It started when he accepted a job as a professor's assistant.
Soon, he became busier and we spent less time together. A lot of times he came late in class so we don't sit together much unlike before.
As he became more busy, he had less time to talk and pretty soon, we were back to where we are before. Short greetings turned into smiles then nods and soon, we weren't in the same class anymore.
I was soon back to being stressed and eventually got sick . Real sick.
It started when I vomited more often. At first I thought it was stress.
Then I got fever more often,
I got more exhausted to the point that I can't seem to have any energy to do any tasks.
My grades start falling and I'm missing a lot of classes.
I lost a lot of weight and I don't even have the energy to eat. Whenever I smelled something cooking, I felt sick.
Then I saw it. A small swelling on my neck.
At first I thought it must be a minor infection but it eventually grew to the point that I have difficulty breathing. I covered my neck with a scarf and sobbed.
....
Lymphoma.
That's what the doctor told me.
Honestly, I had my suspicion since I'm a medical student.
I decided not to continue my schooling.
So I dressed up like I had my life together and spent the rest of the school year like I have no problems at all.
I failed in almost all of my subjects but why do I care? I won't continue after all. I stopped talking to my family and started looking for a job. Preferably online since I get the feeling that I will be sick for a long time.
I saw him sometimes. But I didn't approach him.
After the semester ended, I moved away. Before I left, I spent some time lingering around the park where we used to watch the stars.
Goodbye Ian.
....
Years passed by fast.
I lived on a care facility near a hospital.
My family and I made our peace but it was not the same .
I am a failure.
I took some part time jobs here and there to pay for my bills . It paid well but money was tight.
I got all sorts of treatment but I always ended up exhausted and vomited more often. There are good days but I ended up with bad days more often.
I don't have any more dreams left.
A wish maybe. I have one.
To see him again.
And I did.
....
I met him at the hospital where I got my treatment. He looked handsome, wise and charming. He looked like a high profile doctor and I was right. He deserved it as he was already brilliant from the start.
He approached me and talked to me about so many things that I got overwhelmed. I was surprised that he became talkative as he wasn't this talkative before.
He talked as if we just saw each other yesterday and I felt annoyed. I made an excuse and hurriedly went back to the care facility.
I began to cough uncontrollably. How much longer should I suffer? It hurt a lot but It hurts much more seeing him acted like everything is normal. I know it is very presumptuous of me since we aren't in a relationship, much less being a friendship. To my annoyance, I don't know why I felt irritated. I acted very stupidly.
Since I agreed to see him again the following day, I decided to give this unrequited love of mine, one last chance.