JAY - JAY POV
I went to Keifer's room to get his pills.
I opened the drawer, pushing aside papers, chargers, random things he never organizes.
Then I saw it.
A bottle.
Not the one I was looking for.
Sleeping pills.
I froze.
What the hell?
I picked it up slowly, my fingers suddenly cold.
He was taking these?
To sleep?
Why would he need these?
Why didn't he tell anyone?
Why didn't he tell me?
My heart started pounding, a mix of anger and fear twisting in my chest.
He was already struggling.
Already exhausted.
Already carrying so much.
And now this?
"Keifer…" I whispered to the empty room, "what were you going through all this time?"
It hit me then — hard, sharp, unavoidable.
He was hurting.
Quietly. Alone. For years.
That asshole is making me feel bad.
Why am I feeling guilty?
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
He's the one who messed up.
He's the one who didn't trust me.
He's the one who let everything fall apart.
So why does my chest hurt?
Why did seeing those sleeping pills make my stomach twist?
Why did hearing him cry in his sleep make my throat close up?
Why did watching him collapse make my heart stop?
Why am I feeling guilty?
Because maybe…
A part of me still cares.
Maybe because I still love him.
What—
maybe I still love that asshole.
Before I could even process that thought, Kevin's voice cut through the hallway.
"Mama! Papa is awake!"
I snapped out of it, shoved the sleeping pills back into the drawer, and walked out of the room like nothing happened.
Like my heart wasn't beating too fast.
Like I didn't just realize something I wasn't ready for.
When I entered the room, the kids were basically climbing all over Keifer, hugging him like he'd been gone for years.
He looked weak.
Tired.
But alive.
"Jay…" he said softly when he saw me.
Something in my chest twisted.
I ignored it.
"You asshole," I snapped, marching straight to the bed. "Who do you think you are, not eating for two days?"
The kids froze.
Keifer blinked, startled, like he didn't expect me to come at him that fast.
Good.
He deserved it.
His voice came out rough, barely above a whisper.
"Jay… I—"
"No," I cut him off immediately. "You don't get to collapse in front of the kids and act like it's nothing. You scared them. You scared me."
His mouth opened slightly, but no sound came out.
Good.
He could stay quiet for once.
"You three, go tell Mabel to bring the soup," I said, not taking my eyes off him.
The kids nodded fast—too fast—and scrambled off the bed.
As they walked out, all three of them gave Keifer the same look:
Sorry, Papa. You're on your own. Good luck surviving this mad woman.
"Hurry, go," I added, waving them out.
They practically ran.
The door closed behind them.
Just the anger I was using to cover the fear still stuck in my chest.
Keifer swallowed hard, eyes dropping to his hands like he was bracing himself.
"Why would you not eat for two days, Keifer?" I asked softly, sitting on the edge of the bed.
He lifted his hand slowly, almost like he was afraid I'd pull away.
But I didn't.
His fingers wrapped around mine, weak and trembling.
The moment our skin touched, something in his shoulders loosened—like he'd been holding his breath for days and finally let it out.
"I didn't… I deserved it after what I did to you," he said, looking at me with those eyes.
Those stupid eyes.
The ones that always look sincere.
"Keifer," I said quietly, "you don't get to decide you 'deserve' to starve yourself."
He shook his head weakly.
"I hurt you. I hurt us. I thought… maybe this was the only way to show you I was sorry."
I stared at him.
This idiot.
This absolute, unbelievable idiot.
"You think collapsing in front of our kids is some kind of apology?" I snapped, but my voice cracked at the end.
His grip on my hand tightened just a little.
"I didn't want to scare them," he whispered. "I just… I didn't know how to fix anything. I didn't know how to talk to you. I didn't know if you'd even listen."
"Well, so you decided to starve yourself and scare me," I snapped.
The moment the words left my mouth, I froze.
The last part…
was not supposed to come out.
He looked at me and smiled — that stupid, soft, knowing smile that always makes me want to throw something at him.
"So you care about me," he asked teasingly.
I glared at him.
"If you weren't lying on the bed right now, I would've punched you."
He didn't even flinch.
Instead, he smirked — weakly, tiredly, but still with that annoying confidence he somehow never loses.
"Punch me with your kisses," he said.
I blinked.
My brain short‑circuited for a full two seconds.
I opened my mouth—ready to roast him into ashes—
but then the kids burst in.
"Ma, here is the soup!" Kade announced proudly, marching in with Mabel behind him.
Perfect timing.
Or the worst timing.
I wasn't sure.
I took the bowl from Mabel and gave her a small signal to go.
She nodded and slipped out quietly.
The kids didn't leave, though.
Of course not.
They ran straight into my room, playing around but still peeking at Keifer like:
Is Papa still alive? Is Mama still mad? Should we call backup?
I sighed, sat on the edge of the bed, and picked up the spoon.
Keifer watched me like I was holding a weapon instead of soup.
"Don't look at me like that," I muttered.
He smiled anyway.
I dipped the spoon into the soup, lifted it, and held it near his mouth.
"Open," I said.
He obeyed instantly, like a trained puppy.
I rolled my eyes.
"Don't make that face."
"What face?" he asked, voice soft, teasing.
"The one where you act like I'm feeding you love instead of soup."
He smirked.
"I mean… you kinda are."
I glared at him so hard the spoon almost shook.
"Keifer, I swear—"
He opened his mouth again, still smiling.
And I fed him, even though my heart was beating way too fast for someone who supposedly didn't care.
After I was done feeding him, I wiped the corner of his mouth with the back of my hand.
"Sleep. You need it," I said, standing up to adjust his pillows.
I barely took one step when—
One of the kids ran past me, bumped my hip, and I lost my balance.
I fell forward.
Straight onto Keifer.
Straight onto his lips.
Lip to lip.
We both froze.
My brain stopped working.
His eyes went wide.
My hands landed on his chest.
His hands went to my waist
And then—
This asshole.
This absolute idiot.
Started moving his lips.
Slowly.
Softly.
I jerked back instantly, face burning.
"KEIFER!" I hissed.
He blinked innocently.
"I didn't do anything," Keifer said, acting like the picture of innocence.
Before I could strangle him, the kids barged in like tiny detectives.
"Ma, did you kiss Papa?" Keira asked, eyes wide with betrayal and excitement.
"Ma, why do you look so red?" Kade added, squinting at me like he was analyzing evidence.
"You look like a tomato," Kevin said calmly, as if delivering a medical diagnosis.
I stared at them.
Then at Keifer.
Then back at them.
My soul left my body.
Keifer covered his mouth, trying not to laugh, but his shoulders were shaking.
"I— it was— he— YOU pushed me!" I snapped, pointing at the kids.
Keira gasped dramatically.
"So you DID kiss Papa!"
"I DID NOT— it was an accident!" I yelled, which only made me sound guiltier.
Kade nodded like he was solving a crime.
"Accidentally kissing means you like him."
Kevin folded his arms.
"Yeah. You only kiss people you love."
I choked on my own breath.
Keifer's smile grew so wide I wanted to throw the soup bowl at him.
"Kids," he said softly, milking the moment, "Mama just cares about me."
I glared at him so hard he actually flinched.
"Keifer," I said through my teeth, "shut up."
The kids giggled.
And Keifer, the absolute menace, whispered just loud enough for me to hear—
"You still look cute when you're red."
I nearly combusted.
"Rest before I actually hurt you," I warned, pointing a finger at him.
He nodded immediately — smart choice — and lay back down.
The kids, already yawning, climbed onto the bed and curled up beside him.
Within minutes, all four of them were asleep.
The room finally went quiet.
I stepped outside, closing the door gently behind me.
And then my phone rang.
Mia.
Of course.
I sighed and answered.
"OMG," Mia gasped dramatically, "you're still alive!"
"Mia, stop being so dramatic," I said, rubbing my forehead.
"Girl, you didn't call me for almost three days and you're telling me to stop being dramatic?" she shot back. "Do you know how many scenarios I imagined? Do you know how many? At least twelve involved you being kidnapped."
I walked to the couch and sat down heavily.
"Mia, I've been busy."
"Busy?" she repeated. "Busy with what? Breathing? Existing? Avoiding me? Jay, I swear—"
I closed my eyes.
How was I supposed to explain this?
"Keifer came back and he knows about the kids," I said.
"What?" she basically screamed.
I winced and held the phone farther away.
"So you're telling me," Mia continued, voice rising like a fire alarm, "that Keifer — your EX, the father of your three little cute kids — knows where you are AND knows about the kids?"
"Yeah… and he lives with us now," I said.
I immediately pulled the phone a full arm's length away.
Because I knew what was coming.
And I was NOT going deaf today.
Sure enough—
"HE WHAT—"
Her scream could've cracked glass.
I held the phone even farther away, staring at the ceiling like God personally needed to explain why He gave me friends like this.
When the noise finally died down, I cautiously brought the phone back to my ear.
"Are you done?" I asked.
"No," she snapped.
I groaned and sank deeper into the couch.
Of course she was.
"So how did you meet and how did you let him be in your house?" she demanded.
"Well… we saw each other in the interview. And then at the amusement park he met Keira, and just like that the kids wanted to be with him. Then yeah… he lives in my house now," I said.
Mia inhaled like she was preparing to scream again.
"So what is happening now?" she asked.
"Well, to put it short… I feel bad for him," I admitted.
"After all you've been through, you feel bad for him?" she practically yelled.
"He has depression," I said quietly. "And he's been taking sleeping pills just to sleep."
Mia went silent.
Completely silent.
For a few seconds, all I heard was her breathing.
Then—
"So what are you thinking now?" she asked, voice softer, less dramatic, more… careful.
I leaned back on the couch, staring at the ceiling.
"I don't know," I said honestly. "I want to forgive him… but he has to earn it, na."
Mia exhaled slowly.
"Jay… that's fair," she said. "You're not wrong for feeling bad for him. You're not wrong for caring. But you're also not wrong for wanting him to prove himself."
I closed my eyes.
"I just… I don't know what to do."
"You don't have to decide today," she said. "Let him show you. Let him show the kids. Let him show he's changed. You're not obligated to rush forgiveness."
I swallowed.
Because hearing it out loud made the knot in my chest loosen just a little.
"And Jay?" Mia added.
"Hmm?"
"I know you still love him. And you want to forgive him. But make him earn it. Tease him," she said, like she was giving me sacred life advice.
"Yeah," I muttered, even though my brain was still spinning.
"Anyways, bye — Alex came home," she said suddenly.
"Bye. Have fun. Tell Alex I said hi," I replied.
She just hummed — that suspicious I‑heard‑something‑in‑your‑voice hum — and hung up.
I stared at my phone for a second.
Silence.
Finally.
I leaned back on the couch, letting out a long breath I didn't realize I'd been holding.
Mia was right.
Annoyingly right.
Painfully right.
I still loved him.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
HELLO EVERYONE 😭💙✨
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