Haruto woke up already exhausted.
Not the normal kind of tired. Not the "I stayed up late scrolling on my phone" tired. This was the deep, soul-drained, life-questioning exhaustion of a man who had spent the entire night fighting his own thoughts and losing badly.
His eyes cracked open.
Instant regret.
The ceiling came into view, and for exactly half a second, everything was peaceful.
Then his brain woke up too.
Saki.
Haruto shot upright in bed like he'd just been struck by lightning.
"Nope. No. Not today. Not now. Absolutely not."
His heart began pounding as if it had somewhere urgent to be. He slapped his face lightly with both hands. Then harder.
"Calm down. Calm down. She's just Saki. You've known her forever. You studied at her house yesterday. You had dinner. You survived."
He swung his legs off the bed and caught sight of himself in the mirror.
Red eyes.
Dark circles so deep they could qualify as natural disasters.
Hair sticking out in directions that suggested he'd fought his pillow all night. Which, technically, he had.
"…I look like I lost a war."
He splashed water on his face, staring at his reflection like it might suddenly give him answers.
"Okay," he told himself firmly. "New day. Fresh start. You will act normal. You will not panic. You will not imagine hugging her. Or her smiling. Or her glasses. Or—"
Too late.
His face turned red instantly.
Haruto slapped the sink. "STOP IT."
Breakfast did not help.
His mother chatted casually about nothing in particular, while Haruto sat there mechanically chewing, staring into space like a soldier with flashbacks.
"You okay?" she asked.
"Yeah," he replied instantly. Too instantly. "Never been better. Peak condition. Mentally stable."
She gave him a look. "You look like you didn't sleep."
"I slept," he said. "I just… didn't turn off my brain."
He grabbed his bag and fled the house before anyone could ask more questions.
Outside, the morning air was cool. Calm. Peaceful.
Which was offensive.
Because Haruto's mind was a battlefield.
You're going to see her. Today. In uniform. Walking beside you. Like always. Completely normal. Except it's not normal anymore. Because you like her. And she doesn't know. And you're pretending everything is fine while internally combusting.
As he reached her door, he stopped.
His feet refused to move.
His hand hovered mid-air.
Abort mission. Fake illness. Transfer schools. Become a monk.
The door opened.
"Saki" stepped out, adjusting her bag strap, sunlight catching her hair just right.
"Morning, Haruto."
He died.
Not metaphorically. His soul left his body, waved goodbye, and ascended.
"M-morning," he croaked.
She tilted her head slightly. "You look tired. Did you not sleep well?"
"I slept great," he lied, immediately. "Amazing. Ten out of ten. Would recommend."
She squinted at him. "You're shaking."
"I'm… excited for school."
She laughed softly. Actual laughter. The dangerous kind.
They started walking together, just like always. Same road. Same pace. Same everything.
Except Haruto felt like he was walking beside a ticking time bomb that only he could hear.
Every time she spoke, he had to manually remind himself to respond.
Every time their arms brushed, his brain blue-screened.
This is it. This is my life now. Constant panic. Eternal chaos.
At school, things only got worse.
Kenta took one look at him and frowned. "Bro. You look like you got hit by a truck."
Mei nodded. "Or possessed."
"I'm fine," Haruto said, sitting down. "Just… thinking."
Saki leaned slightly toward him. "About midterms?"
"Yes!" he said too loudly. "ONLY midterms."
She smiled. "We'll study again later if you want."
His brain short-circuited.
"Sure," he replied, deadpan, while internally screaming.
The day dragged on like a slow, cruel joke.
Classes blurred together. Notes were written without comprehension. Every time he glanced at Saki, his heart did something illegal.
By the time the final bell rang, Haruto felt like he'd aged ten years.
Walking home beside her again, she said casually, "Come over in an hour, okay?"
"Okay," he replied.
Internally: AAAAAAAAAAAA.
From behind the wall near his house, his brother leaned out, arms crossed, smirk fully armed.
"So," he said, "studying with your girlfriend again?"
Haruto froze.
"…She's not my girlfriend."
His brother's grin widened. "Yet."
Haruto's soul collapsed on itself.
And somewhere deep inside, despite the panic, the fear, and the sheer emotional chaos, one undeniable truth settled in.
He liked her.
And there was no running away from it anymore.
The days leading up to midterms passed in a strange blur for Haruto.
Not because they were particularly exciting. No, it was because every single day followed the same exhausting rhythm.
Wake up. Panic.
Walk to school with Saki. Panic harder.
Classes. Pretend to listen. Panic quietly.
After school. Study session. Panic professionally.
At some point, Haruto stopped counting how many times he'd thought, I'm going to die today.
Studying at Saki's house became… normal. Too normal. That was the problem.
They sat across from each other at the table, notebooks spread out, pens tapping. Sometimes their knees brushed. Sometimes she leaned closer to explain something. Sometimes she yawned, rubbed her eyes, and thanked him for coming.
Every time, Haruto's brain went through the same cycle.
Stay calm.
You're fine.
This is normal.
Why is she this close?
Abort mission.
Yet somehow, day after day, he survived.
Barely.
By the time the last exam day arrived, Haruto felt like a prisoner counting the final minutes of his sentence.
The final paper was placed on his desk.
He stared at it.
Not fear. Not panic.
Relief.
As he wrote the last answer and put his pen down, he leaned back slightly and exhaled.
It's over.
When the bell rang, the sound felt different. Lighter. Kinder.
Students poured out of the classroom, already talking about answers, mistakes, freedom. Haruto walked out with Saki beside him, but something inside him had shifted.
He wasn't panicking.
He was tired.
"So," Saki said, stretching her arms above her head, "midterms are finally done."
"Yeah," Haruto replied, nodding. "Finally."
She smiled at him. "You did well, right?"
"I think so," he said honestly. "Thanks for helping."
She waved it off. "Of course. We've been studying together forever anyway."
That word again.
Forever.
He swallowed, then quickly added, "I'm just glad it's over."
She laughed. "Same. No more studying every day."
For some reason, that sentence hit him harder than expected.
Walking home, Haruto felt something he hadn't felt in weeks.
Relief.
No more excuses to go over every day.
No more sitting across from her for hours.
No more fighting his own thoughts nonstop.
When they reached their houses, Saki stopped and turned to him.
"I guess we won't be seeing each other all day anymore," she said casually.
"Yeah," Haruto replied, a bit too quickly. "That's… good."
She raised an eyebrow. "Good?"
"I mean—" He scratched the back of his head. "You know. We can relax now."
She smiled, not pushing it. "True. Let's just take it easy for a while."
"Yeah," he said again.
She waved and went inside.
Haruto stood there for a moment after the door closed.
Then he let out a long breath, shoulders sagging.
"I survived," he muttered.
Inside his room, he collapsed onto his bed, staring at the ceiling.
No more daily study sessions.
No more constant exposure.
No more emotional landmines every hour.
"I can finally breathe," he said, closing his eyes.
And yet…
Somewhere in the quiet, an uncomfortable thought crept in.
Why does it feel a little… empty?
He frowned, then shook his head quickly.
"Nope. Not thinking about that."
He turned onto his side, pulling his pillow closer, convincing himself that the relief was all that mattered.
Midterms were over.
And for now, at least, Haruto could pretend everything was back to normal.
Even if something inside him knew it wasn't.
Haruto stayed like that for a while, enjoying the quiet.
No schedules.
No study sessions.
No reason to overthink every single interaction.
Midterms were done. He had survived.
Finally… peace.
Then his phone buzzed.
He glanced at the screen lazily, expecting a random message or maybe Kenta sending something stupid again.
Instead, it was a notification from the class group chat.
"Reminder: Summer vacation starts from next week."
Haruto blinked.
Once.
Twice.
"…Ah."
Summer vacation.
The words settled slowly, then all at once.
No school.
No classes.
No forced separation.
Which also meant…
No excuse not to see Saki.
His brain, which had been enjoying its brief retirement, stood up, cracked its knuckles, and went right back to work.
Wait.
Summer vacation means free time.
Free time means hanging out.
Hanging out means… seeing her more.
His relief began to crumble at an alarming speed.
He sat up on his bed.
"Hold on," he said to himself. "This isn't bad. This is good. This is normal. Friends hang out in summer. Completely normal human behavior."
He nodded.
Then immediately shook his head.
But that's the problem.
Normal interactions are now dangerous.
His phone buzzed again.
This time, a message from Saki.
Saki: Summer vacation already… that was fast.
Haruto stared at the screen like it might explode.
His thumb hovered over the keyboard.
Say something normal.
Don't panic.
Do not reveal emotional instability.
Haruto: Yeah… feels unreal.
Three dots appeared.
Disappeared.
Appeared again.
Saki: We should do something during the break.
Haruto froze.
His soul left the room, took a train to another city, and reconsidered its life choices.
Do something.
During the break.
Plural possibilities.
His pillow, still beside him, bore silent witness as he slowly fell backward onto the bed.
"…I'm doomed."
Summer vacation hadn't even started yet.
And already, Haruto could feel it.
This was going to be anything but peaceful.
Haruto stared at his ceiling, phone still clutched in his hand, Saki's last message burning itself into his brain.
Summer vacation… do something…
He rolled onto his side, groaning softly into his pillow.
"This summer is going to kill me," he muttered.
Just then—
Knock. Knock.
Haruto flinched.
His door hadn't been knocked on like that in a while. Before he could react, he heard footsteps in the hallway.
"I'll get it," his mom's voice called out casually.
Haruto sat up on his bed, confused. Who would come over now? Kenta wouldn't knock like a civilized human. Mei usually texted first. And Saki lived next door. She didn't knock.
He listened as the front door unlocked.
The faint creak of it opening echoed through the house.
Then silence.
A pause.
"…Oh?" his mom said, surprised but polite.
Haruto's curiosity got the better of him. He stood up and stepped into the hallway, peeking from around the corner toward the entrance.
That was when he saw her.
A girl stood at the doorway.
She wasn't from his imagination. She wasn't from a message. She was really there, standing just inside the open door, sunlight spilling in behind her.
Haruto's breath caught.
His mind went blank.
Why is…
Here?
Now?
Shock rooted him to the floor, his heart slamming violently against his chest.
The girl smiled slightly, like she'd been expecting this reaction.
"Um," she said, her voice calm. "Is Haruto home?"
Haruto couldn't move.
Couldn't speak.
Couldn't even blink.
No.
No, no, no.
Not today.
Not like this.
The world tilted.
And just like that, summer vacation officially began.