"Actually, it's just me. This gentleman is here on... other business."
Makoto smiled at Kurotsuchi, then turned to the masked figure beside him.
"Kakuzu," he said. "According to our intel, the current leader of the Village Hidden in the Waterfall is a reasonable man. Do you want to go negotiate with him?"
"Mm." Kakuzu grunted a nod.
Then, as if remembering a migraine, he started complaining.
"That brat Deidara has been driving me crazy lately. I can't even focus on making money."
Deidara had returned from Iwagakure with a stolen scroll from his predecessors, hoping to draw inspiration to "optimize" his art.
Optimization required steps.
First, fix the elemental weakness since his Earth-based clay was vulnerable to Lightning.
Second, figure out how to hurt the Otsutsuki, who could absorb chakra.
The only person in the Akatsuki who could use Lightning Release freely? Kakuzu, the man with five hearts and five elements.
So, while trying to manage Amegakure's economy, Kakuzu was forced to be Deidara's punching bag.
The sparring sessions became more frequent as Deidara got more manic.
It annoyed Kakuzu so much that he finally cracked!
"Just add Exploding Tags to the clay!" Kakuzu snapped. "Exploding Tags deal Fire damage. Lightning won't counter them! You can even use it as a feint—let them think they countered you, then boom!"
Originally, Kakuzu didn't want to suggest this.
Exploding Tags cost money.
With the way Deidara burned through resources, their budget would bleed dry.
But Deidara was relentless.
If Kakuzu didn't solve this, he'd never get any work done. He remembered Makoto's advice from the first meeting: Don't get hung up on short-term profits.
If he could just shut Deidara up, he could make more money elsewhere.
The result?
"Hmph! Such low-level tools are unworthy of my Art!" Deidara spat. "That's plagiarism! It's cheating! An artist has standards, un!"
Kakuzu's patience shattered instantly.
So when Makoto invited him to the battlefield between Iwa and Kumo—incidentally near his old home, the Waterfall Village—Kakuzu agreed without hesitation.
He would leave Deidara to stew in his own "artistic integrity" for a while.
By the time he returned, hopefully, the brat would be desperate enough to listen.
"Deidara is thinking about improving his strength," Makoto mused as they walked toward the front lines.
"What about you, Kakuzu?"
"I heard the Waterfall Village has something called 'Hero Water'. Drinking it shortens your lifespan but grants massive chakra. Why don't you try it? Since your lifespan depends on your hearts anyway, does it really matter if your original body ages a bit?"
Kakuzu paused.
"Could it be..." he muttered, stroking his chin. "Did the founders of the Waterfall Village rely on Earth Grudge Fear and Hero Water together? Is that the secret?"
He fell into thought.
But he quickly dismissed it.
The village elders who sent him to assassinate Hashirama with a kunai were idiots.
They weren't smart enough to create such a synergy.
"Where did this kid come from?! Get Onoki out here!"
A roar interrupted their musing.
On the ridge opposite them, the Fourth Raikage, A, stood clad in crackling Lightning Armor.
And..... he was screaming at Kurotsuchi.
"I am the Tsuchikage, and the leader of the Land of Earth!" Kurotsuchi shouted back, not backing down an inch.
"Raikage! If you have something to say, say it to me! If not, let's fight!"
"Kakuzu," Makoto's voice cut through the noise. "Watch the waterfall."
"The waterfall?"
Kakuzu looked up at the massive cascade masking the entrance to his old village.
The Waterfall Village was neutral ground, hidden behind a natural barrier. Normally, they stayed out of Great Nation wars.
But Kakuzu noticed a ripple in the water curtain.
'Someone is coming out?'
With two Kage screaming at each other on their doorstep, the Waterfall village should be sealing its gates tight.
Who would dare leave now?
Unless...
Thwack.
Kakuzu didn't hesitate.
His arm detached, launched by black threads of Earth Grudge Fear. His fist punched through the water and pierced the chest of the figure emerging from the mist.
He retracted his arm, dragging the body with it.
"A Kumo ninja?"
Kakuzu kicked the corpse over.
The forehead protector was Kumogakure.
He was probably a Kumo operative, sneaking out of the village.
And he was clutching a large sack.
Kakuzu ripped the bag open. Inside was a teenage girl with mint-green hair, gagged and bound with sealing tags.
She looked terrified, but when she saw Kakuzu's mask, her eyes lit up with desperate hope.
"Mmph! Mmph!"
The scene turned akward.
The battlefield was silent, waiting for the Kage to finish talking, so everyone saw Kakuzu drag a corpse and a hostage out of the bushes.
On the ridge, the Raikage's eyes widened.
He recognized the bag.
Zap.
As the fastest man alive, the Raikage vanished. In a blink of an eye, he appeared in front of Kakuzu and reaching for the girl.
Kakuzu's eyes widened.
WHAM.
However... The Raikage's arm, sheathed in high-voltage lightning, stopped dead.
A hand had caught his wrist.
"You?!"
The Raikage looked up, shocked.
He stared into Makoto's calm face.
He hadn't expected anyone aside for the dead Minato to be able to react to his top speed, let alone catch him cold.
"Raikage," Makoto smirked, his grip tightening. "Why is Kumogakure always coveting other villages' Jinchuriki? Aren't you afraid someone will snatch yours away while you're busy shop lifting?"
He was mocking him.
Makoto had wondered why Kumo declared war on Iwagakure so quickly.
Was it really just about "upholding the rules"?
Nope.
It was a classic "Borrow a Path to Conquer" stratagem.
They used the war as a distraction to sneak a team into the Waterfall Village to kidnap the Seven-Tails Jinchuriki, Fu.
Just like when they tried to kidnap Kushina and Hinata.
'Why is the Raikage always kidnapping people?' Makoto thought.
In fanfics and doujin, he's always cuckolding people for their wives.
But in reality, he's just cuckolding villages for their Jinchuriki..... and strangely enough his 'victim' is always a young girl.
Fu, the Seven-Tails Jinchuriki, blinked up from the bag.
Bathed in the electric glow of the Raikage's armor, she got a clear look at Makoto's face.
A blush crept onto her cheeks.
'He's cute...'
"You're a new face, kid," the Raikage growled, trying to pull his hand back. "You're not from Iwa."
"He's a mercenary I hired!" Kurotsuchi shouted from the ridge, looking smug.
"A mercenary? Heh," the Raikage sneered. "Don't..."
"...'Get the money but not have the life to spend it'?" Makoto finished the sentence for him, looking bored.
"Is that it? Can't you come up with some new lines? You guys always say the same thing."
"..." The Raikage's eye twitched.
"Hmph! So you've heard of my father's glorious reputation?" A snorted. "Do you know the terror of the Hell Stab?"
"Do you know it or not?"
"I don't," Makoto shrugged. "But to deal with you, I don't need a One-Finger Nukite... or a Two-Finger Nukite..."
"??????" The Raikage blinked.
"How about a Vocational School Nukite?"
"..."
"Don't tell me you don't even have an elementary school level education?"
"With such a low level of education," Makoto shook his head pityingly, "no wonder you only think of snatching Jinchuriki. You're failing to see that this war is a golden opportunity for Kumogakure's development."
Makoto released his grip.
The Raikage leaped back, rubbing his wrist.
"What do you mean?" A asked, frowning.
"When I heard you declared war, I thought you intended to lose on purpose," Makoto said loudly, ensuring the troops could hear.
"Think about it. Iwagakure was decimated. They lost their Daimyo. They were weak. Yet, after just one month of reform under the new Tsuchikage, they have rallied."
"If you lose here, it won't be because your muscles are small. It will be because their system is superior."
"You could use a defeat here to prove a point to your own Daimyo," Makoto grinned. "You could say, 'Look! Iwagakure beat us because their Kage has absolute control over resources! We need to do the same!'"
"You could implement a constitutional monarchy. Transfer the power—and the money—from the Daimyo to the Ninja Village."
The Raikage froze.
He was a muscle-head, but he wasn't a dumbass.
He hated the Daimyo's meddling.
He hated begging for funding.
This... was exactly what he wanted.
But he had never thought of it from that angle.
He thought he had to crush the rebellion to maintain order.
But what if joining the rebellion was the path to power?
"..."
The battlefield went silent as the Raikage pondered 'treason'.
"Thank you for the advice," the Raikage finally grunted.
His eyes flashed.
"However... we are still taking the Seven-Tails Jinchuriki back with us!"
He charged again.