Rhodes covered his darkened face in pain, already imagining his superior whipping him once he returned.
At this moment, Rhodes was thinking about how the military would spare no effort to reclaim Tony's armor, and he guessed it would be extremely difficult to handle. He secretly wished a Skrull would come and take his place through this ordeal.
Oh, you say no one on Earth knows about the Skrulls? Never mind then.
Jack hitched a ride in Pepper's car, and together they went to Tony's seaside villa.
Upon arrival, Tony had already begun modifying his armor.
Originally, Rhodes didn't have permission to enter the underground lab, but since everything about Tony's identity was about to be made public, there was no need to hide the lab from Rhodes anymore.
Seeing Rhodes return, Jack asked curiously, "Didn't you go back? Why are you here again?"
"I'm afraid my superior will whip me, so I might as well hide here for a day."
"Rhodes, you're so thin, no master would ever whip you. You're safe."
Rhodes: (꒪ั∀꒪ั*) "Don't make such dark jokes."
It was Rhodes' first time seeing the Iron Man armor up close, and he couldn't suppress a smile. Even Jack, who had seen it before, wore the same expression.
"As expected, men react the same way to things they haven't played with."
Tony's voice came from behind them as he held a coffee cup, leisurely blowing on it before taking a sip.
"Ethan, next time make me iced coffee. Hot stuff is too inefficient."
Tony complained that the hot coffee Ethan had prepared wasn't smooth enough for his liking.
Ethan carried a tray with two exquisite ceramic cups filled with hot tea.
"Chinese medicine says drinking hot water can…"
"Alright, Ethan, enough. Hot water belongs in my power plants, not my stomach."
Tony interrupted, voicing his own opinion over Ethan's explanation.
Jack and Rhodes picked up the teacups and savored the tea.
Rhodes sipped and said, "I remember this tea. Isn't it the one from that auction?"
Jack was curious. In his previous life, he only drank Monkey King brand tea and only recognized jasmine tea; other varieties puzzled him. But this one was indeed delicious.
Rhodes continued, "I think it's connected to a female companion Tony had. Back then, he even made some flirtatious comments about it… something like 'Green' something…"
Jack: "Green tea?"
Rhodes clapped his hands. "Exactly! Green Tea, and then there's British Black Tea."
Jack: "So what variety exactly?"
Rhodes thought for a moment. (◞ˊ～ˋ) "Seems connected to the hottie Tony was with… let me think carefully."
Jack started associating. Hottie? Green tea? Bitch?
Jack asked hesitantly, "Biluochun?"
Rhodes gave a look that said, you got it right: "Exactly. When Tony heard the tea's name, he joked she was from the same 'Bi' generation as the tea and even called her a real little 'Bi-tch'."
"Oh, now I understand," Jack said. "By the way, how much does this tea cost per pound?"
Rhodes couldn't recall clearly: "200,000 or 700,000? I forgot."
Jack suddenly realized something and asked Ethan, who was drinking tea, "Ethan, have you had any stomach aches recently?"
Ethan shook his head. "No, is there something wrong with this tea?"
Jack silently put down his cup. "This tea should be biluochun, but its shelf life is generally only about a year, so…"
(The biluochun in my house only lasts a year too, hee hee.)
Rhodes also set down his cup. "Tony, this came from that auction with your June 2002 cover model, right?"
"Rhodes, I can't remember every cover girl, but yes, that tea is from '02."
Just as the three were about to give up, Jarvis spoke:
"Gentlemen, the tea's storage cabinet underwent special drying treatment to preserve flavor while extending its shelf life. Ms. Pepper checks it regularly, so there's no need to worry about the 'Bi-tch' spoiling."
"Jarvis, it's the biluochun spoiling, not a 'Bi-tch'."
"Understood. Thank you for the correction, Mr. Jack."
Rhodes still wanted to complain, but Tony took him out for a large meal.
At the table, Rhodes eyed the grilled meats and dishes. Tony struggled to swallow, clearly reluctant.
Jack and Ethan had stopped eating long ago; Jack was teaching Ethan some Chinese.
"Tony, are you sure you want to eat? You've been trying for half an hour," Rhodes said, watching him struggle.
"If you guys don't like it, your problem. How could a shop I chose not be delicious? Look, I've already eaten thr— BLEGH~ (≥ཀ≤˵)."
Jack saw enough and suggested, "How about I handle the second half? It'll be more comfortable than this."
Hearing this, Rhodes stood. "What are we waiting for? Let's go. Doing anything is better than watching a seal regurgitate here."
Jack slapped Tony on the back, causing him to spit out the food, then pulled him along.
"Let's go. I'll show you some Chinese-style relaxation."
… "Oh Oh my god Oh—"
"Rhodes, keep your voice down. Only those with kidney deficiency feel pain. Want the whole world to know you're useless?" Jack warned across a wooden partition.
"Use more force, a bit more. Didn't you eat today?"
The old master massaging Rhodes looked at him foaming at the mouth and continued applying pressure. Tony had already passed out from the pain after only a few presses.
The old master commented: "Weak. Weaker than anyone on the screen."
Ethan's massage was gentle, so he felt comfortable.
As a bathhouse veteran, Jack felt he could handle the treatment easily. His strength had increased constantly since transmigrating, so he even ordered two old masters to use wooden sticks.
"Tony? Rhodes?" No response. Jack called out.
"Sir, Mr. Tony has fainted," the master replied.
"This little black monkey too. Weak as hell. Even his mouth isn't as tough as Koreans'; at least they tell me to use more force after fainting."
The old master massaging Rhodes agreed: "Yep, weak as hell."
Jack asked about Indians: "Are their mouths tough too?"
The master covered his mouth, as if hearing something unspeakable.
Jack: (⊙_⊙) "Master, you didn't wash your hands! Even if it's my feet, I care!"
The master realized his excess and handed Jack an alcohol pad. Jack wiped his mouth as the master explained:
"Our Chinese foot massage parlors don't serve Indians."
Jack guessed: "Because they're… toxic?"
The old master sighed: "Last year, someone served an Indian and got triple infections—fungal, bacterial, and viral. Both were taken to some Virus Research Center. After curing the massage master, they tossed him out. He lost an entire circle of weight."
Jack: (꒪ᗜ꒪ ‧̣̥̇) "This… is fake, right?"
"How could it be fake? Let me tell you—"
"Old Han, focus on the massage."
The foot massage ended late at night, leaving all four a little weak in the knees—but it wasn't weakness; it was the relaxation after a massage, making their feet unaccustomed to hard walking.
The four walked into Tony's living room with arms around each other, unaware that dark forces lurked in the shadows.
"Welcome home, gentlemen."
"Jarvis, why aren't the lights on?" Jack asked.
"Sorry, sir, my control sys—" Jarvis went offline mid-sentence.
"I am Iron Man. You think you are..." A familiar voice came from the dark windowsill. Jack immediately pulled out his gun and aimed at the black figure's head.
"Tony, is that a slave you bought for ten bucks? Since when can slaves enter the master's house?"
Rhodes looked dissatisfied. "Jack, watch your words, or I'll poke your soles with the hardest jade stick." He raised a handgun in warning.
"Tony Stark, you think you're the only super—"
"Hands behind your head. Get down on the floor. I won't repeat myself. Tony, check if you know him."
Jack turned on a portable flashlight, illuminating Nick Fury's head.
"Zhang Xuan, is this the Black Egg Director you mentioned?" Rhodes asked.
"Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division. Now called S.H.I.E.L.D."
Jack pulled Ethan toward the kitchen, not wanting to stay with someone so untrustworthy. That shot was just an expression of annoyance.
Jack feared Nick Fury might be a Skrull. Shooting him in the leg and seeing green blood could expose the Skrulls too early. Radical Skrulls discovering this now would be catastrophic.
He poured some chilled fruit tea and sat on the sofa, listening to Nick Fury attempt to act mysterious with Tony.
Tony, sipping fruit tea from Ethan's cup, asked lazily: "So you're the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.?"
Nick Fury didn't answer directly, still aiming to finish his prepared speech.
"Tony Stark, you think you're the only superhero? You're part of a bigger universe—you just don't know it yet."
Tony waved his hand: "Go ahead, we're listening."
Nick Fury said coldly, "Their clearance level isn't high enough to know these things."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You can visit my Patreon page:
Patreon.com/PhoeniXcel
I upload 2 chapters daily on Patreon!
There are 30+ advanced chapters available for you to read.
Your support would be greatly appreciated.