I got a photo of us together.
It was during graduation time and I didn't expect to have a photo of us together. It was his sister insisting on taking a photo of us together and I think it was what broke the ice.
He finally smiled and made some goofy faces. I laughed and had fun before going home.
At the long drive home, I prayed, hoping that we will see each other in the future.
I admit. I liked him. I'm attracted to him. Though I don't understand why since we never talked much and he barely say any words to me.
....
We became classmates in college.
Unexpectedly, both of us are studying to be future physicians. I'm not surprised that he would choose this path but for me, I was nagged a lot by my family. I'm not intelligent enough to keep up but I can't talk back.
It's hard.
I'm not that good at anything and it's exhausting in trying to keep up.
Sometimes I wish I could be free. Where i could decide for myself.
I'm exhausted, I'm exhausted, I'm so exhausted.
If it wasn't for Ian, I would have given up a long time ago.
I can't stand this pressure. I hated it. I hated myself.
Soon I tried drinking all sorts of stuff just to stay awake. I forced myself not to sleep.
Because of too much pressure, I often vomited. I wanted to pull out my hair in frustration. I wanted to end this.
Ian became my seatmate one day. Eventually, he sat beside me everyday.
He helped me understand things and to not stress myself. I became a bit calmer, and took some much needed rest. He always brought me food and tried to lightened up my mood.
Soon I became a bit cheerful. Medical school became a bit easier and I can understand our lessons better because of him. He explained it to me in a way that I could understand it easily. He always encourages me and i became more confident in myself.
I was so grateful to him that I thanked him in the best way I could think of. I cooked him meals and made him some snacks. Surprisingly, he ate everything. I thought he was supposed to be a picky eater.
During our free time, he always encourages me to relax and we have plenty of good conversations that made me have a good outlook in life.
Soon, I fell in love with him.
I loved how he always stay true to himself and that he always manages to better himself.
I wished I could better myself for him.
Still, I enjoyed our time together. We studied together, eat out meals together and even did some of our chores together. We spend our nights either at the park or at the library. When we take a break from studying, we ended up talking about the stars in the night sky.
I wished I could tell him about my feelings.