"Yeah. I will be off then. " Carla left.
I got back to my blank wall. I couldn't forget that voice. I scrolled through my Facebook account and searched Carla and found her colleague in one of their photo.
Her account didn't have many posts, but her tagged photos were endless. From office to random street photos, it's endless. And one random post caught my eye. It's him in the picture. I automatically searched all photo and people tagged in. How did I miss it?
She was his wife. The guy I'm in love with.
I called his number I had all this time, but never tried to contact him.
"Hello," my anticipation grew as I waited.
"Venn." He replied after a pause. I stopped breathing.