I do remember everything, I was just in denial.
I think the angel Zefith succeeded in collecting my soul, hence why I'm in this white space.
"Okay. I'm not going to play dumb anymore, Zefith. Tell me what's going to happen to me now."
Zefith took a deep breath. "That makes things so much easier. Let's go over your contract of reincarnation, shall we."
That was a sharp change in personality I thought. Wait, did he say contract?
"Hold up. What do you mean by contract? Are you trynna scam me? I knew you were sent by the 'Lalilulelo'!"
"Shut up damn it!" Barked Zefith "I don't even know what that nonsense is supposed to mean, and I'm not a scammer!"
He stopped speaking for a second and took a deep breath. I have a feeling that he's going to give me a long lecture.
"While we do use the word 'contract', the contract of reincarnation isn't really a contract. Sure, it does serve as a connection between you and me but I won't have anything to do with you after you're reincarnated, unless you're causing a ruckus in your new world. Even if you do wake up one day and decide to burn the world, I'll just have to snap your neck before you try anything funny. The contract of reincarnation is just a document that states the name of the angel, the reincarnate and about what is going to happen to the reincarnate, it would also be mentioned if there's going to be any bindings, debuff, special abilities, etc. Now. Do you understand?"
"Huh? Yeah. I think I understood. "
"Oh you think you understood? Were you even listening in the first pl-"
"I've got a few doubts" I interrupted, because if I don't, I'll have to listen to another one of his long lectures.
"A doubt?" He sighed "Go ahead."
I didn't expect him to actually stop whining. Now I don't know what to ask... Ah yes- the special conditions!
"It's about the special condition, am I going to receive any special abilities or buffs? Is my reincarnation going to be like one of those power fantasy novels?"
"You? Special abilities?" He chuckled and looked at me from top to bottom in an appraising manner "No son. A loser like you won't be getting any of that. A totally normal reincarnation it is."
I expected something along those lines but the way he said that bulged a nerve on my forehead. His behaviour motivates me to take another bite out of his wings.
I decided to play chill. I'm not going to express my dissatisfaction.
"At least tell me what kind of world I'm going to be reincarnated in." I requested
"Oh. About that..." He sounded unsure. "I don't get to know that kind of stuff beforehead, I'll get to know about it only when I read the contents of the contract. Would you like me to do it now?"
"Okay. Go ahead"
Zefith opened a mildly decorated white scroll that looked like what one would imagine after hearing the word 'divine revelation'. It emitted a golden glow.
" I-- Zefith: angel number 416275 of the reincarnation Corp. --hereby administer the act of reincarnation on-"
"Wait!!!" I interrupted. That's the part where he mentions my name. I can't let him read my name, no matter what happens.
"Can we do it without the contract?" I asked.
"No." He replied "I myself don't hold the ability to carry out reincarnation. It is by reading the contract through which the act of reincarnation is administered."
His eyes turned to the contract of reincarnation. I just didn't want him to know my name. Thanks to my parents' bad sense of naming, my pride was about to crumble in front of some idiot.
"Hold up!" I interrupted just as he was about to continue reading. "How about w-"
Just as I was about to say something, Zefith stretched his left hand towards me and pressed his thumb against his other fingers- a gesture that says "Keep your mouth shut".
That wasn't very polite, I'm going to say it anyway.
"Mmph... hmm? Mmm!"
I realise what he did was some kind of a spell to keep my mouth closed.
"Where was I? Yes. I hereby-" He continued to read the reincarnation contract until he reached the part where my name is mentioned. "What? Wait... what the heck kind of name is that!"
He burst out in uncontrollable laughter. He was laughing so hard that he was starting to suffocate. This one is on my parents for giving me such a humiliating name.
"Hahahaha! What kind of parents would name their child 'Chunchunmaru'!? Oh crap- I can't breathe! I can't stop laughing! Just how much do they hate you!?"
He continued to laugh for a few minutes. And when our eyes met after he was done laughing, he started laughing again. His laughter sounds more annoying than a certain youtuber's first music video. Seriously, his laughter put me at the thick of it, and I'm sick of it.
I had enough. I pounced on him and bit a big fat chunk out of his right wing.
"What do you think you're doing!?"
He tore me from his back and threw me as far as possible. He could throw very far, I was weightless against his strength. I didn't give up, I got back up and ran towards him with killing intent.
He hurriedly started reading the contract, hoping to reincarnate me before I reached him.
He spawned obstacles on my way to slow me down, I didn't plan on stopping. I had to slide under things, vault over obstacles and even had to climb walls- that was more wall climbing than any Latino. It sounded like he's about to finish administering the reincarnation contract.
I got really close to him, then he spawned a huge white cube the size of a couch above me. I decided not to dodge this one, instead I caught it and just as I was about to throw it at Zefith-
Glow
I couldn't move. My body started emitting a golden glow and text made up of light started appearing all over my body.
"What are you going to do now? Are you going to cry about it?" asked Zefith, in a mocking tone.
"No... this can't be happening. Not like this!!!"
Shatter
I broke out of the state of paralysis through sheer willpower.
"I-i-impossible! How can a mere human break the rebirth spell?"
"Zefiiiith! You're gonna pay for this!"
Zefith was in pure disbelief. One of my legs was still paralysed. But that wasn't going to stop me, I just had to drag it along- maybe even swing it at him like a baseball bat.
However, Zefith had other plans. He flew towards me with the hand holding the contract stretched out. He forcefully pushed it against my face. He was pushing it against my face while flying, my legs took off from the ground and the extreme g-force made it hard for my body to move.
"Hasta la vista, Baby!" Said Zefith before punching my face mid-air which was blinded by the scroll.
The punch sent me into another dimension. I could see again, it looked like outer space. I was flying towards a galaxy at an alarming speed. But weirdly, I didn't feel any panic, that's when I realised that I didn't have hands or legs. I am just a soul that is heading to its designated body.
I got closer to the galaxy, then a star system that looked very different from the solar system- this one had about 20 planets which was arranged in a queer pattern- then to my planet and straight down into a fancy looking medieval house.
According to what I heard from Zefith while he was reading the contract, the world I'm going to be reborn in is a hardcore fantasy world.
A new adventure awaits this misfortunate soul.