Haruto's legs were still wobbling as he stepped inside Saki's house, like he'd just survived a nuclear blast disguised as ten steps. His backpack felt like a ton of bricks, his heart was still racing, and his palms were slick with sweat.
"Come on in," Saki said cheerfully, leading him into the living room. "Mom made some snacks before we start studying."
Haruto froze mid-step. Snacks? Snacks meant… food. Food meant… eating in front of her. Eating in front of Saki meant… disaster waiting to happen.
He swallowed hard. "Oh… okay," he said, voice shaky.
Saki's mom appeared from the kitchen holding a small tray. "Here you go, you two," she said with a warm smile. "Some sandwiches and juice. Thought you might need a little energy before all that studying."
Haruto's brain short-circuited. Energy? Studying? Saki? His soul tried to flee again.
She's here. She's here. And she's… offering food. Oh no. What if I drop it? What if I make a weird noise? What if I… oh God, I'm doomed.
"Thanks, Mom," Saki said brightly, reaching for a sandwich.
Haruto tried to do the same, but his hand trembled so badly that he almost knocked the plate over. He steadied it, eyes wide, and muttered, "Uh… thanks."
Saki glanced at him, amused. "You're acting weird. You okay?"
Weird? Me? Totally fine. Just totally fine. Nothing's exploding. Except maybe my heart.
"I… yeah! Totally fine!" he stammered, gripping the sandwich like it was a lifeline.
He finally sat down on the couch opposite her, trying to look calm, normal, competent. He took a bite. Chewed. Swallowed. Heart racing. Eye contact impossible.
Saki noticed him stiffly chewing and smirked. "Relax, Haruto. It's just food. And me. Not exactly life-threatening."
Not life-threatening? Wrong. Everything about today is life-threatening.
He nodded, took another bite, and spilled a tiny crumb on his lap. He gasped silently.
Saki laughed lightly. "See? Nothing happened. You survived one sandwich. You'll survive studying too."
One sandwich. Survive studying… survive her… survive life. Mission impossible.
Haruto tried to calm down. Deep breaths. It's just studying. Notes. Books. Midterms. Saki's smile… no, focus.
As he glanced at her, she winked teasingly. "Don't eat too fast, you'll choke. Wouldn't want to faint before we even start."
Choke? Faint? OH MY GOD.
He blinked rapidly and nodded, trying to act casual. Casual. Totally casual.
Casual. Casual. Casual. Why is everything about today not casual?
With snacks eaten (mostly), juice sipped, and his heart still threatening to escape his chest, Haruto pushed his panic to the back of his mind. For now.
Saki tapped her notebook. "Ready to start?"
Haruto gulped audibly. Ready. Totally ready. My brain is screaming, but yes. Ready.
And with that, the study session began—Haruto's internal chaos fully armed and operational.
Haruto carefully opened his notebook and set it on the table, trying to look calm and collected. Calm. Collected. Totally fine. Totally… no, not fine. Brain, stop firing panic signals. Heart, please chill.
Saki sat across from him, flipping open her notebook with a soft thump. She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, adjusted her glasses just slightly, and gave him a small smile.
Why… why is she this cute?
Her hair caught the light in a way that seemed almost unfair. Her glasses slid down her nose just a tiny bit, making her look smart and adorable at the same time. Her finger traced over the lines of her notes, and Haruto's brain… just stopped.
Okay. Focus. Midterms. Notes. Not her lips. Not her eyes. Not the way she's… oh no, I want to hug her…
Yes. He literally thought it. I want to hug her right now. Just a little. Maybe a quick hug.
And then his brain exploded.
NO. IMPOSSIBLE. CATASTROPHE. PANIC MODE ENGAGED.
He looked down at his notebook like it was a lifeline. Pretended to scribble something. Saki's soft giggle floated from across the table.
"You're really focused," she said, tilting her head. "Almost scary."
Scary? SCARY? NO. SHE CAN'T THINK I'M SCARY. OR SHE MIGHT… DIE OF CONFUSION. I MEAN PANIC.
"I… uh… yeah, focused," Haruto stammered, voice cracking a little. His hands trembled slightly as he held his pen.
Saki leaned forward a tiny bit, brushing a lock of hair from her face. "You always get so serious when we study together," she said softly. "It's kind of… cute."
Cute. I am cute? NO. I am dying. Internally. Soul officially fled.
Haruto's face went beet red in approximately 0.0002 seconds. He tried to hide it by leaning forward over his notes, pretending to write something important. He may have scribbled a complete nonsense equation just to cover up the heat rising in his face.
I cannot survive this. I cannot. Her… her… adorable-ness… glasses… smile… just… stop existing for a second…
Saki glanced up at him and caught the faint blush creeping across his cheeks. She smirked, clearly enjoying herself. "You're blushing."
OH MY GOD SHE SAW IT. SHE SAW IT.
"Uh… I… no… not… blushing!" Haruto sputtered, waving his hands like a man trying to fan a small, deadly fire. "It's… hot in here. Very… very… hot!"
Saki laughed softly, the sound like a gentle bell, and leaned over to show him a note in her notebook. Close enough that he could feel—no, imagine feeling—her scent.
I want to hug her. Just a little. NO. DO NOT THINK THAT. I AM DYING. ABORT. ABORT.
He inhaled sharply, then realized he was probably breathing like a whale in distress. He coughed. That's normal. Totally normal.
Saki's eyes sparkled behind her glasses. "Are you okay? You look… funny."
FUNNY? FUNNY?! I AM DYING INTERNALLY. EVERYTHING IS WRONG. MY FACE IS RED. MY HEART IS… EXPLODING.
"I'm… uh… yeah! Totally fine!" Haruto blurted out, nearly knocking over his pencil case in the process. He snatched it mid-fall, heart pounding like it was trying to escape his chest.
Saki giggled again. "Sure you are. Focus on your notes, genius."
GENIUS?! YES, GENIUS! Except my brain is not functional right now. My thoughts are just… hugging her… NO. STOP IT. PANIC.
He stared at his notebook, trying to concentrate on math formulas that suddenly looked like hieroglyphics. Every time he glanced at her, his brain short-circuited. Every time she looked up, his soul threatened immediate resignation. Every time she smiled, he imagined hugging her—and promptly turned beet red.
This is illegal. This should be banned by international law. Cute-ness like this… dangerous. DO NOT SURVIVE THIS.
Saki leaned back slightly, glancing at him with a teasing smile. "You know, you're acting a little… extra today."
Haruto dropped his pen. "I… extra? I'm… absolutely… normal!" He grabbed his notebook like a shield.
Normal. Normal. Totally fine. Totally… beet red. Soul fleeing. PANIC MODE ENGAGED. Every organ… screaming.
And that's how the study session officially began: Haruto alive in body, completely dead in every other system, his brain doing somersaults every time Saki moved even slightly.
Saki tapped her pencil lightly on her notebook and looked at him with a small, encouraging smile.
"Okay, let's start with something small," she said. "Solve this: √x + √x = 8. Find x."
Haruto blinked. Simple, right? Totally simple. His brain, however, had other ideas.
Simple? SIMPLE?! My heart is exploding! My face is beet red! She's looking at me while I do… MATH?!
"Uh… okay," he muttered, picking up his pencil like it was a live grenade. "√x plus… √x… equals… eight…?" He scribbled something frantically, then erased it, then scribbled again.
Saki leaned over slightly, glancing at what he was writing. "You can do it, Haruto. Just… take it step by step."
Step by step? His entire internal system was malfunctioning. Step one: breathe. Step two: don't faint. Step three: don't look like a total idiot in front of Saki. Step four: solve the math problem…
"Okay… um… if √x + √x is 8, then… that's 2√x, right?" he whispered to himself, eyes wide.
Right? RIGHT?! She's watching me. Watching me. Watching me. SHE IS WATCHING ME.
He scribbled furiously: 2√x = 8. Then paused. Divide by 2? That seems… correct? But what if I divide wrong? What if I divide by… my soul instead?
Saki tilted her head and gave him a teasing grin. "Careful, genius. Don't panic."
Don't panic?! HOW?! SHE'S SMILING AT ME. SHE'S SMILING! My internal organs are melting!
Haruto took a deep breath, trying to concentrate, and muttered, "Okay… divide both sides by 2… √x = 4…"
Yes. Yes. Yes. Correct. Correct. Wait… she's looking at me… oh God, I want to hug her… NO. PANIC!
He shook his head like shaking the thought away. "Square both sides…" he continued, trying to act like he was 100% calm, professional, competent.
√x = 4
x = 16
He wrote it down, trying to look confident.
Saki peeked at his notebook and smiled. "Correct. Good job, Haruto."
Correct? SHE SAID GOOD JOB? My soul just exploded. I… I… I want to hug her. Yes. Hug. Hug. HUG.
Haruto panicked. Hug her? Right now? Over a math problem? NO. Absolutely impossible. His face heated to a new shade of red.
"I… uh… thanks," he said, voice cracking slightly, fumbling with his pencil like it had suddenly become a dangerous weapon.
Saki giggled softly. "See? That wasn't so hard, was it?"
Hard? That was basically a heart attack. A soul-level panic. I survived. Barely.
Haruto nodded vigorously, still clutching his pencil like it was a lifeline. "Yeah… totally… not hard… just… easy."
Easy? Easy?! My heart is still in orbit. My face is tomato red. My thoughts are illegal. Everything is… CHAOS.
Saki leaned back, smiling innocently, completely unaware of the cataclysm she had caused in Haruto's chest.
And thus begins the midterm study session… where every glance, smile, and word from Saki will continue to completely dismantle Haruto's brain, while he tries—futilely—to focus on math.
Haruto sat across from Saki at her small study table, his backpack shoved to the side like a life preserver. The notebooks, pens, and textbooks sprawled in front of them looked deceptively calm. To anyone else, it was a normal study session. To Haruto, it was a full-scale apocalypse.
Saki opened her notebook and began flipping through neatly written notes, her glasses perched just so on her nose. She hummed softly, occasionally jotting something down, and every tiny movement sent Haruto's heart into overdrive.
She's… she's so… cute. And smart. And focused. And… breathing…
He tried to concentrate on his own notes, but every time he glanced at her, his thoughts betrayed him. He imagined her looking up at him, smiling, maybe even pushing her glasses up her nose with those delicate fingers… and immediately panicked.
Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Focus. Notes. Midterms. Not her lips. Not her smile. Not her—OH GOD. I WANT TO HUG HER.
He flinched at the thought. His pencil wobbled, almost toppling over. He grabbed it, trying to look normal, but it only made his hand shake more.
Saki glanced up briefly and noticed his tense posture. "Haruto? Are you okay?"
Okay? I'm fine. Totally fine. Heart exploding, soul fleeing, face beet red—but totally fine.
"I… yeah! Totally fine!" he said too quickly, nearly dropping his pen again.
Saki laughed softly, leaning over her notebook. "You always get like this when we study together. Focused but… tense."
Focused but tense… tense?! My internal organs are rebelling. My thoughts are illegal. My soul has left the premises.
Haruto nodded frantically, scribbling something in his notebook just to appear productive. Scribble. Scribble. Act normal. Act normal. Act like your brain isn't melting.
As Saki pointed at a section in her notes, Haruto's eyes followed the movement a fraction too long. He imagined leaning over to see it better, getting a little closer… and instantly panicked.
DON'T LEAN. DON'T LEAN. SHE MIGHT THINK I'M CREEPY. SHE MIGHT THINK I WANT TO HUG HER. OH GOD, I WANT TO HUG HER.
He shifted in his chair, trying to regain composure. His face burned hotter than the sun. He muttered under his breath, "Focus… focus… focus…"
Saki glanced at him again, giving a teasing smirk. "You're blushing, Haruto. I can see it."
She CAN see it?! My brain just short-circuited. I'm DEAD. SOUL EXITING. PANIC LEVEL: GOD MODE.
"I… uh… not… blushing!" he blurted, almost knocking over his water bottle in the process. He grabbed it quickly, heart racing like a runaway train.
Saki giggled, shaking her head. "Relax. Just focus on the notes. You don't have to stare at me the whole time."
Focus on the notes… notes… right. Notes… He looked down at his notebook, tried to read a sentence, but every word blurred together because all he could think about was her… being there.
Even when she turned away to write
something, Haruto's mind betrayed him. He imagined her leaning over, her hair brushing against his arm, her small smile lighting up the room… and promptly went beet red.
Oh no. Oh no. I want to hug her. No. I cannot. Heart failure imminent. PANIC!
He shuffled his papers nervously, pretending to read, but Saki was occasionally humming softly, writing neatly, adjusting her glasses, and it was like a full-on assault on his senses.
She's so… normal. But also… devastatingly cute. Why is normal doing this to me? WHY IS SHE DOING THIS TO ME?!
Minutes passed. He tried taking notes, flipping pages, underlining words—but each time he looked up, there she was, just existing in the cutest way possible, and every attempt at studying came out looking like scribbles from a very nervous cat.
Finally, Saki looked at him and smiled, her eyes sparkling. "You're doing fine, Haruto. Don't worry so much."
Doing fine? Doing fine?! My face is tomato red. My heart is orbiting the sun. My brain is a disaster. And she's smiling. SMILING! HELP!
Haruto nodded vigorously, pretending to jot something down. "Y-yeah… totally fine…"
Inside, his soul was screaming, his heart was a war zone, and his thoughts were all illegal. But at least… at least he was sitting next to her.
Next step: survive the rest of the study session without fainting. Or drooling. Or hugging her. PANIC MODE ENGAGED.
The study session finally ended. Haruto slumped back in his chair, letting out a shaky breath. His heart was still pounding, but at least the math panic—and the Saki-is-too-cute panic—was over… for now.
Finally. Freedom. Air. My soul… can maybe return.
He stretched his arms, trying to look calm, normal, competent. He had survived. He had made it through studying without fainting, hugging, or drooling. A personal victory.
"Thanks for helping me," he said, voice still a little shaky but improving. "I… I think I understand the topics better now."
Saki smiled brightly, closing her notebook. "Of course! You did really well today, Haruto. I'm proud of you."
She's proud… she's happy… I am DEAD. Internally DEAD. Brain melting. Organs in chaos. Heart… exploding.